Should I apologise to this mum?

But I did also say about how much closer girls are with their family as adults

How so? I have the opposite experience.

This is the best advice

If you had said this to me I would think you were an idiot and it would change how I thought about you. Apologising won’t make a difference, probably will make yourself look even worse.

(ps I have 2 girls no boys but I would never gloat about being a “girl mum” because that’s weird. I also would think someone gloating to me about having boys was an idiot)

Not everyone is desperate for a girl you know OP. It's fine to really want one though, no much point apologising when you've made it so clear though. Just be more normal in future!

Second this. Believe me we are used to it. When pregnant with DS3 another school mum was pregnant with her 3rd too. She actually said, ‘oh poor you, I’m so relieved mine is a girl’ , she already have a boy and a girl. I just role my eyes and think it must be a very empty life where the sex of your child validates your happiness.

don’t applogise, you and her just aren’t compatible as gym friends

It’s very cringe that you were so gleeful about having a girl, regardless of who you’re taking to. Your daughter may or may not be close to you in later life, there is no guarantee she’ll be the kind of person you expect her to be. In fact you’re probably setting yourself up for massive disappointment if you think she’s going to want to do shopping trips, spas or city breaks when she’s an adult or be your best friend or whatever… maybe think carefully about why you think having a girl is somehow superior to having a boy. It really isn’t.

So you think the mothers of boys feel deprived in some way and we would be sooo upset that you rubbed our noses in it because we don’t have girls? You poor deluded idiot. I’m glad I had a boy. But if I had a girl, I would have been happy still. You do realise OP that you need both sexes in order for the human race to continue?

Ha ha you have absolutely no idea just rose tinted glasses.

I'm happy you got the girl you want. I wish you a healthy pregnancy and safe birth, same as any other mum to be.

I genuinely hope your DD when she arrives is breeze and close to you into adulthood.

Just read the threads on her to see what you are dreaming off is t always the reality. Both boys and girls can be challenging, hurtful and distant. You just have to hope your parent well and bring up respectful and kind DC.

Rubbing her face innit becsuse shes the mother of a boy
Fo you think boys are somehow inferior?

The worse part of this is assuming she wants girls. I personally was so scared of having a girl and wanted boys. She might well be thinking poor you.

And just to balance it, being a boy mum brings a pride like no other.

Humans have a nasty history of aborting or killing babies of the 'wrong' sex and it still causes demographic issues in some countries today. That, and the fact it is a bit rude, is why expressing an overwhelming preference for either sex can seem crass and unaware. It isn't really about coming across as smug because the other mum is probably delighted with her boy.

'Smug girl mum' is definitely a thing, isn't it? I don't get it

Grace extended because you are clearly over excited and new to motherhood. I can remember feeling the bees knees, so happy and very special - enjoy it because the second they arrive its all about them now.

Id just leave that mum alone unless she approaches you. You have no idea what she may have experienced or how she feels about motherhood. Personally I would just shrug it off as you being a bit vacuous but I know people who would really struggle with that conversation.

Learn from your experience and start thinking about how you can encourage your little girl to be everything SHE wants to be, not focussing on how exciting its going to be for you to enforce a set of gendered expectations onto her tiny self.

Wishing you a straightforward & healthy pregnancy.

Where I come from, people are elated at having a boy. They believe that boys will look after parents, will carry on the family name and be there in their old age. They believe girls are a burden, who will marry and go off to another family. So they 'relax' when they know they are having a boy (they can't know this because sex determination is at least legally banned). So people say they are relieved because 'boys are easier', they won't be nightmare teens. You don't have to worry as much about their safety.

I'm talking about India incidentally and the gender dynamics there.

You see how vile that all sounds? Now replace boy with girl, and all the stereotypes and you see how that sounds.

If someone Indian came and told me they were 'relieved' they were having a boy and spouted a bunch of gendered stereotypes at me to explain their 'relief', I would think very badly of them.

I would do the same if someone having a girl in 2026 in the UK did the same to me. And then came back to me and apologised for coming across as 'smug'.

You have some strange ideas op. Hate to bust your bubble but your dd isn't guaranteed to have a wonderful close relationship with you (I hope you get what you want btw, it's just that you are sounding strange and what you said is unequivocally not true anyway) . Boys can be amazing and can be very close to their mums actually. Just read the many non contact with my mum threads from daughters on mn. You never know. This isn't a gender thing, it's a family dynamics, personalities thing.

I think people will give you a pass cos first time mums are a bit clueless, precious first born and all that but the sooner you get to grips with reality the better.

I agree.
And actually I pity your daughter, because you clearly have a ton of preconceived ideas about how she is going to be, and the pressure on her to live up to all that will be overwhelming.

Bless

I would probably apologise , but quickly and lightheartedly

She will understand.

All of this! You sound awful.

Did you tell her that you can’t wait to have a girl and she will be your “mini me”, your “little bestie” and you will have a “friend for life” whereas her boy will disown her as soon as he gets a girlfriend 🙄

By the way I have one of each so I’m not bitter I just think you’re a knob!

I agree. My dds were fine as teenagers

Agreed. And "I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one" Makes it sound a bit like collecting Pokemon or similar. Imagine if you had had 6 boys........ then a girl, how those sons would have felt. :(

"Teen girls are far worse".

Speak for yours. Mine is lovely.

You are just as bad as the @Cringecringecringecringe with the sexist generalisations.

You can make your point without slagging off teen girls. Some teenagers are just difficult - they could be boys or girls.

Even if she had a daughter, what a strange way to speak about having a baby to a stranger.

Thankfully most women are just hoping for a healthy baby to bring home with them.

OP, learn from this. Keep these unfortunate thoughts/views to your husband or close friends.

I have both sex's but in the real world health absolutely tops everything.
Good luck.

She went quiet because she thinks your opinion is ridiculous and doesn't really want much to do with you. Any mum who values their child more or less depending on their sex isn't mature enough to be a mum. She'll have been feeling sorry for your unborn child and the pressures you're already putting on her to live up to your warped expectations.

I had no preference with any of my pregnancies and ended up with a boy and two girls.

You clearly think that girls are somehow superior and the other 'poor' mother you spoke to just got a consolation prize, given that you think your ridiculous 'smugness' about having a girl was 'rubbing her face in it'.

She probably just thought you were a bit odd and silly.

I'm assuming you want a girl so much because you have an idealised view of how your daughter will turn out and the sort of relationship you will have.

But you're giving birth to a human being, not a robot, and it's very possible that this child might not fulfil your preconceived ideas of girl children and a mother daughter relationship. What happens then?

Hopefully, your baby is a girl because if she turns out to be a boy it sound like you're disappointment could cause real problems for both you and your child.