My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

The lipsticks probably aren't in direct contact with food waste. There will be lots of other stuff in there as well. The mother has such a flippant attitude to throwing stuff away that no doubt it is full of other unnecessarily discarded items.

No-one has any idea about the state of the lipsticks unless they are found from the bin. Chances are that they may still be usable or they may not be. To refuse to even look and assess is extremely wasteful (and expensive).

OP has said several times her parents don’t have a separate food waste collection

Take some responsibility for forgetting a personal item at your parents?

How odd

I think it’s a judgement call on what you find
we have separate food waste collection so no food in main bin nothing particularly dirt clean dry waste really

I think she need a common sense approach retrieve it if it’s smeared in the remains of a Sunday dinner bin it if it’s dry and reasonably clean salvage it
as strange as it sound with recycling bins and food waste bin our grey bin isn’t to rotting cess pit everyone else’s seems to be I’d fish it out

The vast majority of lipsticks say they should be used within 12months of opening, so surely they should have been binned anyway.

After saying that I’d be so angry at their attitude towards your belongings. I would ask her to replace the lipsticks.

I’m shocked there are so many people who would happily use lipsticks or take medication that has been in the bin with heat rotting food?! Disgusting 🤢

The whole debacle is really weird, and though you say she has no cognitive decline, it would make me wonder if perhaps she has been masking quite well - also, if you see her regularly, it can be difficult to notice these things as they creep up slowly.

I also wonder if her strange reaction (refusal to either look for it or replace at least some of the items) is further evidence of cognitive decline?

As for what I would expect in terms of reparation? If it was a friend or family member who had a lot more money than me (as, you say, in this case) then I would definitely hope to see the items replaced, or some effort towards this. (If it was someone poorer than me, I wouldn't insist.)

I have to say I am surprised at both of your attitudes towards looking in the rubbish, especially that you would rather lose £150 worth of goods than do so. I get that it isn't pleasant, but surely you could do plastic gloves, a face mask even..... Unless there is, I dunno, vomit or human excrement in there, I just don't see that it can be that bad.

Do you have a bit of a phobuc response to it perhaps? I know some people are beyond just a bit disgusted and actually can't touch certain things.... If so don't you have a friend or family member who could have a look? (I am the Dealer With Disgusting Things in my family, with my daughter looking set to inherit this role - recently she unflinchingly scooped up a decaying rat corpse on a spade because her dad couldn't go near it.). My point is, surely not everyone you know shares this litter-aversion? All this - the waste, the fall out with your mom - could be avoided by someone having a quick poke in there. The pitch probably needs to be disgaurded, but I imagine the contents are protected in there and all fine!

Tbh, I’d be quite upset that my mum didn’t care she’d thrown my stuff away. This sort of thing can happen by accident, but normally you apologise for accidents and do what you can to rectify it. In this case she should replace the items she carelessly threw away. As for rooting through the bin for it - I’m not particularly precious about germs but I wouldn’t be using make up which has been in a general waste bin for days!

'okay Mum, I appreciate it was an accident, but do you realise I can't afford to replace the contents all in one go?"

This way you have acknowledged her pov (however messed up!) and have very explicitly stated your own pov, which she appears oblivious to.

God you’ve had some weird responses on here OP! I’d say it’s very normal for things to occasionally get left behind, but not really that normal to throw something like a pouch (that isn’t yours!) away unless it sitting with a pile of rubbish?!

And YANBU for not wanting to dig it out of bin that includes food waste and has been baking in the sun for days! Ugh! No way would I do that unless it was something worth thousands of pounds… and definitely not for products I’m going to ingest or use on my lips.

Your mum should replace it! Is she aware the contents were worth £150, and that’s a decent amount of money to you?

I don't get this concept that accidents just happen out of the blue with no fault and therefore no need to compensate. It's something you see quite often on MN when someone asks whether someone else should compensate for causing damage.

No-one suggests she did this deliberately. Nevertheless, it wouldn't have happened if she had been paying minimal attention. She could go and rescue your stuff but doesn't want to, and that isn't accidental either. If she's as happy-go-lucky with her money as you say, I don't get what the problem is with compensating you.

This is one of the most batshit posts I’ve ever read on here.
Just go and get your stuff OP ffs, you don’t even know it’s covered in food at this point, you are assuming it is but it might not be. Then either sanitise it or chuck it again.
You and you mum sound ridiculously entitled and childish. Just deal with it or stop whining.

The quickest solution would be to retrieve the lipsticks from the bin. The alternative is dragging out the issue much longer than it needs to be. It will take time and hassle for you to get a replacement.

Looking for it in the bin is the simplest thing to do. Going through bins is horrible for everyone but we have all done it!

Because you want your stuff back. And its a very simple solution. Christ almighty, it doesnt have to be so hard. It cant escape you how very like your parents you are!!

How can it be an accident to put your daughter’s belongings in the bin? So she saw it in a table and ‘swept’ it up with some rubbish? Doesn’t make sense to me!
I never throw my adult DCs stuff away unless it’s obviously rubbish like a cardboard box from a delivery.
Def get her to replace the bag and its contents.

What else was on the sofa that she had to scoop up? Surely she saw it was your bag. Sounds deliberate to me

Lipsticks last for years. The only cosmetic I replace more often is mascara. Manufacturers encourage replacement far too quickly, in my opinion.

It’s on her. Either she retrieves it from the bin or pays you the 150- this is her choice. Make sure she realises she has to replace or pay you

I would imagine the cosmetics have an expiry of about a year anyway.

There is something just really odd about the whole thing.

“I realised tonight it’s missing as I’ve gone through my bag ahead of work tomorrow and she’s admitted that she has thrown it away.“

She’s “admitted” she threw it away? How did that conversation go?

“No daughter, sorry I haven’t seen it here since you gave me the medication, but I guess it’s possible it was thrown away when I was cleaning”

or

”Yes daughter, I saw you had left it behind and, rather than phone and tell you that, I put it in the bin”

Your mum doesn't sound very nice. You only got your pouch out to find some tablets for her and as she is the one who threw it away and as is is very wealthy (and I assume that you are not), I can't imagine why she wouldn't replace the items or give you the money so that you can do so.

I would be mortified if I'd done this to one of my adult kids and would definitely give them the money to replace it.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to have her to replace it if she's not willing to fish it out of the bin for you, seeing as she's the one who put it there.

If she's got money to spare, and it sounds like she has, then it shouldn't be a problem.

Agreed.

Also - there is no 'away'. Everything goes somewhere. Even if everything in the bag was useless the medications should have gone to the chemist, empty cosmetic packaging should be recycled or go to the right recycling place and the bag could have gone to a charity shop.

People are so wasteful. No wonder the world is in a state.

Haven't most of us had to fish through bin contents to try to find something? I definitely have, many times!

Just mask up, glove up and have a look through the bin! I really can't understand why you are refusing to do this. There are much worse jobs that have to be done sometimes (eg clearing up sick!).