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AIBU?

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Urban DofE: does such a thing exist?

109 replies

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:19

Hello
I am looking for an alternative Gold Duke of Edinburgh`s Award Expedition for my just turned 18yo daughter. She has mental health difficulties and a history of depression, to which I have found the standard Expeditions unsuitable. We live in Liverpool and I initially suggested to our Private DofE coordinator to do the Leeds and Liverpool Canal as her Expedition. And before you go on about wild country or mountains, as of 2023 the DofE says it allows Urban Expeditions (look at 20 Conditions).

It needs to have/provide the following things:

.be in an urban or semi-urban environment and not in "wilderness" or mountains
.have absolute MINIMUM team size of 4 people
.female only or request to have female only
.to ask an allocated time for me to see my daughter at night
.to ask to bring own food and not those shitty ration pack boil in the bag meals (such as bring own spaghetti and sauce)

Can anyone help or advise me on this?

OP posts:
KatherineParr · 12/07/2026 19:19

Maybe if you tell us what you want your daughter to get out of DofE, we can suggest an alternative. As a few posters have explained, DofE isn't a substitute for GCSEs, so you can stop stressing about finding an alternative expedition. There will be a better option out there to help your daughter.

moggerhanger · 12/07/2026 19:18

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:43

Presumably camp in tents on side of canal, if not go to nearest town and camp in a park there.

Are you on meth? This is a terrible idea. A safety and safeguarding nightmare, plus there's no legal right to camp wherever you like.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 19:17

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 19:15

End of day refers to the close of a standard business day. A Dofe trip is a business too. With rules. With an organisation. With responsibility.

The organisation behind dofe will not let OP in charge of a trip based of what she states here.

Yet you said it’s a great idea to try and set an expedition up for next year…

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 19:16

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 19:14

Why not?

End of day?
She wouldn't be allowed to lead a trip.

or

When all said and done, she wouldn't be allowed to lead a trip.

The question mark one thing. And if OPs trying to organise a none compliant trip…. Then she’s trying to organise a non compliant trip. Which is still not the right thing to do for her daughter or the other random kids she drags into it.

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 19:15

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 19:06

What do you mean ‘end of day’?

End of day refers to the close of a standard business day. A Dofe trip is a business too. With rules. With an organisation. With responsibility.

The organisation behind dofe will not let OP in charge of a trip based of what she states here.

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 19:14

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 19:11

Not heard that before. Still didn’t make sense.

Why not?

End of day?
She wouldn't be allowed to lead a trip.

or

When all said and done, she wouldn't be allowed to lead a trip.

Moonnstarz · 12/07/2026 19:12

As the other post got deleted I am not sure you saw my comment, are you confusing the DofE with Princes Trust? As I recall this being a skills based thing for young people (possibly those who underachieved). I don't think DofE is what your daughter needs right now.
If she is unable to do a GCSE can she do functional skills instead? I would focus on making sure she has basic skills in maths and English rather than hiking her around the canals. I am not sure what you think this is going to achieve in terms of job opportunities - if a job requires basic maths skills rocking up and saying well I did DofE instead won't work.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 19:11

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 19:09

It's a very common expression that means 'when all said and done'.

Not heard that before. Still didn’t make sense.

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 19:09

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 19:06

What do you mean ‘end of day’?

It's a very common expression that means 'when all said and done'.

CousinBette · 12/07/2026 19:09

Forget this DoE obsession now and seek help for your daughter in relation to her mental health and her propensity to drink. What kind of drinking is this? Is it to excess? Is she getting into trouble when she drinks? Who is she drinking with?

You will get loads of helpful advice with the above on this site if you start asking the right questions.

Iloveeverycat · 12/07/2026 19:09

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:28

She is 18 by law and date of birth, but mentally about 14. I really feel finishing the gold dofe would improve her life and future

I have 4 children none of them have ever done any of the DOE.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 19:06

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 18:56

End of day?
She wouldn't be allowed to lead a trip.

What do you mean ‘end of day’?

heartsinvisiblefury · 12/07/2026 19:06

Are you doing a DofE in posting multiple threads OP? If so, award yourself a Gold.

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 18:59

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/07/2026 18:59

Well, no. But looking into it would answer all her questions. Not the answers she wants, but still.

Yes. I agree.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/07/2026 18:59

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 18:56

End of day?
She wouldn't be allowed to lead a trip.

Well, no. But looking into it would answer all her questions. Not the answers she wants, but still.

MyEasterBonnet · 12/07/2026 18:58

I’ve just read your other post, so you’ve pulled her from in the centre and she won’t even get the DofE because she couldn’t have a go without her phone and with this group of girls? And now you’re looking for one that runs in the autumn/winter with very specific requirements that no one seems to meet? I don’t know what the long term plan is here, or the likelihood of you finding what you’re looking for, for something that isn’t going to replace a grade 4 gcse. Get her a tutor and resit the exams.

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 18:56

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 18:53

It would still need to be actually compliant though, and it doesn’t sound like that’s OPs intention. Which is also not fair to the other girls she ropes into it.

End of day?
She wouldn't be allowed to lead a trip.

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 18:55

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:43

Presumably camp in tents on side of canal, if not go to nearest town and camp in a park there.

if not go to nearest town and camp in a park there.

STOP it! 🤣🤣🤣

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 12/07/2026 18:54

I think the biggest problem with the canal is that Gold DofE expeditions involve you having to navigate.

with the best will in the world, there’s minimal navigation if you’re just walking along a tow path.

HolyHannah · 12/07/2026 18:54

paulinepolos · 12/07/2026 18:43

Presumably camp in tents on side of canal, if not go to nearest town and camp in a park there.

Those things are illegal in England. You need to be camped at legal campsites.

youplonkerrodney · 12/07/2026 18:54

If she isn’t quite ready for D of E maybe the Junior Duke award would be suitable? I don’t know loads about it but I think the focus is on developing independence. Could be worth a look.

ByKindOpalPoet · 12/07/2026 18:54

I posted this on your other thread but still

is it challenging for gold? is it demanding for gold? that is the issue. is it used for bronze or silver? where are they camping/staying over as they also have to do that. - the fact you say she knows those canals suggests its not challenging or demanding for her

reality is you seem to think gold dofe is a substitute for the fact your daughter has no GCSEs and doesn't want to resit them

also the 20 conditions no longer exist and were only around because of covid. yes it has to be inclusive but it also has to be challenging and demanding for the level.

the fact she couldn't complete bronze suggests gold is not for her, did she do silver? or did she not complete that one as well?

she also has to do a residential section that you (as with the expedition) can not be involved in. hell the residential can be taken abroad.

yes they have to be inclusive and make adaptions but if she drinks without you around then I'm sorry no DofE leader is going to want to risk taking her with them.

also three threads? accept the reality that this isn't for her

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2026 18:53

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 18:52

This is actually a great input.

It would still need to be actually compliant though, and it doesn’t sound like that’s OPs intention. Which is also not fair to the other girls she ropes into it.

Maddy70 · 12/07/2026 18:53

Yabu your "form" of D Of E doesn't exist. That would change the entire point. It's ok to accept it's not for your child

ShetlandishMum · 12/07/2026 18:52

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/07/2026 18:44

You should look into training as an expedition leader, and set one up for next year.

This is actually a great input.

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