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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so stressed after my dog reacted…

89 replies

BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 14:56

Help, this might sound pathetic, I have a three year old lab.

She has always been good as gold, social, loves people, a fuss, a cuddle.

This is a factual account of what happened.

We were sat outside a bar, at the side next to a path, four women walked down the path.

One locked eyes with me and smiled and I smiled back and she approached my dog.

As she was about 2 feet away she gave a small jump, and raised her hands up, in a sort of ‘look at you’ way and my dog lost it.

She was barking, lunging, and the lady wouldn’t let it go, as in just kept trying to engage with her. She then left. My dog calmed immediately.

She has gone on to meet and greet several people, full on cuddles, belly rubs, being handled, back to her normal self. Nothing like that again but it’s playing on my mind.

Can it be as simple as just the approach, I’m struggling to shake it off. Please help, has this ever happened to anyone else?

Other things which might be of interest:

She was possibly overtired.
We had broken down and were having to overnight somewhere unfamiliar. It had been a long day.
It had been a hot day (although had cooled down by this point)

OP posts:
Dontgetstuckinthepast · 12/07/2026 16:59

The woman sounds like a dickhead. She shouldn't have approached your dog and certainly shouldn't have persisted trying to greet him.

I only stroke dogs who come up to me to 1) say hello, 2) seem nice and 3) the owner is happy for me to give them a gentle smoosh. I always ask even if the dog seems keen. (I hope this is OK, I've never had a dog sadly).

Glitchymn1 · 12/07/2026 16:55

Gardenisablooming · 12/07/2026 15:07

Maybe your ddog felt they had to protect you from Flappy Fuckwit?

^ this plus hot unsettling day.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 12/07/2026 16:52

ThePeppyOpalScroller · 12/07/2026 16:18

she was barking, lunging

That's likely an offence OP. The Dangerous Dogs Act is written to say a dog doing anything that makes someon fear for their safety or others, means the dog's owner commits an offence of a dog being dangerously out of control. Your dog doesn't have to actually do anything. Odd law. But if your dog was really barking and lunging at someone. You could be in trouble if it happens again. Maybe keep a muzzle on from now on.

Don’t be so bloody ridiculous

Silverbirchleaf · 12/07/2026 16:46

I’d overthink it as well, but it sounds like the woman didn’t help the situation.

Crwysmam · 12/07/2026 16:44

Labradors are excellent judges of character. If she didn’t like the woman there’s probably a good reason why. They are excellent body language readers so her erratic behaviour just put her into protect mode.

Having said that the only time my previous lab was reactive was when I was pregnant. She was also grumbly if we passed someone while walking in the fields next to us that didn’t have a dog. Although, at the time we were unaware that the local drug dealer arranged to meet customers at the village hall carpark next to us, so it was probably their unfamiliar smell. It’s possible that the woman wasn’t just under the influence of alcohol.

Dogs rely on body language to work out out intentions, alcohol and drugs change normal body language and can cause stress in dogs when that person tries to interact.

ThePeppyOpalScroller · 12/07/2026 16:18

she was barking, lunging

That's likely an offence OP. The Dangerous Dogs Act is written to say a dog doing anything that makes someon fear for their safety or others, means the dog's owner commits an offence of a dog being dangerously out of control. Your dog doesn't have to actually do anything. Odd law. But if your dog was really barking and lunging at someone. You could be in trouble if it happens again. Maybe keep a muzzle on from now on.

InSlovakiaTheCapitalOfCourseIsBratislava · 12/07/2026 16:17

InSlovakiaTheCapitalOfCourseIsBratislava · 12/07/2026 16:09

Don’t over think it, the woman was being a muppet and it’s out of character for the dog
however, it is an important reminder that dogs can act out of character for no apparent reason and when moderately provoked and this is why they should’nt be left unsupervised with children

Not that there were any children in this situation and the OP is probably more than well aware, and labs are good family dogs. But but but, still

DinoLil · 12/07/2026 16:15

You were out in the heat?
I'd be snappy too.

InSlovakiaTheCapitalOfCourseIsBratislava · 12/07/2026 16:09

Don’t over think it, the woman was being a muppet and it’s out of character for the dog
however, it is an important reminder that dogs can act out of character for no apparent reason and when moderately provoked and this is why they should’nt be left unsupervised with children

DontTeaseMyDog · 12/07/2026 15:55

My dog absolutely hates my brother, and once went bonkers at a random poor guy walking past.

