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Original poster

Would you go away if DC was unwell?

58 replies

LostittoBostik · 13/07/2026 03:38

I’ve had a rough year with DC being unwell (nothing serious, just lots of things) and I sort of knew this would happen.

have one night away planned mid week with friends. It’s been in the diary for over six months.

of course one child has woken up with a raging fever and there has been tonsillitis going round her class so I don’t think it’s going to be 24 hour thing (but we’ll see)

obviouslt her dad will be here but would you go anyway in that situation? In all honestly their dad is dismissive of illness in general and tbh I know I’d just be worrying all the time so tempted to cancel but I’m so frustrated as I get so little time away and to decompress. Life is just endless work and childcare and I was really looking forward to 36 hours of total me time

tbh either way it’s ruined now anyway as I won’t relax

I’m so fucked off

OP posts:
MickyMoonshine · 13/07/2026 08:22

It’s one night? Yeah I’d still go but my husband would be fine looking after our child so I wouldn’t need to worry at all. In fact, he’d insist I go just like I’ve insisted he go when we’ve been in a similar situation.

havingoneofthosedays · 13/07/2026 07:52

I’m astounded at these replies, your not leaving her with the local crack head are you? You did say she will be cared for by her father? Unless some massive drip feed why is he not capable of looking after his child who is a bit off colour?

AnonymityAnonymity · 13/07/2026 07:13

I think as it's only one night I think you should go. If it was for longer then that would be different.
I do that you need to have a serious discussion with your H though. Because you should be able to rely on him to step up in situations like this.

Lentilcakes · 13/07/2026 07:10

I’d see how she is at the last minute and make the decision then. I’d trust my DH though to look after her.

3xmonsters · 13/07/2026 07:08

Go! She has 2 parents!

UniquePinkSwan · 13/07/2026 06:46

Yes because DH is there

Meadowfinch · 13/07/2026 06:44

No, but then my ds' dad left him with an unwashed dog bite and a raging infection for four days, so I know he's an idiot who can't be trusted.

Your trip will be pointless if all you do is worry. Cancel, save yourself the stress and reorganise at another time.

PlumEagle · 13/07/2026 06:44

Personally I would also go, but my husband would be absolutely fine. This actually happened and tbh I still went.

Original poster
LostittoBostik · 13/07/2026 06:42

PersephoneParlormaid · 13/07/2026 06:41

Yes, go. If you were going away for work you’d still go.

I wouldn’t actually - that’s a much easier call for me. I love my job, but my kids come first.

OP posts:
Original poster
LostittoBostik · 13/07/2026 06:41

purplepuffa · 13/07/2026 06:04

I would be really annoyed and disappointed, like you, but no I wouldn't go.

I guess I feel like by having a child, which was my decision, I have signed up to things like this. I expect a certain number of things I want to do to be cancelled or postponed over the coming years because of my child and that's OK (I say somewhat begrudgingly 😂)

I'm kind of trying to mentally acknowledge that these years won't last forever, and at the other side of it I can have as much me time as I want.

It is bloody annoying when it happens though.

Yeah I do basically feel the same as this… but I am so frustrated as there have been a few things lately that have been scuppered. Was supposed to see a band I love last month and missed it as I was in hospital with my other DD. Anyway, as you say, this is always the risk with kids.

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 13/07/2026 06:41

Yes, go. If you were going away for work you’d still go.

Original poster
LostittoBostik · 13/07/2026 06:39

Zanatdy · 13/07/2026 06:06

It’s only one night. See how she is tomorrow then decide

Yes I’m not taking a call until tomorrow morning. Kids can do a total 180 in 24 hours, so fingers crossed!!

OP posts:
Original poster
LostittoBostik · 13/07/2026 06:39

whippersnapper55 · 13/07/2026 06:05

I probably wouldn't, because when my kids were ill, they'd always want me rather than dad! And I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy it.

Same, this is our situation. And I remember the odd time when my mum wasn’t there when I was ill when young and I hated it.

OP posts:
Waffleindahouse · 13/07/2026 06:22

I would totally go. It’s one night and the child isn’t incredibly poorly. Try to enjoy yourself without feeling guilty.

pepperminticecream · 13/07/2026 06:20

Would try to get her to GP to rule out need for antibiotics. If needed I would trust DH to give them to her and monitor the situation for 24 hours while I was gone.

DonewhatIcando · 13/07/2026 06:15

@LostittoBostik
If it was a couple of nights I probably wouldn't but it's one night.
Let DH handle it, sounds like you could do with a break.
Sorry if I've missed it but how old is DC?
You could ring or facetime.
The mum guilt is real but this has been booked a long time and probably not something you'll get a chance to do again for a long time.
If it was life threatening I obviously wouldn't go but even if its tonsillitis DH can cope.
You may worry whilst you're away but DC will be safe, looked after and you can stay in contact.

Shoola · 13/07/2026 06:11

I would probably go because it is really important that you don't always end up being the default parent for everything. My dad was the main carer when I was sick though, so that may be why I think it is fine to leave. My DH is also very conscientious when it comes to illness.

Zanatdy · 13/07/2026 06:06

It’s only one night. See how she is tomorrow then decide

whippersnapper55 · 13/07/2026 06:05

I probably wouldn't, because when my kids were ill, they'd always want me rather than dad! And I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy it.

purplepuffa · 13/07/2026 06:04

I would be really annoyed and disappointed, like you, but no I wouldn't go.

I guess I feel like by having a child, which was my decision, I have signed up to things like this. I expect a certain number of things I want to do to be cancelled or postponed over the coming years because of my child and that's OK (I say somewhat begrudgingly 😂)

I'm kind of trying to mentally acknowledge that these years won't last forever, and at the other side of it I can have as much me time as I want.

It is bloody annoying when it happens though.

Yennefer17 · 13/07/2026 06:00

I would go too.

nostyleandnoclothes · 13/07/2026 05:59

Personally no. My sister and brother in law wouldn’t question it though, in their world their needs come first!

nam3c4ang3 · 13/07/2026 05:56

I would go - but i know my husband would 100% be absolutely fine looking after them - if its a hospital thing then i would cancel...

Wallywobbles · 13/07/2026 05:30

It never stopped my parents. I can think of 3 hospital stays at that age with not even a visit from my parents.
My PIL would always come and pick up my kids when they were ill. They’d bring them back when they’d recovered. As a teacher I just wasn’t allowed to take the time off.
I’d happily do that for my kids/grandkids I think.
So yes, I’d go. They have their DF.

Lexibletheflexible · 13/07/2026 05:26

I'd go but then i know my partner would ensure they were well medicated and generally happy. Even though he wouldn't worship them at their sick bed like I might.