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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find my husband's early-morning visit to our friend fishy?

338 replies

Weejayy · 12/07/2026 20:27

My husband and I have a lovely female mutual friend, who we will call Cathy.

My husband (31m) left her some overnight oats on her windowsill after finding out she’d been through a bad break up. Sweet thing to do. He didn’t tell me about it but she did later and I was like oh, ok, maybe it just slipped his mind.

Then yesterday morning I wake up at 6am and my husband isn’t anywhere in the house. I get on with my day and assume he’s just on a run. At 9am I start getting worried that he’s not back so I give him a call. No answer. So I check find my friends and discover he’s at Cathy’s address.

Cathy and him have a running group together so I sort of assume the group have all gone running together and are having brunch.

I give him another call to let him know I’m taking the car and when I’m likely to be back from meeting friends. I ask him about his morning and what he’s been doing, sort of expecting he’d say he’d had a good run with the group.

He says he’s been getting on with his day. I say oh, ok, where did you go? (I was slightly bummed he hadn’t sent a courtesy text that he’d be out). He answers with the name of our nearest city. I said oh ok, who are you with? (Still thinking I’d get news from our friends but now feeling a bit weird that he isn’t really giving a straight answer)
he says he’s on his own. (at this point I’m plain suspicious) so I ask him, so where in [name of our city] are you? He says oh, you know, around [name of city] I go yes but where? He replies with the name of a side road I wouldn’t recognise. And I say who were you with this morning? (At this point I think he’s clocked I know) so he says ‘Cathy’ and I say ‘you were at her house?’ He sounds a bit panicked and says ‘I just left my phone there while we were out running.’
at which point I go ‘ok, I think that’s all I need to know.’

technnically, none of this is lying and they may well have just gone on a run together and the rest of group didn’t show up. But am I being unreasonable for finding the cover up to this whole thing a bit fishy? Like why didn’t he just tell me straight?

OP posts:
60degreecycle · 12/07/2026 20:37

His overnight oats must be pretty good. Having to pull that out of him with several questions is odd, you're not being unreasonable, I'd be on full alert and I'm pretty relaxed about this stuff.

Lying by omission is a thing.

Nousernameideaaga · 12/07/2026 20:37

Trust your gut

Weejayy · 12/07/2026 20:37

superspideysense · 12/07/2026 20:34

Sounds very dodgy. Sorry OP.

how long have you known Cathy??

I think I’ve known her five years. She’s genuinely a lovely person and I’m struggling to wrap my head around her having anything to do with a married man. Though I do think this whole thing is weird.

OP posts:
overnightangel · 12/07/2026 20:37

Guilty as sin

blubberyboo · 12/07/2026 20:35

What’s the bet he will soon switch off his location in future as his signal is faulty or some shit

AnonymityAnonymity · 12/07/2026 20:35

He was quick off the mark to make his move after she broke up with her previous partner OP.

TheBlueKoala · 12/07/2026 20:34

Sorry but this sounds really bad..

superspideysense · 12/07/2026 20:34

Sounds very dodgy. Sorry OP.

how long have you known Cathy??

MouldEight · 12/07/2026 20:33

ToddlerHostage · 12/07/2026 20:30

He’s definitely off sowing his wild overnight oats.

If he was, would Cathy have told OP about them?

TheClocksFast · 12/07/2026 20:33

That didn’t take him long.

Pinkflamingo10 · 12/07/2026 20:32

Sorry but he didn’t tell you straight because they’re 100% having an affair

ToddlerHostage · 12/07/2026 20:30

He’s definitely off sowing his wild overnight oats.

RudolphTheReindeer · 12/07/2026 20:30

Sorry op, I clicked yabu as I tried to scroll and can't change it. i actually think Yanbu.