My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

I can't believe the people calling OP 'careless' for putting her possessions on the side in her parents' house.

It's not like leaving something valuable unattended and on show in public and being surprised when some random low-life thief runs off with it; it's her parents!!

Won't they be in the pouch and then enclosed in their own constaners. Can't see what em would be in the bin to contaminate it. Have you actually bothered looking?

And how do suggest OP facilitates that?

Strong arm her mother into going through the bin?

Small debt action for the cost of replacements?

Some of these replies are as ridiculous as the OP and her mother.

This actually sounds abusive - throwing your spouse's possesions in the bin and leaving them to have to rifle through rubbish to retrieve them.

And supposedly 'not seeing the problem' in throwing away anything that YOU don't personally want but which belongs to somebody whom you're supposed to care about is a real red flag.

It's like a human equivalent of throwing a bucket of food slops to a load of pigs: something that you personally find disgusting, but 'it's good enough for them'.

I don't buy the "whoops, I must have thrown it away!" excuse. How often does he 'accidentally' throw away his own very-obviously-not-rubbish possessions in the bin?

I can't understand these responses. My parents and I accidentally leave things at each others houses all the time. No one goes around randomly throwing away other people's stuff without checking. Totally reasonable that they rectify this however they prefer - extracting stuff from the bin and seeing if it's salvageable or buying new.

Are you positive certain sure she hasn't simply taken it for her own use?

OP, despite what some people are saying you and your mother are not as bad as each other. What she did was totally bizarre. What she should do is search for the bag in the bin. Or replace everything like for like. But, if she refuses to do either of those things, you can’t compel her to do so.

In the face of such refusal then I do think you are unreasonable not to don some gloves and a mask and go through the bin yourself. Your insistence that the items inside the bag would be ruined is also unreasonable. Though the bag is probably not salvageable its contents almost certainly will be.

So, you should not have to go through the bin. But if she won’t do it then I think you are mad not to do so; to get your things back.

She sounds incredibly annoying and I’d be very pissed off by this. Message her and tell her to transfer £200 so that you can replace your bag and missing items.

She’s the one who threw it away instead of putting it to one side for you - like any normal mum would do!

I’d be absolutely mortified if I was the mum in this case and be offering to take DD on a shopping trip.

Really wasteful people who dont give a fuck

Who ‘sweeps’ a load of stuff into a bin as the norm, is that even a thing? And especially not even looking at what you’re sweeping in.

Your mother isn't going thru the bin and isn't going to replace stuff for you. You have the choice:

• go thru the bin and maybe salvage something
• not go thru the bin.

I am not saying she is in the right or that she shouldn't go thru the bin herself/replace stuff or not (as it was an accident, she says) . I am pointing out your real life options. You cannot MAKE her do anything. All you can do is decide how you act now (go thru bin or leave it) and in future (tidy away your stuff immediately, never stay there again, throw away her stuff, ....😉)

I think it depends on your relationship with your mother and both of your personalities. If it was my Mum there’s no way I’d ask her to pay and if she offered to pay I’d refuse to take it. I would however be very concerned about her mental state as that is not normal behaviour. My concern would be with my mother rather than thinking of the money I’d lost.

This is so petulant.

if she left her handbag here as she’s been known to do

No cognitive issues 🤔

I would go back to DM and tell her it wasnt an accident it was carelessness, they are different. She can be careless with her own things but not with yours.

She needs to solve the problem she created.

In that case it’s 50/50 if it’s ruined or not
until you look you don’t know

I would be tempted to pretend to do this

I absolutely cannot believe she is refusing to replace your stuff that SHE threw away! She’s completely out of order and no, you shouldn’t be rooting around in the bin for it!

I dropped something in my kitchen bin by accident the other day and tried to retrieve it, it was heavy and had gone to the bottom and there was maggots in there 🤢 I chucked the whole thing away and replaced the item in the end. It was only £5 though.

It has to be retrieved by Wednesday and the sooner you do it, the less nasty it is.

Does noone else think mum has just nicked the bag and then lied about the bin? I haven't rtft, just ops replies it doesn't seem to have come up yet. That would be my first thought to be honest!

She’s lying, no one does that

Where does she live? I'll dig 'em out for you.
It's not that bad a task.
Quickly tip out the contents and bin the fabric bag. A sandwich bag will do till you can get home and wash your items.

This. No sympathy if you can’t be bothered to look.

You are both as bad as each other

you left it. She chucked it

you won’t go and try and retrieve it

yes going through a bin isn’t nice but gloves

all the stuff will be inside the pouch clean and un damaged

maybe need a new purse /bag or might be able to wash it

but to not even try is madness