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Can cake really be offensive?

190 replies

ThisWildHedgehog · 13/07/2026 11:23

Can cake really be offensive?

So my husband bought a really nice celebration cake over the weekend. It was large, cost £20, and was absolutely delicious, but there was too much for us to eat without some going to waste.

As we were seeing my MIL, FIL and SIL, I cut the cake in half and took it round to them in the box.

My only thought was, “It’s a lovely cake, and there’s enough to share.”

When I gave it to my MIL, I said, “We’ve brought you this cake because it’s really lovely and there’s enough to share.” She replied, “That’s fine.” I thought that was a really bizarre and ungrateful response, so I said, “Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” She didn’t respond to that comment at all.

Anyway, once we got home, I said to DH that I felt a bit deflated because his mum seemed so dismissive about the cake. He said, “You shouldn’t have taken it, as it’ll be taken the wrong way.”

I asked how on earth giving someone cake could be taken badly, and he said that because they’re all a bit on the larger side, it would come across as, “Fat people like cake - here’s my leftovers.” 😳

Surely not?! They’ve known me for 10 years, and we’ve often had cake together. How could that possibly be what they thought?

Gosh, I’m praying you all think I’m not being unreasonable and that there’s no way I’ve offended anyone by giving them the cake!

OP posts:
nomas · 13/07/2026 18:52

moltopianissimo · 13/07/2026 18:25

Who are all these people that immediately bin anything they haven't made or bought themselves? Sorry but unless you have food allergies I think that's incredibly weird, not to mention wasteful.

Agreed. It's always a treat when someone unexpectedly drops over home made food for me.

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 13/07/2026 18:34

moltopianissimo · 13/07/2026 18:25

Who are all these people that immediately bin anything they haven't made or bought themselves? Sorry but unless you have food allergies I think that's incredibly weird, not to mention wasteful.

Yeah, I don’t care if you think it’s weird or wasteful 🤣

I don’t even recycle so I don’t care about waste, and I’m quite okay with you thinking it’s weird 🤣

moltopianissimo · 13/07/2026 18:25

Who are all these people that immediately bin anything they haven't made or bought themselves? Sorry but unless you have food allergies I think that's incredibly weird, not to mention wasteful.

moltopianissimo · 13/07/2026 18:22

Naurrr · 13/07/2026 11:53

Cool. Doesn't change my reply.

So would you not eat a piece of someone's wedding cake that's boxed up for guests to take with them?

HideousKinky · 13/07/2026 16:30

sittingonabeach · 13/07/2026 14:18

Why? I assume with such extreme views no-one would offer you food

Do you eat at restaurants?

I am also curious to know if this poster eats in restaurants - if her reservations are to do with food hygiene, eating in restaurants is almost certainly more of a "risk" than cake which has been purchased at M&S

Ilovelifeverymuch · 13/07/2026 16:14

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 13/07/2026 13:32

“Bizarre and ungrateful”? It was half of a leftover cake you didn’t want anymore.

Get over yourself. I would be binning it.

What a weird comment 😂

Sharptonguedwoman · 13/07/2026 16:06

ImPamDoove · 13/07/2026 11:37

I don’t know. Someone bringing me their leftovers without asking if I wanted them first would annoy me. Cake would get thrown out here as we don’t eat it.

Send it here. We have no issues with cake.

DopamineDeficient · 13/07/2026 16:04

I have just looked at the cake and I am HIGHLY offended that you haven't given half to me. It looks delicious!

Wingwalk · 13/07/2026 15:44

Some of these responses are reminding me of this funny twitter exchange when some guy was moaning about socialism

Can cake really be offensive?
Bellyblueboy · 13/07/2026 15:38

Naurrr · 13/07/2026 11:41

I wouldn't be offended but I don't eat other people's leftovers, so it would be binned.

How odd. You wouldn’t eat a slice of cake that had already been cut?

how did this rule evolve? Does it apply to family?

I have never really thought of cake as leftovers! I live alone so if we have a birthday celebration at my house I send the birthday person home with the rest of the cake. Would you be offended by this? Throw the cake out beciase it’s left overs?

Bjorkdidit · 13/07/2026 15:33

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 13/07/2026 15:24

Not the point of the thread at all (n.b., OP, you did nothing wrong - but sometimes people get upset for reasons which are opaque), but I do like the useful guide to serving the cake:

Serving
Place cake on a flat surface. Carefully run a knife around the cake to release the buttercream. Remove collar. Slice using a sharp, long-bladed knife in a vertical direction. Repeat across cake. Turn cake 90 degrees, slice again in a vertical direction to create wedge shaped portions.
Clean knife blade between slices.

