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Original poster

Urban DofE: does such a thing exist?

109 replies

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:19

Hello
I am looking for an alternative Gold Duke of Edinburgh`s Award Expedition for my just turned 18yo daughter. She has mental health difficulties and a history of depression, to which I have found the standard Expeditions unsuitable. We live in Liverpool and I initially suggested to our Private DofE coordinator to do the Leeds and Liverpool Canal as her Expedition. And before you go on about wild country or mountains, as of 2023 the DofE says it allows Urban Expeditions (look at 20 Conditions).

It needs to have/provide the following things:

.be in an urban or semi-urban environment and not in "wilderness" or mountains
.have absolute MINIMUM team size of 4 people
.female only or request to have female only
.to ask an allocated time for me to see my daughter at night
.to ask to bring own food and not those shitty ration pack boil in the bag meals (such as bring own spaghetti and sauce)

Can anyone help or advise me on this?

OP posts:
SweepSqueaks · 12/07/2026 18:35

EssCarGo · 12/07/2026 18:31

I have hired loads of young people and DofE isn’t something I’ve ever looked for, or even noticed, on a CV.

It seems to me that you are focusing on this one thing, as the key to fixing a much bigger issue.

Im sorry, but I don’t think this is going to work, or particularly to help your daughter.

Show quote history

At my DD’s sixth form college they were told not to put it on their personal statements and CVs.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 18:35

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:32

Apparently over 16s cant do bronze as its for 14 and 15yo due to safeguarding issues- dont tell me cuz ive already tried this!

Silver then?

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 18:34

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:27

We did do volunteering.
She has done 18 months or 500 hours of unpaid work. She enjoyed it but it was 2 days a week for a morning. it seems to be when she is away from me at night time or longer than 1 day it triggers her mental episodes and makes her feel like she needs to drink.

You want to request to see your daughter every night, to stop her getting pissed?

Okiedokie123 · 12/07/2026 18:34

"allocated time for me to see my daughter at night"
You've posted about this four times now? (twice today)
I get it, shes got some depression and confidence issues, shes not spent time in the countryside, struggles when you arent there........... Shes 18. Its time (beyond time) for her to start working on that. I cannot imagine any DofE situation that will let a parent see their daughter during the trip - is it significant that you've said "for me to see my" rather than her wanting to see you??

Sounds to me like 3-5 days, without any contact with you, in the countryside (not necessarily up a mountain!) would do her some good.

SweepSqueaks · 12/07/2026 18:34

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

I don’t think you are right about that.

Everybody brings their own food but a part of it is planning and making a shared meal. My dd is anaphylactic but that made her get really involved in the planning of that aspect.

ipityyou · 12/07/2026 18:33

If she’s that immature you’re best getting her into a specialist setting to help her overcome that.

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 18:33

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

This kind of dofe doesn't exist. Carry on.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 18:32

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:30

We did try Bronze, but it was never finished. She was 14.

So why not try bronze again?

Original poster
paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:32

Apparently over 16s cant do bronze as its for 14 and 15yo due to safeguarding issues- dont tell me cuz ive already tried this!

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/07/2026 18:31

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:30

We did try Bronze, but it was never finished. She was 14.

So she isn’t going to be able to do gold! You are being VVunreasonable.

You say she’s immature. Do bronze now. Then silver. Then gold when she’s had the training necessary to prepare for it, which she hasn’t had.

EssCarGo · 12/07/2026 18:31

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

I have hired loads of young people and DofE isn’t something I’ve ever looked for, or even noticed, on a CV.

It seems to me that you are focusing on this one thing, as the key to fixing a much bigger issue.

Im sorry, but I don’t think this is going to work, or particularly to help your daughter.

ForDreamyMintHare · 12/07/2026 18:31

Honestly, unis and employers don't give a toss about DofE. It's too universal.

GreenWheat · 12/07/2026 18:31

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

It's unlikely to do that. People use it as an 'extra string to their bow ' on top of academic qualifications, work experience, university degree, etc. It doesn't replace any of the fundamentals.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 18:30

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

Why? And if so, why doesn’t she go do it? You want to adapt it into do something it isn’t

Original poster
paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:30

We did try Bronze, but it was never finished. She was 14.

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/07/2026 18:30

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

She can do it until she’s 25. Wouldn’t it be better to wait until she’s better able to manage it?

TheBossOfMe · 12/07/2026 18:29

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:27

We did do volunteering.
She has done 18 months or 500 hours of unpaid work. She enjoyed it but it was 2 days a week for a morning. it seems to be when she is away from me at night time or longer than 1 day it triggers her mental episodes and makes her feel like she needs to drink.

And if one of her problems is drinking when away from you, she shouldn’t be in any way on an expedition that tests physical limits where she could potentially be a danger to the other participants 🤦‍♀️

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/07/2026 18:29

Did she do silver and bronze?

The volunteering will be helpful in its own right, it wasn’t a waste of time. But an expedition where she’s close to you and able to contact you, on familiar territory, isn’t going to meet the challenge expected at Gold level.

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 18:28

And before you go on about wild country or mountains, as of 2023 the DofE says it allows Urban Expeditions (look at 20 Conditions).

This is a very rude way to word something when you're after a favour from MNetters.

My advice would be to be a bit more polite.

Original poster
paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

OP posts:
TheBossOfMe · 12/07/2026 18:27

Posting the same post as I’ve posted on your other threads. DofE isn’t suitable for your DD and in no way do employers see it as a substitute for basic academic qualifications. Your energy would be far better spent on helping her to achieve at least some of those rather than getting her onto an activity which sounds completely beyond her abilities.

GreenWheat · 12/07/2026 18:27

Given this is about the third thread you started about this, what are you expecting this time that you didn't get on the last occasions? It sounds like the expedition isn't going to work. She can still use her experiences in other sections to talk about at interviews.

Original poster
paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:27

We did do volunteering.
She has done 18 months or 500 hours of unpaid work. She enjoyed it but it was 2 days a week for a morning. it seems to be when she is away from me at night time or longer than 1 day it triggers her mental episodes and makes her feel like she needs to drink.

OP posts:
Ithinkhesamerdog · 12/07/2026 18:27

It also doesn't do a child any harm to realise that it they have exercised enough and are hungry enough they will be happy to eat a boil in the bag type meal

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 18:25

Sounds like D of E isn’t right for your daughter. Is it her wanting to do it so desperately? Or are you pushing her into it? (Sounds far more likely)

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