Should I apologise to this mum?

My male cousin & my ex both live next door to their respective mums, see them every day and go on holiday with them every year. My sister barely speaks to my mum except for on birthdays and Christmas, I’m somewhere in the middle, speak to my mum often but don’t live in her back pocket. The quality of the relationship with your adult child depends (often) on the quality of the relationship you create with them in childhood, it’s nothing to do with whether you have boys or girls. Although I suppose since you seem to have such a strong aversion to boys, it would be a self fulfilling prophecy that any son you had wouldn’t maintain an adult relationship with you. I have two boys and wouldn’t swap them for the world, they’re kind and fun and loving. I hope you have a great relationship with your daughter, and if you’re lucky enough to have a boy in future I hope you can see him for the unique and wonderful person he is and not a pre determined stereotype.

Oh dear

And your pregnancy hormones were on overdrive, which, to be fair they probably are. Give yourself a pass this time and just think before you speak in future.

Jesus Christ.

I am so so fucking sick of seeing threads like this, like having a boy is something to be sad about.

Off point but the terms 'Boy mum' 'Girl mum' make me want to puke... Total nonsense.

I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it

what make you think that you are superior if you have a girl? Great you are excited, but you really need to go down that pedestal of yours, because I assure you no one, but no-one will be impressed by your little darling at all. You will just look ridiculous to be beaming over an ordinary child.

This exactly!

Don't say anything. You've already embarrassed yourself once by making such smug and idiotic remarks. Don't repeat the same mistake. I would imagine the woman didn't give your comments any headspace whatsoever.

Nobody cares that you’re having a girl, it honestly interests nobody, so try and reign in all that stuff regardless of whether you’re talking to a blessed fellow female spawner or not.

I hope your daughter grows up to prove at least some of your daft outdated notions wrong.

YOU are proper cringe OP! How embarrassing for you! 🙈

” Kept going until you got one” Really????🤔

I can’t imagine how you have reached this conclusion. Are boys so bad? I’m a boy mum and it wouldn’t occur to me to be jealous or uncomfortable in the way you’re imagined this woman must be.

I find it bizarre and unhealthy with people's perceptions of what is more favourable in terms of boy /girl.
Very worrying indeed!
Take note OP and I hope your pregnancy goes well.

I would say don't apologise and don't overthink it. We all step out of line sometimes with things we say and do. Don't assume you know what she's thinking. She may have completely forgotten about it.

You sound ridiculous! Don’t apologise as that makes it seem like you feel sorry for her for having a boy.

I have two amazing girls and one amazing boy. They’re all their own little people but equally great. They’re all Mummy’s Girls/Boy but my boy is my most cuddly.

OP most men i know who dont have a close relationship with there mums dont because they have been pushed out by the females purely because they are male. My dh is one of them as are our sons. His mum does "girly" things with "her" girls. Dh gets excluded as do our sons even though they would have loved some of the activities. If a mother chooses to exclude her sons from family things purely because they are male its little wonder the son then starts pulling back. Relationships are built and maintained and if a mother pushes her son out then you can be sure they will leave.

Don't apologise, you would just embarrass yourself further.

I wouldn’t bother apologising. There’s nothing you can do to make it better.

Don’t waste your breath OP, there’s no backtracking on the cringe-fest of your conversation with her. Unfortunately as a mum of a boy she will most likely meet many of your kind through the years and learn to pity your blinkered and stereotyped approach to motherhood 🙄

This has just reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend of my mum’s years ago. Her daughter had just given birth to their first grandchild, a girl, she was going on and on about how pleased she was that baby was a girl and how close mums and daughters are, how wonderful it was to have a girls etc etc….To me, a woman who she knew had proudly given birth to two sons.
To be honest I laughed it off ( however insulting it was ) but I have never thought of her in the same way since.

Each to their own. I find it odd when people don’t want to know what they are having, because it’s gonna be one or the other and it’s easier to think of them as ‘he’ or ‘she’, buy clothes, decorate etc. That said, when people go on about it being a ‘surprise’ or have a horrific gender reveal event I smile and nod. People are weird when they are pregnant and people who’ve had kids accept this. Just don’t say anything.

You clearly do think that having a girl is far superior as even in this thread you're talking about it might rub her face in it as if she should be jealous of you?? I really hated when people asked me if I was disappointed I had a boy. And very rudely have been asked why I never tried for a girl and if I wish I would have had one. Like wtf?? If I were you op I'd try changing your attitude that girls are better than boys it's not great, and yes you will come across as smug and a bit odd.

As a boy mum I find your behaviour quite odd. Maybe she isnt bothered she doesnt have a girl? Its doesn't bother me in the least I don't have a daughter. I love my sons and had kids because I wanted a child not a girl. I have no interest in having anymore kids even if i could guarantee a girl.

However i do tend to wide berth smug mums of both girls and boys as I find them intolerable and it only tends to get worse as the.kids get older. I wouldn't apologise i would just have a long hard think about your attitude towards both girls and boys because your child is a little person not a doll that wears dresses. I mean its fine to be excited your having a girl but to suggest the other mum might have an issue with only having a son is appalling. If you want to make friends with other mums change your attitude now because you will find they wide berth you if not.

I would say I hope your scan is wrong and you have a boy, but actually I’d feel sorry for the boy because you would clearly see it as not worthy

Also my husband is really close with his mum and I barely speak to mine at all. If you force your preconceptions of what a girl should be on to your daughter, good luck having a good relationship with her when she’s older

It is also so regressive putting this expectation on girls that they must dutifully stay close to their families and be their mother’s companions.
framing the experience of motherhood around what it brings to you is alien to me, it has never crossed my mind

This. As @MNLurker1345 says, don’t assumes it’s right!
Recently a friend’s daughter gave birth to a son, when all the way through the pregnancy (and whatever scans she’d had) she’d been told it was a girl!