India – loved it, but I came back feeling so violated.

I'm sorry, but a man needs to be masculine and assert his authority to protect his family, especially in places like India.

Yeah, I live in Nepal and never had any issues here. I know some people do, and I am reasonably cautious, but I don't think it's on anything like the same scale as some places. I never get hassle to buy things either - a younger friend who visited said she did, but I never have, maybe because I usually have kids with me.

I know that visiting the Golden Triangle is probably a ‘cool’ thing to do.
To chat about it at dinner parties - if you’ve got more money than sense ..
if you do a quick google - 1 million people in India go missing each year. 65% of those are women and children.

A western woman alone is considered fair game particularly if not modestly dressed. I was there for work (a few years ago now) so was pretty much protected by being with Indian male colleagues or other brits working out there most of the time, the worst problem I had was more persistent beggars and getting conned in the streets. These things do take the shine off though.

Think about it. If people just crowd around you doing this to you, how do you actually stop them? It's not "posing," she never said that, but you are very brave and competent in the abstract, aren't you? If you say no and they won't stop, and there's way more of them than of you, what do you do? OP's husband doesn't sound like he was much use but he may have been nervous or is not that assertive, not every man is.

You think it is normal for a child to see her mother groped? She might not have questions about it? Weird world you live in.

Wow. Sorry this happened to you OP. I’ve always wanted to visit but this thread and all the other accounts, has def made me think twice, even to go with my husband. I’ve experienced some of this is N.Africa but not to this extent. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I fail to understand why India is romanticised, especially with the overwhelmingly high number of accounts of women being abused on their 'holiday'.

Completely agree. My own dd would not be going, no matter how many of her friends were. A trip to India has far far more risks than 'positive experiences'.

I would also use to opportunity to explain why countries like India are so unsafe for women and girls.

This need to explore parts of the world that pose such threats, needs to be frowned upon now. I have not encouraged the wanderlust I had, with my own dds. Whether things have changed for the worse or not, we are much more aware now than we were 20 plus years ago.

I wouldn't entertain the idea of my daughter asking to visit India.

Experiences can be had in safer countries.

Why on earth does she sound 'shockingly naive for a 12 year old'?

Why didn't your husband tell the men to leave you alone?

These savage men now have pictures of you on their phones.

Ludicrous.

I have been to India 5 times between rhe ages of 20-41 (and would love to go back). I had an amazing time each trip - travelling all over the country.

And please check in on your daughter that she wasn’t groped / assulted too.
she may not know what is acceptable or not - because of you & your husband’s reactions / behaviour.

I got seriously sexually assaulted in Spain as a grown adult, sober, early evening by someone from another part of Britain who was definitely white British. Rather not say where from, just another part of the UK.

Oh god... don't let her go, please.

She can have many wonderful experiences elsewhere. Not going to a country where her rape would be seen as acceptable will not hinder her in the slightest.

Just re -read your post & saw the bit about you posing for photos with strangers / men lining up & putting their arms around you - while your husband just looked awkward.
Was your 12 year old daughter there with you at this time?
Good grief. Please sit down with your daughter & talk about safety & women.
What an example to set to her. 😱
You were basically allowing yourself to be an object.
And your husband was allowing it too.
Your poor daughter .

I'm sorry you experienced that. I have only been to Agadir twice. My god, the people are more amazing than us Scots. We went from the biggest souk to rural parts. People (mainly men) cannot do enough to help you. Locals on the beaches, smiling and being friendly.
My dd loves Agadir and her people, so wants to learn Arabic (not French 😂) so she can move there, eventually 😂

I saw a woman had to pepepr spray a migrant man when he refused to stop following her.

You can’t put Spain in the same basket. I don’t think local men harass women in streets. There are a lot of immigrants from Pakistan, Morocco in Barcelona, selling beer in streets.

My daughter's school are in the process of organising a World Challenge trip to India and I'm really not keen on her going. We are avid travellers but India is somewhere I've never wanted to go for these reasons. I'm really torn because I want her to have this experience but just wish they'd picked somewhere different.

Went to India 30 years ago...same thing happened to me and never wanted to go back and I have since lived and worked in different cultures all over the world.
Only time it happened again...very tight NY crowd trying to get to train at Waterloo in London a couple of years ago. Lots of young Indian men, I could tell that they were not British born (somebody will probably flame me for this comment). They were doing it to the girls in the crowd and pushing themselves against them taking advantage of it being so tight. The girls looked mortified. I called them out on it and they just pleaded ignorance and grinned.
Nothing has changed in their mentality in 30 years.

No your not being unreasonable OP, and India is on a list of countries I would never ever visit

I travelled to India with a friend and paid extra for a trip which had a male tour guide with us the entire time. It seemed to do the trick in keeping most of the men at the tourist places at bay. I wouldn’t be comfortable travelling in India alone at all, and the few times
we went out of our hotels for walks without a guide the male entitlement we met was off the charts, it was a constant barrage of haranguing.

It is a shame as the OP is right that the history and beauty of the country itself are amazing.