AIBU to be surprised DH would stay single after a split?

Of course he's saying that now.

I was the "perfect parent" prior to actually being one! its one of those things you say because you arent in that situation

YABU to believe him.

The single dads I know absolutely do put their children first. They do date sometimes when they don't have the kids but that's casual. One of them was in a longer relationship with a single mum but that was more of a FWB as it suited them both.

What was he supposed to say.

"I'd climb into bed with your sister before the front door was closed behind you" 🤣🤣

What was he supposed to say.

"Oh darling if we ever split up I would be on tinder before the ink even dried on the divorce papers. I would shag multiple women per week, and eventually remarry when I had done shagging around".

OP, do you actually think it would be the case, or is he saying it because he thinks that's what you want to hear?

It’s just words.

My dh says the same said he couldn’t be bothered and would never join a dating app 🤷‍♀️

YABU to take any notice of a hypothetical conversation.

I know scores of women and men who are adamant they wouldn't want to meet anyone else, until they do.

No-one knows what the future holds or who they may end up falling in love with.

I’ve said this exact same thing. No interest at all in finding a new partner if DH and I ever break up.

I doubt it.

Hope it never happens to the OP.

It sounds like one of those tiktok videos where the womans only asking to start an argument 😂

I believe your dh for all the exact reasons. No 1 being , no way am I ever taking on anyone else’s kids or sharing my kids home with them. No way will my kids be forced to spend time with and their home with random kids. His thought process is exactly what I would say, so I do believe him.

I think you're both being unreasonable to think an answer to this question can really be predicted in advance.

For one, relationships break up in different ways. Sometimes the relationship has lacked any kind of intimacy for a long time before the separation, so the actual break feels like it happened way before it actually did. Emotionally, you may be craving connection because you've already grieved the loss of your previous relationship.

Another thing is what you envisage relationships will look like and how the reality can differ. He might be thinking that he won't be rushing into the kind of entanglement you have with each other now. The kind of thing you likely built as two single, childless people because you both desired the marriage/house/kids traditional life.

You'll never be those people again. So in the future, you may find that a live apart long term relationship where you arent a blended family isn't as unattractive as you assume to people your (current) age. When you find that actually there isnt the pressure to "blend", it makes at least some relationships seem more of a possibility without getting in the way of the parenting standards you set for yourself.

Well, I can't give you a man's 💪 opinion but a few years back me and then (D)H had a conversation that involved me saying if we ever split up the kids wouldn't have a stepdad, I would remain single. I definitely meant it. A few years on we have split up. He has a girlfriend, I've remained single. And plan to keep it that way.

I don’t think that what someone says they’ll do in that situation is that reliable. Not that he’s lying, just that right now, while he’s still happily in love with you, he probably does think “nah I wouldn’t want another partner”.
If you break up, he’s got the children probably a max of 50% of the time and is otherwise living alone, he may feel differently.