Would you go away if DC was unwell?

This is why so many dads end up useless. Let him parent his children and go have a good time. It’s a bug not a life threatening illness. Don’t make a rod for your own back, they’ll probably have a great time.

The main issue here is the ‘dismissive of illness’ thing.
What is that all about?

Totally agree

Of course I'd go.
My dc have two parents, both of whom are perfectly capable of looking after a poorly child for 36hours.

I would go

My DH is a competent parent.

She has 2 parents. If you trust dh to be able to look after her and hopefully you can or else why together

then go

its one night and dh can text you to say how she is

tho if is tonsillitis then get some antib from doc - it tastes rank but really helps. We had this

I would go. She's with her dad, she'll be fine.

Yes I would go, your DH is there.

I’m sure he is just as capable as giving pain relief as you, checking the temperature and keeping your child as hydrated as you are?

I would obviously be worried in a typical mum-way and would obviously be checking in, but if it was something I was really looking forward to with my friends and it was a really rare occurrence (which it sounds like it is for you) then I wouldn’t miss it when the other parent is there. It would be different if she was in hospital and hooked up to IV fluids and IV antibiotics, but she isn’t. Plus it’s only one night.

You’ll obviously be thinking of her but unless you are going to drip feed that her dad is useless and doesn’t know how to parent then I would just give her a big kiss and a cuddle, make sure the paracetamol/ibuprofen stash is stocked up, and then go and enjoy your night with your friends.

I would probably still go if it’s only an overnight thing, two nights away I might have cancelled but for one night I think I’d still go. I’d feel ill leaving them, but I’ve found it soon subsides once I’m out and about.

I would go. She’s with her dad.

Completely agree. Wouldn’t even be a discussion in our house. I’d be going and DH would just be a parent as he is every day.

I'd go away if I was leaving my dc with a caring parent or grandparent.

I had to leave my sick dc lots of times to go to work, I'd have lost my job otherwise.

Obviously I wouldn't have done if I was worried about the care they would get.

I think you should go.
Shes ill whether you go or not. DH can manage. If she’s mildly unwell then it doesn’t matter if DH is “dismissive “. It won’t do her any harm if she’s not being pandered to. If she’s too ill to do normal activities, that will become clear to DH. Leave sufficient medicine, show her how to gargle with salt, and be on your way.
You might worry about her, but you being at home won’t change anything, your presence isn’t going to cure her nor not. Her father will make sure she’s fed and watered.
It is OK to put yourself first. Your need for rest and relaxation is important. She’s not seriously ill.
Go and enjoy yourself. And don’t keep calling from a distance, let DH get on with it. Limit yourself to a couple of calls a day. DH will let you know if there is a real emergency. He will manage fine, as will DD.

Yes go. It’s good for all of you to go. Tell your DH he needs to be more aware and kinder, he’s never ever going to be a person for you to rely on if you just jump back in and ‘rescue’ him. Tell your kid they will manage and Daddy has their back and loves them. It’s good for your child to get on with things and be flexible.

and it’s good for you to learn you’re not the only one who can do things and good for you to go enjoy yourself.

I would go. DH is more than capable. I can, in fact, think of an occasion when we were all due to travel so that DM could have the DC and DH and I go to a party and DS2 got a vomiting virus. I took DS1 to DM and went on to the party solo (it was my friend). Stayed there, went to a museum with DS1 and DM then came home. Of course I checked in but DS2 and DH had spent the time watching cartoons.

Actually last time I was away, ds came down with a vomiting bug (while away at cubs camp an hour from home at 3am). About 7 of the 10 of them all started vomiting during the night. Bless the leader. 🙈 Dh went to collect him at 3am and his vomit soaked sleeping bag. And Dh was actually like, you don’t want to get sick too (I’m immunocompromised), do you want to book to stay away an extra night? I nearly did. Though by the end of my conference, I was exhausted and just wanted to come home, vomit pools or not.

I would go and DH would be encouraging me to. He would be perfectly capable of managing it

I was always a worrier when my kids were ill, so I’d probably have cancelled tbh. But my husband is just as capable of looking after them as I am.

Hear hear! Honestly, this site astonishes me sometimes. Wall to wall complaints about how utterly useless men are, but then these women are utter martyrs who won't advocate for themselves or take any time off. It's batshit.

Yes, of course. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean I wouldn’t leave her home alone, but obviously with another parent. I’ve been away when ds had a vomiting bug a few times and Dh was away at a wedding for a week when dd had chickenpox. It’s just one of those things. She has 2 parents and the one at home has to get on with it. The only exception would be if Dh had a job interview or was presenting at a work conference or something that truly could not be missed. If we couldn’t find someone to stay with them for those few hours, I would need to rearrange my travel to be there on that day.

Yes, I do. It's only 36 hours. I would feel differently (perhaps) if it's a week, but you deserve some time off. Its not as if the child is in danger. About time her father stepped up. Don't be a martyr and enjoy your time away.