One is short, white, super fat, the other is Asian, glasses, really tall. So it's not even a 'style' of person.

We can't like everyone eh? Dogs just can't hide it the same, I guess!

hettie · 12/07/2026 15:49

Lady was weird your dog took a dislike to her...End of.....
My dog is a goofy idiot the only person he took an instant dislike to was a poor dog walker....Poor lady ... Just barked at her straight off, she hadn't even got near. Never done anything like that since or before (his normal trick is to assume everyone enters the house exclusively to rub his belly).

Balloonhearts · 12/07/2026 15:35

She freaked her out! I'd have told her to back the fuck off as well. Drunken twat.

Agree with pp, dogs know. They read body language, have a powerful sense of smell. They sense things we don't. I used to work with a man who animals didn't like. He'd try to pat customers dogs sometimes and they'd be funny with him. He was later convicted of a very violent crime.

UseItOrLoseIt1984 · 12/07/2026 15:35

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BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:34

Ipsevenenabibas · 12/07/2026 15:34

This isn't worth a second more of your time. The dog reacted to a strange woman acting a bit weird. Dogs pick up on things we aren't aware of and it's likely meant the dog was reacting to this. Nothing actually happened she's still a very good girl. The end.

Thank you ❤️

OP posts:
BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:34

Thanks everyone, all taken onboard. I’m an over thinker:

OP posts:
Ipsevenenabibas · 12/07/2026 15:34

This isn't worth a second more of your time. The dog reacted to a strange woman acting a bit weird. Dogs pick up on things we aren't aware of and it's likely meant the dog was reacting to this. Nothing actually happened she's still a very good girl. The end.

BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:33

ERthree · 12/07/2026 15:25

Your fog met someone with a dark heart. Animals know when you are not a good person.

Love this 😂❤️

OP posts:
BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:33

DaisyChain505 · 12/07/2026 15:21

Was your dog reacting in an aggressive way or just an over excited way towards this woman?

With regards to the heat, yes it’s been too hot to have dogs out in the day recently. I personally think it’s cruel to drag dogs around in these temperatures and to make them sit around so the owners can have a beer in the sunshine. Leave them at home where it’s cool.

Agree totally. Even at 8pm last night it was too hot. We tend to leave ours at home. Much to their disgust.

OP posts:
BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:31

NowWhatBih · 12/07/2026 15:09

Are you naturally an over thinker like this? Just let it go. There bigger problems in life

Yes totally, hence the question.

OP posts:
BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:31

FeliciaFancybottom · 12/07/2026 15:01

It sounds like it was a bad reaction to one particular person, so I'd be inclined to forget about it. Was the woman flapping her hands and squealing?

Essentially yes, not so much squealing but flapping!

OP posts:
BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:30

Loopylalalou · 12/07/2026 15:01

Sometimes a dog just doesn’t like a person, just like you or I. And maybe in feeling instant dislike, they find the person to be bloody annoying so they do the doggie equivalent of shouting F off!
That’s my experience.

Thank you, appreciate this!!

OP posts:
BEAchDays2 · 12/07/2026 15:30

Nothankyoucat · 12/07/2026 14:57

Sounds like it wasn’t aggressive if it didn’t stop the lady from trying to engage?

It was very much a back off bark and posture. It was around 10.30pm, she seemed drunk. 😭

OP posts:
TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 12/07/2026 15:28

People need to learn that just because they see a dog, doesn't mean they can approach it. And, just as importantly, owners need to learn the same thing.

The best and most responsible thing any owner can do for their dog is teach it to ignore other people - including people who proactively approach it. That way, you never put your dog in a situation where people might make it uncomfortable.

BMW58 · 12/07/2026 15:28

Sometimes dogs just take against a person for no apparent reason.

Mine once spotted a person in the distance - so far away couldn't tell if male or female - but he wouldn't take his eyes off the person and was growling incessantly.

Was so disconcerting I walked him away in the opposite direction and he Immediately went back to normal.

Never happened again. Most odd.

outerspacepotato · 12/07/2026 15:27

Your dog was sending her a message. The woman was acting weird too close to you and she didn't recognize the dog language there.

Work on training the next few weeks and keep them leashed at all times but I wouldn't be too concerned.

If someone gets too close and your dog acts nervous or different, tell the person to go away.