Gosh, without M & S guidance, I’d have never have known to cut wedges.

This is a shop that includes the instruction 'needs cooking' on packs of raw meat.

I wonder how many people have complained that their chicken was raw or their cake wasn't nicely sliced or gave them the stated number of portions before they included this information?

Threeboystwocatsandadog · 13/07/2026 15:28

My neighbour baked a Christmas cake as she had expected guests for Christmas which was cancelled (first year of Covid). She brought us half the cake as they wouldn’t finish it themselves and there are 5 of us. I was delighted. I can’t see how anyone would be funny about half a cake.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 13/07/2026 15:24

Not the point of the thread at all (n.b., OP, you did nothing wrong - but sometimes people get upset for reasons which are opaque), but I do like the useful guide to serving the cake:

Serving
Place cake on a flat surface. Carefully run a knife around the cake to release the buttercream. Remove collar. Slice using a sharp, long-bladed knife in a vertical direction. Repeat across cake. Turn cake 90 degrees, slice again in a vertical direction to create wedge shaped portions.
Clean knife blade between slices.

Gosh, without M & S guidance, I’d have never have known to cut wedges.

Whoops75 · 13/07/2026 15:23

I would offer first rather than give in the driveway when they can’t refuse.

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 13/07/2026 15:18

That's hilarious. No you didn't do a blind bit wrong and yes, it was a strange reaction. They obviously don't want to be brought cake then I guess. Id have loved it and I'm not particularly skinny

backformoreofthesame · 13/07/2026 15:16

I don’t think you are wrong BUT he would know his parents better and people can be odd

CordwainerBird · 13/07/2026 15:13

FrustratedApples · 13/07/2026 13:33

Cake is one food that isn't seen as leftovers - think party bags, slices of wedding cake sent to important guests who couldn't attend etc. What you did was kind and perfectly reasonable.

My immediate answer to the title of your thread was "only if there's something obscene piped on with icing". 🙂

I’d still eat a cake with a rude slogan on it 😅

Jellycatspyjamas · 13/07/2026 15:13

The red velvet cake in the same range is also absolutely glorious. I bought it for a birthday cake and yes, some sent to family members wrapped in a serviette and was gratefully received. Your in-laws are weird.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 13/07/2026 15:01

I mean the cake itself could be offensive if it was terrible, but it was delicious so not unreasonable at all. I always give my in-laws half the cake!

crystalego · 13/07/2026 15:01

I have a friend who randomly appears with a salad or casserole because herself and husband heading away for a night and it'll gor off otherwise. If we aren't there it gets left on the doorstep..
Her husband is an unbelievable cook and we love it.

Thats so lovely and I am jealous, none of my friends (including myself) are particularly great at cooking 😆

Goditsmemargaret · 13/07/2026 15:00

I have a friend who randomly appears with a salad or casserole because herself and husband heading away for a night and it'll gor off otherwise. If we aren't there it gets left on the doorstep..

Her husband is an unbelievable cook and we love it.

We would return the favour but he's so fussy he never lets anyone bring anything. We instead check what wine he is currently buying from the local wine shop and spring that on him instead.

ginasevern · 13/07/2026 14:58

I'm not sure your MIL should've been that grateful for left over cake, even if it was a very nice one. But your husband's comments were weird, given that your MIL appears not to be obsessed with her weight and up to now has happily chomped into cakes and pastries. Maybe she's shared her weight anxiety with him without your knowledge. But if that was the case then why didn't he just phrase it to you kindly so that you know for future.

nomas · 13/07/2026 14:53

TallSturdyGirls · 13/07/2026 14:30

What! I love leftovers. Nothing makes me happier than a decent doggy bag.

Or a dog-eat-dog bag.

MadinMarch · 13/07/2026 14:49

ThisWildHedgehog · 13/07/2026 11:45

I understand that. I didn’t even see it as ‘leftovers’ as we’d only had two slices from the cake. I gave them a full untouched half and it wasn’t even a day old. In my eyes it was sharing a treat 😥

I'd maybe take the fact she didn't tell you to take the cake away with you as a win...😀
You can't please all the people all of the time....

Nadilla · 13/07/2026 14:42

Indianajet · 13/07/2026 13:42

There are some very odd people in the world and quite a lot of them have posted on here.
Sharing a cake is not 'giving people leftovers" from their dinner!

They are family, not random strangers giving out cake in a bizarre fairy tale.

There are such precious behaviours on here. I don’t know how these ‘non-leftovers’ people cope with normal life. They are probably the same ones who have to wash their towels after every single use.