AIBU to find my husband's early-morning visit to our friend fishy?

The fact he's disappearing off to her house at the crack of dawn and lying to his wife about where he is for starters.

If you think it's healthy to behave like that in your own marriage, do carry on.

However your implication that others are killjoys for holding their partners to higher standards of honesty and integrity? GTFO.

Overnight oats. WTAF. Least likely gift to tempt you into an affair.

I would ask Cathy. Asking your partner is a waste of time, he is already being evasive, speak to her, face to face. The longer you leave it, the worse it will become forever you.

I second that.

Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy
I've come home, I'm so cold
Let me oats in my window

Apologies to the OP but this reply made me lol and wake my husband who was gently snoring in bed beside me 🫣🤣

WeeJay is actually called Cathy

What does Fishy say

Overnight oats on a windowsill sounds like something Bob Mortimer would come up with.

So long as it was the crack of Dawn and not the crack of Cathy.

My ex was messaging one of my neighbours and best friends for months - around 50 texts a week.
When I found out, I confronted her after I’d confronted him.
Side note: I’d been confiding in her for months as I was convinced he was having an affair because of his weird behaviour with his phone.
She’d had the opportunity to tell me that I had nothing to worry about as it was just her ‘being a good friend to him’ …but chose him over our friendship and watched me crumbling into despair.
They both denied anything had been going on.
Unbelievably she told me she ‘couldn’t believe I didn’t trust her’ !!!
They’d both deleted all the texts.
I should have kicked him out then.. his behaviour just got worse over the years after that and he said it was my fault that she (and her family) were no longer friends with our family…!
So trust your gut. If his behaviour is out of character, then you could speak to her about it.
But be on your guard - if she’s a narcissist, she’ll lie. She won’t get ‘girl code’ and you’ll be the one who’s humiliated.
You could confront your husband with your suspicions - but be prepared that he might lie too.
Trust your gut.
And don’t trust them.

Surely this early run and meet up with a friend were planned, so the thing that would piss me off is him not telling me the day before that he would be going out at the crack of dawn and coming back several hours later.

Ha ha I forget people use smart watches 👍

Will anyone else be able to spot all the secret mumsnetters in the office tomorrow as they all suddenly have overnight oats instead of toast for breakfast as this thread has made them crave them?!

Sorry OP but he’s been sowing his early morning oats

If you record a run on a running watch, it will upload to Strava as soon as the watch syncs to the phone

This! If he left the phone there how could it record his run?????

“And I say who were you with this morning? (At this point I think he’s clocked I know) so he says ‘Cathy’ and I say ‘you were at her house?’ He sounds a bit panicked and says ‘I just left my phone there while we were out running.’”

I just found it odd that he said this but then the run’s on Strava. So he did have his phone on the run? Or has he added the run later manually or something?

That said, he’s a bit crap at having secret affairs if he blatantly drives to meet the person at 6am in the morning! Her becoming single might have changed the way he feels, even if unconsciously

FFS

But what is wrong with a little bit of a flirt or crush? We only live once and it is soon over.

Hmm. Keep an eye on whether he turns the tracking off!!

it’s good he can see from your POV by using an example the other way around. Maybe it’s the start of a little crush and he just didn’t think….maybe I’m being naive. But I’m hoping you’ve nipped it in the bud and it stops there.

When a guy is cheating, somehow, because they're all stupid, her NAME will come up in the conversation, multiple times. Guys find it impossible to Lie. You will find that her NAME keeps popping up in his conversations. It's not Rocket Science. ....Looks like it's already started. I should pay Cathy a visit. And warn her to back off your Man.

Have just realised you said he dropped his bag at his which makes more sense, but not telling you he’d planned to see her beforehand does not!

Completely reasonable of you. The shady hiding behaviour is incredibly gross from him. Clearly a 6am run is planned in advance so seems weird to me to not tell you about it the night before, and not mention when you called. Frankly even leaving his phone at hers seems weird at this point and makes me question whether he wanted an excuse to go back there. Bleugh. Why are men so pathetic sometimes 🤮 sorry girl, hopefully just a passing moment of stupidity from him!

I'd assume it was some sort of sick joke that my ex had put him up to tbh