My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

Yep I think this is what I find so strange.

I feel relatively sure that if the mum had posted

“My adult daughter came round on Thursday. I had Hayfever so she passed me a pouch she keeps medication and make up in so I could find an antihistamine. She left it behind and as she hadn’t mentioned it in the 48 hours afterwards I assumed she didn’t want it and binned it. Now she’s messaged asking for it back. AIBU to tell her it’s her own fault for being so stupid and careless?”

The replies would rightfully be horrified, asking OP why she is so intolerant towards her own daughter making a simple mistake, why she didn’t text her about it asking if she wanted it back, and saying her daughter probably only left it behind in the first place because she’d removed it from her bag to give her medicine and help her out.

Not sure why the other way round is resulting in far more mixed responses!

Well, sure, but that doesn't mean any of us are wrong for wanting to be able to use a lipstick we'd bought.

From my pov, lipstick cases are plastic and can be washed in a way that I'd find sanitary, so that's what I'd do so I could still enjoy my lipstick. I'm not revolted by things like my kitchen pans and knives after they've touched raw chicken - I just wash them.

But I appreciate, other posters may have different incomes and priorities!

I think the op's mum is clearly not going to give her £150 so she needs to decide whether she wants to clean, replace or do without the items.

Right??! I can only imagine the sort of people who come out with such rubbish were born into extreme wealth. If I only bought things I could afford to buy twice, then that would rule out the weekly supermarket shop in the last week of the month, among many other non-negotiables. Utterly stupid phrase.

Are you got real? OMG.

🤔

I presume would still nurse you if you got sick and needed her help

I'm far from convinced. Deliberately throwing in the bin (not even chucking in a 'random stuff' basket out of sight in the cupboard under the stairs) the possessions of a known and supposedly loved person who accidentally left them there (incidentally after helping you by providing you with some medication that you needed) is an extremely clear way of demonstrating to them that they do not matter to you.

I've forgotten plenty of things in my life, and done everything I can to retrieve them. I've never expected anyone else to reimburse me.

Exactly! I don't think I've ever seen a thread with such horrible mean-spirited comments to the OP, without, in my opinion, any reason for such vitriol. I don't know what's got into some of the people on this thread. 😕

Sorry just seen you retrieved it - then ask her to replace

Are you 12? This is so bloody childish. You sound like my young kids refusing to take a mug to the kitchen as it wasn't their mug.

Except its worse, as it is actually is your stuff and you do actually want it back!.

Whatever OP. Stand on your imagined principle and never get your stuff or your money back. Your loss.

That’s so off but I would go though the bin. Or else tell her you can’t afford to replace it so she needs to.

I’m glad you retrieved it, I would have done the same.

I’m sorry it’s ruined.

If I was your mum I would give you at least half of the money towards it, but I guess her response will be that it was your fault for leaving it there.

Lets hope she never leaves anything at yours if she thinks it should just be thrown away.

I agree. It's the same crazy thinking that people come out with when they want to split a restaurant bill where they've had a big blow-out, so that they can have their bill subbed by somebody who ate and drank modestly: "You can't afford to buy something if you can't afford to also buy something else that's a lot more expensive (but weirdly I can afford to eat out when I'm relying on others to pay for a large amount of the exact things that I ordered and consumed)".

There was a thread a while back whereby the OP had left her Air Buds (is that what they're called - fancy expensive ear phones?) in an Air BnB in Paris; and the thread was full of people who were outraged that the business owner should charge for their/their staff's time in returning something to a different country, to somebody who knew that they were vacating a business premises to which they wouldn't be returning but hadn't bothered to give it a quick check over before leaving, anything above the cost of the postage - citing it as a very easy mistake to make, totally forgivable, to be expected.

Yet on this thread, there are people claiming that, if you leave personal items at your own parents' home - a place which you're clearly expecting to return to soon - it's entirely your own fault and nothing more than you deserve if they get summarily binned in with a load of rancid old food slops.

Your DM is making me so angry. I can’t believe you’ve had to do that and she thinks it’s funny and still won’t replace it?! It’s so disrespectful!

I would not be rummaging through the bin or reusing these items, not a hope.
Tell her to cough up. I would bring her to small claims court if she refused. It’ll teach her to respect people’s property. Why shouldn’t she replace it. I threw out a plastic bag a guest had left behind accidentally, someone had added rubbish, the bin was emptied that money. I paid for the lost items, and rightly so.

But nobody NEEDS lipstick at all. It's a product to help you boost your confidence as to how you look to the rest of the world, so how would that work if you knew that it had been soaked in slimy chicken juice?

I didn't say she deserved it. But if £100+ of my stuff was accidentally (or even purposely) but in the bin I would be looking for it, not "oh no my mum should because it's more her fault than mine". Well her mum was never going to was she!

I think it's weird that we identify it as a mental illness when people gather huge quantities of stuff in their houses; yet we don't do the same when people at the other end of the spectrum seem to have an abject fear of anything in their houses, even for a short time and owned by a known (supposed) loved one, that they don't instantly identify a personal need and want for - and just chuck it all in a bin.

Apart from anything else, even if she did genuinely have knowledge that you definitely no longer wanted any of those things, why would she bin them? Are people so privileged and self-absorbed that they bin perfectly good stuff, instead of dropping it off at a charity shop (and some of them leave a bag and collect from your doorstep) so that somebody can use it? Actually, yes, they are... you only have to see at the council tip, where all the well-off selfish people would rather drive there and throw away good furniture, toys and all manner of other good stuff rather than even consider a less privileged person/family having it.

I’ve raked through bins for items much less valuable 😂

Simple really. Don't stick the boot in and you'll be a much nicer person.

Jesus F#ck. Maybe so, but she doesn't deserve her stuff to be chucked in the bin, for God's Sake. Whatever happened to respecting other people's property?

I think your mum is awful

my dm or I always keep and give back stuff and my dcs do too, perfectly normal

also is there no separate food waste where she lives or is she too selfish to bother
?

plus the only reason you got pouch out was to help her out

Simple really. You should take better care of your own things.