I think the answer is a resounding Yes but my gosh what an opportunity to vengefully shit stir ….

I’d feel embarrassed if 6 years post split I was still so bitterly focussed on my ex.

He’s still controlling you - he’s not worthy of your time. Tempting to do it - but don’t.

I would not be able to resist. Fuck them both.

Nobody cares about your claim to smug happiness. Even if it were true (which it's not, vengeful people are never happy, despite what they say, and usually the act of vengeance, if it happened outside of their imagination, was totally tame and silly anyway), it would still be completely irrelevant. It's not about you.

Reporting a terrible crime to the police for investigation and process of justice isn't even remotely comparable to a setting up a silly entrapment operation on your ex from a million years ago who's grubbily but legally trying to shag around. I would say I can't believe I have to explain this, but there have been some absolute corkers on here lately and this isn't even the most ridiculous one, so actually, I can. Not going to waste any more time on it, though. Gordon Bennett.

Get really really pissed. Send it. Get even more sloshed then you wont remember a thing!!

You would be unreasonable not to tell the woman concerned. Give her the option to leave him.

It isn't false though is it? If you whistle blow and they are caught and found out that isn't being a vigilante. It's just making the information obvious to the person who regulates them. Who previously was oblivious.

But think what you like. I'm smug and happy in my new-found under cover vengefulness. Wish I'd found my revenge mojo many, many years earlier!

Mumsnet community doesn’t appear to have done a great job given you’re back here 6 years later apparently spending an inordinate amount of time still thinking about your ex @JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel

I don't think it'll be that satisfying, because surely you won't get to see the fallout anyway? At best you'll hear that they've split up and at worst they'll stay together and you won't hear anything about it at all, which will probably be more annoying than if you did nothing. It would be a lot more tempting if they were likely to have a blazing row right in front of you.

I would do it OP if there was no chance it could cause problems for your friend. If there was the slightest chance that she might get into a nasty row about it, I wouldn’t do it.

What he did to you is not a crime but he broke a vow, he gave you an STI when you trusted him to be faithful. Then he lied some more, emotionally abused you and left you penniless. And he damaged your children’s life chances by his actions.

It feels like there has been a gross injustice done, and you have never had an opportunity to get any justice more closure.

You “moved on” because you had no choice. But you didn’t heal because there was no justice - he did horrible things and got away with it, he even flaunted it publicly, and profited from it.

If this small action would bring you a small feeling of justice being served I think it might give you an opportunity to have some closure. To feel like finally you have taken back some measure of power in a relationship you could never resolve.

Oh ffs. Holy false equivalence, Batman!

But to run with it, for a laugh... even in the case of the worst violent crime there is rather than a serial shagger serially shagging... you get the police and justice system involved, not random vigilantes fucking around as they like dispensing what they deem as justice themselves.

Honestly, when you have to run with something like this to justify it, it really is a shit idea.

You need to move on from this loser. How does the new friend even know what he looks like? And why is her search radius so large? I'm not really buying the just stumbled upon him thing.

@ThatCyanCat so if someone kills someone, we can rely on the consequences of their actions naturally bringing them to justice can we? Bullshit.

No one needs to know who turns the murderer in. As long as they're convicted.

If it's the consequences of their actions, they don't need an external party stepping in to alter things.

The guy got caught cheating by OP, he had a load of OW, he's now at it again and so thick and indiscreet he's been spotted already. What are the odds that some avenging angel is needed to bring about consequences? His life is clearly already a shitshow.

And honestly, dick as he is, he's no longer married to OP and apart from (presumably) shared children, he's nothing to do with her and certainly nothing to do with this random friend. Who titled them as the ones with the right to "punish" him? What if he or someone else decides after this that they've got the right to "punish" OP and her friend?

But as I said, I don't see it that way. For me, it's about them getting the consequences of their actions.

Do something wrong, get punished.

Not, 'Ooooh look, I got my own back on you.'

100% from start to finish

Print off and send the evidence, addressed directly to her. If only to allow her to get checked for STIs.

As tempting as it is, don’t do it. Forget the piece of shit and move on. Never look at his social media ether. Live your life as though he never existed.

What if your friend was in on the set-up and you were the one being setup to be seen as vengeful and holding a grudging dynamic?
Couldnt/ wouldnt that be used against you in your next court confrontation?
(Except you think they will never know its you.!)...But if it was a well set trap you would absolutely fall for it?

No I wouldn't because I am a mature intelligent grrown adult

I'm a big fan of revenge and nurse grudges for years. Go for it.

I agree.

The hate you clearly have for this woman (esp as she was only one of the women he cheated on you with) emanates from your posts. Your intention is to hurt her. So if you have moved on, why would you bother?

I would have thought that after all that effort you wouldn’t want to create further drama. But as you seem determined, do it, so long as you are happy to be known as the psycho ex and to make it clear that you still care about him.

It’s not complicated. If you get the opportunity to take revenge on someone then be brave enough to own your actions so they know it was you.

OP, I suspect that what you're imagining will happen is a fabulous Hollywood style double humiliation scene with thrown drinks and jaws on the floor that leaves them both permanently subdued, miserable and pondering the error of their ways. (You must realise that given he's a long term and ongoing cheat and arsehole, they're both already miserable anyway.)

I can't tell you how unlikely this is, and if you really truly were over him you wouldn't give a shit what he does or thinks as long as it's far away from you. I honestly don't think you'll get anything like the satisfaction you imagine and I can think of at least 500 ways it could all go horribly wrong. And most people really will not give a shit about it. Many will think you're nuts for going to all this trouble to interfere years after you split up.

And he's your kids' dad, I assume? How could this be in their interests in any way?

You know what they say about what to do before embarking on a journey of revenge. This is honestly, truly, really, an absolutely shit idea.