AIBU to let my children use all inclusive on a group holiday?

Reminds me of a friend I had when my kids were small ... she had a child the same age and the mum was obsessed with this kids weight. She would ask me not to buy mine any dessert in restaurants or an ice cream on a day out.

Oh and she got really cross on a camping trip once when we stopped somewhere for lunch and I ordered a side of chips for my two to share with their sandwiches ... madness.

I short circuit too when I'm mindblown by the combination of someone's audacity and lack of logic. Double whammy!

I hope by now you've told the silly eejit his false economy is his own fault so just shurrup, suck it up and go to the supermarket to stock up on cheap supplies for his DC.

It's not fair to involve the children in this way. This is all on the BIL

Your BIL is being totally U.

His kids might be disappointed, but he needs to explain to them that he couldn't afford to go AI, and that it was a choice of going on holiday self catering or not at all.

He cannot demand that you don't let your kids do something that you have paid for.

As I read it you aren't the only ones in the group who booked AI? Has he asked the same of the other people who have AI bookings?

He needs to get himself to the local supermarket and stock up on drinks and snacks.

YANBU and your BIL is bonkers.

Does he not understand that your kids aren’t getting snacks for free or because they are favoured over his in some way, you’ve just already paid for them in advance? Why on earth would you not utilise it, does he think you donated £600 to the hotel from the goodness of your heart?

AI is great when you’ve got kids as you know in advance exactly what it’ll cost and it saves you having to get up with your card every time one of the kids wants a slushie because they can just get it themselves.

Theres perks to self catering too, such as popping to the local shop to get snacks which can work out cheaper in the long run… which he’s perfectly free to go and do!

For clarity, that was merely an observation on my part. I do not allow or not allow. I am more interested - in general, in how people communicate with other people in anonymous (or semi-anonymous) forums.

Fucknugget might be my favourite new word.

This is an interpersonal issue for the OP. She probably doesn't want to do anticapitalist activism on holiday and risk getting chucked off the resort or having her children's AI bands taken off them. You can be sceptical about the profiteering of corporations and also not want to ruin the holiday that you paid for because your BiL took the cheaper option. Not her problem to deal with; he needs to decide what to do now that not having AI is affecting his enjoyment. None of this is OP's issue, and she doesn't need to engage with it. I would be very clear about that if I were her.

As kids, we often holidayed with my aunt and uncle, who were wealthier than my parents, and they did not limit their children to what we could afford. They always had the nicer accommodation, more treats, money for the arcades or whatever, plus we were not allowed sweets and fizzy drinks and they could have unlimited amounts. I noticed but it honestly didn't bother me; I just accepted 'they have more money, and so have nicer things.' I have only happy memories of those holidays. So I feel this is BiL's ego, more than anything to do with his kids. If you take children to an AI resort and you pay SC, you already know you are going to have to say 'no' a lot, and that your kids will see other kids having unlimited amount of things you will only be able to afford a limited amount of. I have had this experience myself. My DD made friends with kids on an AI resort where we were SC, and I just explained, 'no, we are on a different package; you can't have what they are having; you can have one ice cream or the snacks from my bag.'

Obviously your kids can get whatever they want whenever they want. You’ve paid for it. And if it’s lots of frozen water that they’re getting, then that’s a good thing! I’d not be denying my kids all inclusive bloody water because someone else chose not to go AI when they went to an AI resort. They wanted to pay separately so they can pay separately.

Out of interest, is he also asking the same of the other friends that booked AI? 🤔

That does seem a rip off - anywhere i’ve been when we’ve changed our mind the upgrade has been the same at the point of arrival/check in as it would have been online. From £600 up to €2200 is horrendous, but I’d query that with the travel agent as they may have been able to get a better deal if they called them.

That said, if it was part of a deal at the time of booking, BiL was still being tight - as a simple back of the envelope calculation would have shown them that £75 quid a day for a family of 4 was a bargain.

I think you need to encourage them to go to the hotel reception and sign up for AI for the remaining days. They have made a poor decision but I presume the hotel will be happy to sign them up.

Some might call it daylight robbery 🙀

I opened this thread genuinely thinking you were letting your kids use the AI to get beers and cocktails! IF that was the case YABU but as it happens YANBU

I mean, yeah, as much as they can get away with really I suppose we’ve all got different thresholds
I remember being in Tesco’s one Christmas and some man stuffed a frozen turkey up his jumper and started running for the exit, and security started running after him. They cornered him.
They shouted hey lad what are you gonna do with that?
And the bloke with the turkey up his jumper turned around and said some carrots, potatoes, and a bit of gravy.
He left with the turkey
They might not have been quite so entertained if it would’ve been a tele up his Northface jacket

I think OP paid £600 in total! so yes £2000 is insane.

Thank you that’s very sweet of you to allow that

They think you should have paid hundreds more for nothing?
They are bonkers.

Of course you should allow them! It’s crazy of him to even suggest that?! It’s not your fault he decided not to pay for all inclusive. It’s not too late as he could get his kids on a plan. Tell your kids to go and enjoy themselves otherwise they’re going to think they’re being punished for something. What’s wrong with your BIL that he cannot put his hand in his pocket and buy his kids a slushie?!

No he doesn't want her kids going and getting drinks or ice creams. Cos then his will moan as presumably he doesn't want to get them the same amount!

I also liked the poster who suggested asking him if he'd been sniffing glue!

Honestly. He will never book non AI again lets be honest haha!

Odd isn’t it. My DC are now 18 and 21. AI was a godsend as it meant they could go and eat when they wished and develop independence. As they’ve got older it has meant they could go to the restaurant together earlier in the evening, get pizzas and burgers etc, and free myself and DH up to have 1-2-1 evenings in the smarter resort restaurants when on holiday.

We think this might be the last year of AI as my DH and I don’t really eat that much - like a nice breakfast and a lovely evening meal, but don’t bother with deserts etc and although we like to drink, we’re happy to skip a few nights of local prosecco. However, a meal out with wine and beers was €250, so we still think, on balance that AI may still be more cost effective even if you aren’t a load-your-plate-three-times and get-as-many-beers-as-you-can in kind of punter.