My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

How do you know its been in the bin for three days, could have been in there for less than 24 hours.

If it’s really only the size of your hand, then it’s very different to the handbags that your mother leaves at your house.
You left the pouch, she cleared it one way or another. Drama over nothing.

I'd be telling your mum this is NOT funny and up to her to replace. If she refuses I'd probably keep a bit of a distance until I cooled down (unless she repented in the meantime!)

Read the updates.

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Not necessary.

Itsthewoluff She has looked and found it. Ruined and her mum thinks it's funny.

Yes she should replace it.
Yes, if she’s not going to replace it, then she should be the one looking in the bin.
But she won’t do either so you either suck it up or you look yourself.

However distasteful, I’d be looking myself. If it’s no good, it’s no good, but at least you’ve tried to salvage it and save money. You never know it might guilt her into coughing up the money to replace it all.

I agree with the pp who said the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

@nostyleandnoclothes you have a stronger stomach than I do. I work in the waste industry and I couldn’t have done what you did.

It's not exactly that you 'should' dig through the bin, but if the parent in question refused to do, that's your only option. I don't think your dad should have to.

I can't understand why you're getting such a hard time, I think people just want to argue! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm astonished your mum did this. My own DM is extraordinary at decluttering but she would never, ever in a million years chuck away something like that, because she has respect for other people's belongings. Honestly the same goes for everyone I know. My mil kept a manky bottle brush for 3 months because I left it behind and she thought I might need it. A bit extreme the other way tbf but she has respect for other people's belongings.

It would take me a long time to forget this if I'm honest.

Unlucky

Your mum sounds unhinged.

Ok, so it was an "accident" - so what are you supposed to do? Also, I assume you talked to her on the day it happened - and she did not suggest going to the bin to retrieve it? Your whole family have isses

Send her a list of the contents including the bag and the prices and tell her to either send you the money to replace them or order them herself!!

this isn’t something you can do on accident!!

The tablets will have been heated over their limit which is normally about 35c and the lip products have probably melted. My black recycling bin got hot enough in the sun to start melting a plastic bottle inside it. **

Then it's not so valuable to you, is it!
If it were important, you'd go searching. Or you're more like your parents than you want to let on.

Are you somebody who finds yourself having to regularly buy new spoons?

I agree, she knew what she was doing... and the fact that she was treating it all as a joke. Complete lack of respect. I think it was a really mean thing to do.

As if she wanted an excuse to tell you off for leaving something. Was she a bit jealous of your nice makeup or the fact that you buy yourself nice things?

Its expensive to replace but not outlandishly so at least. And as you say, some of it was old. There are offers on in Boots and superdrug and JL at the moment.

Well I guess you won't be visiting as much after this. Hope she enjoys her stupid joke.

I would let her know how much it was worth. Throwing something out by not checking because you don’t care, is very different to throwing something out inadvertently.

I have very little time for ‘More money than sense’ types.

I wouldn't want to be digging through my own bin let alone someone else's. Id ask for the money to replace everything, it a reasonable request

She owes you to replace it, it's damaged because of her carelessness.

And yeah, I'd be binning her stuff constantly after this.

It clearly wasn't an accident, otherwise she wouldn't have known she'd done it. She saw it, she knew what it was, she knew it was yours, and she chose to bin it. I'd literally be throwing her bag in the bin while she's there.

Your mum should definitely be replacing all the makeup and the bag and you should send her a list of it all. Especially since you have demonstrated that it is not salvageable by finding it. I would be very upset by this too. It's one thing to be frivolous with your own possessions but not things that belong to someone else. L

If I had thrown something away that was my daughter’s I would definitely be replacing everything. It’s just common decency and manners. If she doesn’t then she must be either very selfish or in a world of her own

Well if she won’t look for it then surely she should be offering to pay for it ? She’s your mother and she’s got money ? Does she not like you or what ? Could never imagine doing that to one of mine

Yes! I leave stuff lying around a lot as I am very easily distractible, but I still think it's my responsibility to look after my stuff, and I just keep on trying to get better at being organised and making little routines for the start or end of visits etc from home.

So, for example, I left something in a community space last week and when I realised, I WhatsApped to say what I had misplaced, and said that if it's gone it's not a problem but that otherwise I'll collect it at X time. And the other person replied to say it was already safe and waiting for me, which was great. But I'd prepared myself to suck up the loss, if necessary.

I'd definitely be more upset in the OP's case but our parents can have personal stuff going on too, that we might not know about yet. For the sake of the relationship (if the relationship is not dead in the water already) I think it's sometimes worth taking a step back and maybe having another 2-way sharing of issues when things have cooled down.

This is AIBU and people are sharing different perspectives. The OP can obviously take from it whatever is helpful and ignore the rest.

Maybe if she had t waited 3 days it wouldn't have been