Is it too late for a third baby?

Gosh I think it is. Just because you still have your period doesn’t mean you can get pregnant (I had my last period at 56). I had my kids at 41 and 43 and a friend had a surprise baby at 46, but it’s very unlikely though not impossible.
But this whole wanting ‘to give’ your partner a baby? Not sure about that! Babies aren’t a reward or thank you. You don’t owe him a baby.

This update makes me think categorically no, op.

It's definitely not a choice I would make, I got sterilised during my c-section 2 years ago to prevent that happening, I was 35 at the time and it was the hardest pregnancy I've dealt with and I knew I couldn't physically go through it again, I feel at 47 you are better off focusing on the children you have rather than trying to have another, especially as given your age it likely won't be easy to conceive in the first place and could take a long time by which point you will be even older.

I did wonder when reading, before your last update if it was a second marriage. I get you want to “give him” a child but it would alter the dynamics of not only your relationship but also your life with your existing children. It may put too much pressure onto the relationship and being an older single mum of 3 would be exhausting. You will be in your 50s probably tired from perimenopause with a small child and teens. Your friends will be enjoying their free time with their children being more self sufficient.

Whilst not impossible and you may be lucky enough to not need IVF and have a pregnancy and birth without difficulties I don’t think it is the wisest decision for the whole family.

Even if it were biologically possible, I think 47 is too old to have a baby. I'm 45 with a three year old and I'm knackered. I love her but it's been tough. I have two and struggled against secondary infertility to have her at 42, naturally. No way would I have a third. Just enjoy the two children you already have.

I’m similar expect I’m 44 and DH is 49. A part of me would love another little one and I’d hate to look back and think I missed the chance to have one. But a bigger part knows it’s a bad idea for us. I find the kids I have full on and I enjoy the chance to do more me stuff. I go to the pub after work one day a week. I wouldn’t want to give stuff like that up to rush home to a very young child.
Then there s the thought of DH being nearly 70 with an 18 year old. And DH’s health isn’t great. And we are both very unfit.
And there s all the risk with AI etc the kids could be living with us forever!!
But for another couple with more energy etc it could well work all around.

I suppose its weighing up the positives of which there are many against the risk & uncertainty about the future.

The change of partner would make it more of a "no" for me, not less. That is so much for your kids to deal with.

I have kids the same age but am 43. It’s come into my mind a bit lately how nice it would be to have one more and how much my kids would love a younger sibling. But DH has had a vasectomy and is certain he doesn’t want any more so it’s a moot point really, and deep down I know it would be a bad idea and we’re realistically too old (he’s 45). But I understand how you feel.

Oh yes, well that’s not a stable position is it? You got back together recently, unmarried, could easily split again then you’d be a single mum again with a young child in your 50s.

NO!!! You are not married and if you split (again - he is your ex) you will be left holding the baby with nothing but whatever CMS can squeeze out of him. Don't do it!

People do it, some later than this. I always think of David and Victoria Coren Mitchell tbh, they had a baby recently in their 50s. I don’t know why anyone would want to do this. For me your 60s in particular should represent a gradual shift towards relaxation and a calmer pace of life, not ferrying a hormonal teenager around and dealing with tantrums.

You had the two you have fairly late as it is. I would say no, don’t do it. You may have loads of energy now but do you really want to be dealing with a young teen at 60? Is it even fair? Lots of people are fit and active in their 40s but health problems start to creep in in their 50s. I’m not saying it’s certain this will happen but why risk it.

just enjoy the kids you have. After all, you had them fairly late as it is.

Totally normal to feel this way. I still feel I missed out not having a third (DH didn’t want another) and I’m a bit older than you. At 47 it would likely not happen naturally anyway.

Can you afford it is the question.

Also, future. Solo mum with 3 kids?

I have 1. Hard enough.

Hi I had my 5th baby at 40, a friend had her 5th at 47 and another friend had her 2nd at 48. All totally unexpected not planned at all.
Totally anecdotal so I’m sure others will have maybe negative experiences.
All three of us have had very positive outcomes for our much loved daughters.
one is a lawyer, one a teacher and the other just starting out on her adult life.
All three of us were shocked at first, had the usual concerns but I have nothing negative to report at all.
I am 70 now and my DD and I are great friends. She enjoys spending time with us and I would say she is disappointed if she can’t make a social occasion we invite her to😂
my friends feel the same, the addition of an unexpected baby has been a pleasure for the whole family.

Yes! That's what I did but for other more practical reasons. There is something very special about being around the young if you are the type of person who gets it. Its so rewarding and fun. Also many women retrain in 30s and 40s. I had a trainee this year who is about 50. I trained mid 30s but didn't start work til 41.

@PrettyLittleRose Life doesn't always work out like that though does it? And not everybody wants two children before the age of 30. I had my first two at 26 and 29 and in retrospect, I'd have been best to live a bit of life first. I had my last at 39 and I was much better placed to be a present parent. I don't work full-time and have no intention of ever doing so.

For one of my friends, the DS she had at 44 was the last child of 4 so I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have had IVF to have a 4th child when she had 3 DC under 10. The other two friends I’ve been very close to since school and I think I’d definitely know.

That’s pretty lucky. But in any case, OP is already 47 and still deciding either way, so realistically it’s likely too late for her

Can't help feeling that they wouldn't need to work full time at nearly 60 if they hadn't had a baby at 44-45. Probably need to do so, to support having children at this age.

I had my 2 in my late 20s, and have been part time since the age of 30. (Now in my early-mid 50s, and will probably will retire at 60.) Having kids in my mid 40s and then still working FULL TIME at 60, is definitely not something I would ever have wanted to do, nor is it something to be envied IMO.

And you don't know for sure if they had IVF or not. Many people don't share this with everyone!

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@PrettyLittleRose If you'd have read ny post a little more carefully you would understand I was referring to people probably thinking I was mad for having a new baby when my other children were 11 and 13.
Couldn't care less what people might think.
And if they say it behind my back, then why not be brave ebough to say it to my face?

I had a surprise fourth child at 49, it was a big shock but went well (apart from gestational diabetes which I think is a family thing and went once I gave birth). I did have good support - supportive husband, energetic in-laws nearby and other children helped. I'm now 58 with an 8 year old who brings alot of joy, once I got on HRT my energy levels went back up and feel ok now although had a few years of feeling tired.

I am not someone who has a huge social circle but I personally have three friends who had babies at 44 or 45 - all conceived naturally without IVF. They are now between 56 and 60 and have DS of 12 to 15. They are all in perfect health, fit, working full time and they all look very young for their age

It’s not just the risk of foetal abnormalities, it’s the risk of maternal ill-health / complications to you of having a baby at 47/48z

You wouldn’t want to gamble with your existing children’s mother’s health. You are the only mum they’ll get - don’t risk that for a belated final roll of the dice for a currently non-existant 3rd child.