I think the answer is a resounding Yes but my gosh what an opportunity to vengefully shit stir ….

Don't see what you mean unfortunately. Different perspectives I guess.

This is the father of your children @JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel ?

You say you have no contact with him nowadays - so how do you know for sure that he's still with his current partner (the one you're calling 'side piece')?
I would stay out of it. You've had a laugh at his profile, and felt some vengeance on the woman he went off with - but I'd leave it at that. You admit you'd be just doing it to hurt her, but she will end up hurt by him anyway I'm sure.

Have you read the Belle Burden book about her divorce? I love something her therapist step mother told her - who do you want to give the spot life to in your life? And make your decision according to that.

Totally agree with every word.
And you can’t feign indifference, but my god when you get there… it’s like the light is shining on a new world. The flip side is the indifference enflames them, but who gives a feck, because you’re indifferent! You’ll see the light, but only when you stop poking the bear.

Send them to her. You don’t owe him anything.

All this

Ask your long term friends @JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel and they’ll say the same

Id say you’d be wise to consider exploring therapy

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. You're not indifferent.

I can understand the temptation but really, don't. You don't know how either of them will react (unstable, idiotic, horny and traitorous is a dangerous combination and someone might well get physically harmed), if it's traced back to you there'll be a huge amount of shit and drama back with you and while some people will think "go girl", most won't care beyond how much it entertains them.

He's treating her as badly as he treated you and will make her just as miserable without any assistance. They're already in a shitshow of a life. Leave them to it.

I get it OP. But… the best way to deal with this is no reaction. Narcissists want, actually feed off a reaction, good or bad, doesn’t matter to them, it’s the feed they need off a reaction.

I was married to one for over twenty years. I’ve moved on. I’m not just saying I’ve moved on, I absolutely have. He’s in my past and will stay there. My reaction to your friend would be so different to yours. I would have shivered, said, Please, shut that down. If “after a few wines” she said, shall we take this further, I’d have said Do what you want,but I’m out “. And meant it. And not have given it another thought.

You are not at the stage yet, he still had you under his spell. It takes time. They feed off games.

But the op is planning on sending screen shots so the friend will be identified

although hopefully the op has seen sense

Fair enough - I am all for taking an opportunity to fuck someone over if they deserve it. I just wouldn’t feel right doing it on the quiet as it feels a bit cowardly iyswim

The only reason I would say no is for your well being.

There are lots of shitty people who behave really shittily because of their own issues. His behaviour hurt you but it says nothing about you and who you are as a person or your value.

You are obviously a decent person, doing something that could potentially embroil you again with him could impact on you and set you back in your recovery.

Being himself is his cross to bare in life.

This. He will reveal his true self to her eventually. The good news is you won't be involved, just a spectator

I wouldn't entangle your friend in this, it's not her circus. I can see the temptation though.

Is this an attempt to win mumsnet bingo?

He doesn’t know she’s the OP’s friend. She is a new friend. Post divorce and different area.

The point wasn't that they knew it was me. It was for my own private satisfaction and to make sure their actions had a fair result. They had shit on me enough times by acting badly and getting away with it. Finally, they didn't get away with it, thanks to my intervention.

Oh my god absolutely do not get involved. You’re insisting you’re over it but you clearly still (understandably) have a lot of anger towards him. If you send to his current gf it will just come off like you’re bitter. Just don’t.

I was helped enormously by the MN community who supported my getting all ducks in a row and eventually leaving abusive/coercive/cheating husband of 18 years.

and going by this thread, there’s still work to do

OP - be aware that the posters sitting behind their keyboards encouraging this crap aren’t the ones who have to deal with any fallout.

Of course he will

It is the friend’s real profile that he’s interacting

I don’t really see what the win for you is here? Why not just ensure you have nothing to do with him.

Whats the point if they don’t know it’s you though? If you want to get back at someone, at least own it.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS, do this too!

From the fake social media profile!

Never poke a bear unless you’re not afraid to get eaten. Have a good chuckle but I would not pursue this any further.