My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

I find this whole thing absolutely bizarre. My mum is 84 but I know with complete certainty that if she had done this she would have retrieved it from the bin as soon as she realised. If she was not capable of doing this I'd have gone round with gloves and done it myself. Its really no big deal. The bag might need washing or chucking away but those sealed contents will be fine. If we were unable to find them my mum would 100% offer to pay. Also 5 lip sticks and 4 lip liners from SpaceNK will cost far more than £150 to replace.

Sorry but I would just pay for the new products myself. I don't understand why you would carry so many lipsticks around if they are that high value anyway.
Despite you now making a point of how much they mean to you, it's taken you several days to remember that you left the pouch behind.
Again is this carelessness any different to your parents throwing it out?

This. I think this is really odd behaviour, its really not normal to sweep a load of stuff into the bin without looking at it?

I mean this isnt a couple of junk mail flyers off the counter or endless kids 'art' being whizzed from the kitchen table its a makeup pouch, you wouldn't just sling it in the bin without a second thought, especially if you didnt recognise it as your own??

Id be taking your mum to the doctor OP and be quite concerned this is dementia

’i wasn’t careless!!! Have you ever been busy and something slipped your mind for a second?!’

BUT that’s exactly the same argument your mum could use!

YABU if you know where it is and CBA getting it. The Ake up is in a pouch. It will be fine. The pouch will need to be washed. It's not the end of the world.

Hi op

Your mum definitely should have offered to pay, what an odd thing to do!

Do you feel you can ask her?

Why on earth would that make any difference?

You were careless, she was careless, they’re there in the bin, one of you just needs to suck it up and get it back!

Exactly what I was thinking.

Absolutely ask your dad to look! Someone… anyone… just look in the bin 😂

Yes. No matter which one binned it. If you want it, go get it. Leaving it there is ridiculous. Just get the stuff out and assess.

You’re as bad as she is.

So your argument is OP should not bear the consequence of being careless with her own belongings by leaving them behind but her Mum should bear the consequence of being careless?

That’s not a very consistent position.

All the strange people on this thread saying variations of OP needs to ‘make’ her Mother but replacements (or go through the bin)

OPs mother has said No to this. OP has no ability to ‘make her.’

And yes she should be offering to replace everything. You shouldn't need to ask her to.

Absolutely this. Being careless with own belongings is one thing but throwing away others' stuff is unacceptable.

Agreed.

it’s also very common to be blasé about such incidents when questioned.

similarly with the dad at the airport - easier to buy a watch if you’re right there by the shops than to have to go back and try and explain

OP how old are your parents?

This is such a bizarre comment. What possible difference could this make?!

This makes me think even more that you may have a ND blame shifting mind. It’s desperately whirring to find a way to ‘blame’ others for their belief that you could check the bin.

Surely most people have accidentally thrown something out and had to look in the bin? I have, lots of times. Just put some rubber gloves on and get delving. I would.

I notice you don’t say, ‘I’m not ND’.

Are you? Because there is autism in my family and that of friends, and refusing to take responsibility and angrily blaming others, as you are, is quite a common autistic trait.

Is your Mother autistic? Because clearing up everything that is where rubbish is ( in your mother’s mind) regardless of whether or not it is rubbish, would also fit ND, if that is how your Mother’s mind compartmentalises.

If they’re wealthy enough to casually buy a new Apple Watch because they can’t be arsed walking back to airport security to retrieve one then yes, she absolutely needs to replace this. Send the link to the pouch and lip products and insist she does. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. It’s either that or she goes through the stinky bin.

In one breath you say you don't want to go look for this bag because what's the point? all the things in it will be either "melted" or contaminated in some way, but then you say you'd like your DM to dig through the rubbish bin to reclaim it for you? You've asked your DM to give you £ to the value of the lost goods and she's refused. So you've only two options left: go and reclaim the bag from the bin to see what you can salvage from it or chalk it up to a loss and replace the items yourself. (Or, I suppose, seeing as how your parents don't seem to mind things going missing from their house, go and steal an equivalent amount of goods from them!) What other kind of advice are you expecting to get from this thread?

You were careless too OP. You left your belongings behind. You left without checking you had something clearly important to you still with you. You were careless.

Your carelessness is not any better than hers.

There is no reason your carelessly should not face consequences,,but hers should. After all, if you had not left your pouche behind, your Mother would not have been able to grab it up with all the other waste. And after all, you yourself say you know your mother is like this.

Furthermore,you know your pouche is still there but refuse to retrieve it because ‘why should I have to when it’s not my fault?’ Well, it kinda is your fault in large part and it’s definitely your fault you won’t do the work of retrieving it. Not retrieving it yourself is a choice you are making. And you should bear the consequence of that choice, ie buying all the stuff again yourself.

Your whole attitude here is incredibly immature. Not accepting your responsibility in this situation, not accepting your responsibility in rectifying it, not accepting the consequence of not rectifying it and shifting the blame entirely and solely to your mother who entirely and solely must, in your mind, put it right.

The mature thing to do would be accept responsibility, and learn from this ( ie check you have your vital stuff on you before you leave anywhere).

What possible difference would that make?

Bizarre to throw out something that belongs to someone else but it’s easily fixed. If your mum won’t look in the bin you will have to.
If it’s covered in maggot juice leave it but at least look. If it’s ruined you ask her to pay to replace it.

Fuck it, I’ll get it from the bin for you. 😂