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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I think the answer is a resounding Yes but my gosh what an opportunity to vengefully shit stir ….

137 replies

JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel · 12/07/2026 13:58

Little context

I was helped enormously by the MN community who supported my getting all ducks in a row and eventually leaving abusive/coercive/cheating husband of 18 years.

You also helped me navigate the gruelling 6 year divorce that followed where he kept to ‘script’ and used all the usual tricks a narcissist usually throws at the mother of his children when she leaves and he ends up with no control .

So- we had to navigate cheating threats/occupation/protective orders/ hiding assets leaving me penniless with all the DC who are now 18+ . I have no contact with ex.

Since the start of the break up I moved away and started a completely new life- Ex shacked up with one of the side pieces (there were many) treating her DC better than his own and being very vocal all over SM for his own children to see -

So- one of my newer friends started online dating after her divorce and she matches with my ex - she messaged me straight away and we had a laugh about it and 🤮🤮 at his profile.

Recently after a few wines she asked -shall we see how far he takes it ?

I definitely encouraged it and now it’s escalated - he is asking for intimate photos /wants to meet up and she has shared the requests with me

AIBU to print them and send them into Miss Sidepiece?

OR do a jog on and grow up and pretend I wasn’t left penniless, shat on with a massive chip on my shoulder?

OP posts:
Chucklebunnie · 12/07/2026 14:11

I’d do it, wouldn’t be able to stop myself. Wouldn’t feel guilty about it either.

Dazedanddiscombobulated · 12/07/2026 14:10

You describe him as abusive and coercive. You have worked so hard to break clean from him and build a new life. As angry as you must feel for what he did to you, I feel like it is very risky for you to do anything now that brings your past life into your new life.

Your new life is clean and healthy without him, don’t sully it by having anything to do with him, even to give him a taste of his own medicine. Walk away.

JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel · 12/07/2026 14:09

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 12/07/2026 14:03

The problem is this stuff just makes you look obsessed - he’ll twist it that you’re the nutty ex.

Just move on. Try to not care what he’s up to

They wouldn’t know it was from me 🤔

OP posts:
Gardenisablooming · 12/07/2026 14:09

Print off amd send. No reason he knows who sent them .

Pokingbroccoli · 12/07/2026 14:06

It might be better for your mental health to just step away, ignore him and let him sew the seeds of his own destruction. If he's cheating presumably his current partner will find out at some point.

I think I'd just walk away and be glad I'm no longer embroiled in his mess.

Shewas · 12/07/2026 14:05

Is it possible your friend could show her, one concerned woman nagivating a murky dating pool to another, and keep you out of it?

GreenFootstool · 12/07/2026 14:04

Nah, fuck him, go nuclear. Send the evidence but make sure it's not traceable to you.

If nothing else she deserves to know he's actively looking for another model and she can go get an STI test for her peace of mind.

zurigo · 12/07/2026 14:03

Oh wow it would definitely be very tempting to print them off and send them anonymously ... and I can't think of anyone who deserves it more ...

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 12/07/2026 14:03

The problem is this stuff just makes you look obsessed - he’ll twist it that you’re the nutty ex.

Just move on. Try to not care what he’s up to

JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel · 12/07/2026 14:02

Evaka · 12/07/2026 14:00

Argh! So tempting. I'd scupper his piece of shit life tbh and I'm not normally petty or vengeful at all.

Nor am I but it’s like my body has such a urge to do it

I’m such a rule abider and it was to my cost during our divorce.

I have the angel and devil on my shoulder and neither is shouting louder than the other 🥴

OP posts:
BeaPerry · 12/07/2026 14:01

Jog on -
he does not deserve any more of your head space -
don’t remain tethered to him even in revenge

Evaka · 12/07/2026 14:00

Argh! So tempting. I'd scupper his piece of shit life tbh and I'm not normally petty or vengeful at all.