AIBU to be surprised DH would stay single after a split?

He’s saying what he thinks you want to hear - no more no less.
You have a very canny husband.

He's talking bullshit, probably because that's what you want to hear. I'd believe it far more from a woman but not a bloke. Of course he'll want to get laid, men always do and it generally comes before their kids and anything else for that matter. There's also the question of their ginormous egos. First look from a woman and it will confirm that he's the god's gift he always suspected he was.

DH was single for years after his first divorce, and pretty sure he wouldn’t be bothered finding a new girlfriend with any haste if we split up. I probably add more work to his life than if we weren’t together anyway so he’d probably enjoy cooking what he wants just for him and not having to clean up after me anyway 😂

Don’t we all say we couldn’t be arsed? We certainly do, but we’re over 50 and would feel too old to start dating anyone. It doesn’t really mean anything hypothetically anyway.

Who knows what any of us would do ?

Based on personalities, I'd want a new partner a lot less, and my husband would want a new partner sooner.

But also based on personalities, I make friends quicker and organise my time better. I expect I'd pick someone up faster.

I'd never have another child or shack up though, whereas I imagine he would.

I couldn't see myself getting into a relationship for a good few years if DP and I ever split up. And that's without having to worry about how kids would deal with it, DD is an adult, about to bugger off to uni.

That's not to say I wouldn't date at all, a FWB situation would be alright, but the idea of being selfish for a few years is nice, not have to arrange life around another person.

My ex H hasn't been in a relationship since we split up seven years ago. I think he had a brief fling with someone once, but that was it

I’m not really sure why you’re having this conversation, he can’t win either way?
But I do know my ex said he’d always seen himself as being single and living alone (when we were discussing moving in together). He also said if he couldn’t make it work with me he didn’t want anyone else. As soon as I left him he got together with one of the other mums from our respective DC’s school.
What people say and what they do are usually very different.

Why do you think all relationships involve those things?

I have exactly the same thought process but I’m surprised to hear it from a man tbh.

Hmm I think he's just telling you what he thinks you want to hear! The reality is most men don't stay single for long 🤷‍♀️

I dont think I could be arsed either, I’m old enough not to crave sex, have a ton of friends and there is not a chance in a billion I’d blend families- honestly that is my room 101.

He’s talking shite and saying what he thinks you want to hear.

Agreed. He is saying this (and I don’t doubt that he believes it currently) from a place of someone who’s in a happy and stable marriage / life situation..
If he found himself in this situation I’d be amazed if he stayed single. Most men don’t.

Well done to DH for thinking of DC instead of himself.

Why you'd have this conversation with a DH when you're not having any problems, I've no idea, its never going to end well, there is no right answer, and a huge risk of causing argument for a fictitious scenario. Someone is always going to get pissed of with an answer, accusations flow, animosity. Just why?

I've been single since we broke up in 2015.
If my ex has had a relationship since, it must be with a phantom, so I believe he's been single too. According to him, he has enough stress in his life, so has no room for extra people.

Not everyone has the capacity for extra people, so maybe he genuinely believes this.

You are being unreasonable to expect your DH to know what he would do in an unknown situation which may or may not happen. You are also being quite naive here - if his first thoughts were that he would ask for a date with his secretary/colleague/mates sister etc , do you think he would tell you ?

If you believe that you'll believe anything.

My ex husband stood in the kitchen in floods of tears when we were divorcing that he couldn't bear not to see DC every day, he simply couldn't bear it...breaking his heart it was. I said I would make him a promise that I would never stand in his way of seeing the children at any time, and I have kept it.

Fast forward six months, he was hardly to be seen, very very busy with his new GF now wife, suddenly not quite so heartbroken after all. He has never asked to have them on Father's day once, off on lots of very nice child free holidays several times a year, and has them when he's not busy with his new life.

Time, the great healer!

I'm a widow and when I started dating I had countless people say to me, "if my husband/wife died I wouldn't want to meet someone else, I'd stay single forever", and I see it online all the time too. And to be fair I'd have said the same before I was widowed. But when you are actually faced with it, it doesn't look or feel anything like you thought it would, and your perspective is completely upended. And I imagine it would be the same if you ever did split up.

Take comfort in the fact that he probably isn't seriously thinking about it, because it sounds like it's a very abstract concept to him!

My ex hasn’t met anyone and I doubt he intends to. We still get on well, and I think probably he’d have been perfectly happy single for his whole life.

I am single for the same reasons he cited - CBA plus impact on DD. I divorced when she was 5, she's now 20.

I always said the same thing - I remember saying it to a recently divorced friend. Unbeknown to me she started seeing someone and told me it’s easy to say but you never know until you’ve been there.

I now firmly agree it is easy to say until you’re in that position. You never know what the future holds. The same thing happened to me several years later and I have enjoyed meeting someone new. I waited a few years first and then met someone. There is no pressure to blend, both of us like hanging out when we’re not with our children.

I don’t know really. Dh and I have both said the same in conversation, just couldn’t be arsed to do that getting to know you bit again, getting my body out to a stranger, learning their quirks, none of it.
If we broke up we both said we’d not bother again. But you just never know do you?
So I’d believe what he said but not put any stock by it that either of you would remain single forever because it’s just how life works out sometimes.

Mine said that. He was already shagging someone else 🤣

Hopefully your DH is a decent chap. There must be some out there!