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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I apologise to this mum?

259 replies

Cringecringecringecringe · 12/07/2026 13:37

I’ve recently had the scan to find out that I’m having a girl and to say I’m thrilled is an understatement as I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one.

I was talking to a Mum at my gym before the class started who I was sure also had a daughter. She asked me if I knew what I was having and I told her I was having a girl and in my excitement I did get a bit carried away in my enthusiasm about having a girl rather than a boy.

The mum didn’t say much in reply and then the class started so I didn’t think much of it until I was in the cafe after and saw her with her child who is definitely a boy.

I know feel super awkward about it as I think I might have come across a bit OTT about having a girl and I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

I was lying in bed replaying the conversation and i just keep cringing. I’m wondering if I need to apologize to her tomorrow or would it make it worse ??

There is quite a bit social side to my gym with lots of activities for mums and little ones which I know this Mum is very involved in so I really don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have any advice ?

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 12/07/2026 13:43

Don’t apologise, just take it as a lesson.

also, your preference for girls is weird

Purpleharlow · 12/07/2026 13:43

What do you mean by you think you were rubbing her face in it? Rubbing her face in what?

There’s nothing wrong with being a mum to boys so nothing to ‘rub her face in’ 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

She’s probably highly amused at how smug you sounded.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 12/07/2026 13:42

I have two girls, and if someone started waxing lyrical about the joys of having a boy, I really wouldn’t feel like they needed to apologise to me at all.

I would think they were a bit of an idiot though, especially if any of their delight came from any sexist stereotypes that their poor child has to live up to.

MonsterTruckMa · 12/07/2026 13:42

Don't say anything. As the mum of three boys, people gloat about girls and commiserate about my brilliant sons all the time. It's very wearing. I'm sure she's heard similar before. Boys are great, girls are great.
Children are so much more than their sex.
Best wishes for your pregnancy.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 12/07/2026 13:42

I don’t think you’ve covered yourself in glory. Best thing to do now is just to leave it. You can’t take it back - because it’s obviously what you really think. So just let it go.

BeaPerry · 12/07/2026 13:41

I’d say don’t apologise !!
she will probably enjoy giving u a wide berth !!
and watch with the boasting about having a girl - it’s weird !!
( I can relate as I also really wanted a girl, but that’s not the point !)

Backedoffhackedoff · 12/07/2026 13:41

I think you’re over thinking it and will look quite mad apologising to her.

there is nothing wrong with being excited about your new baby, I think anyone with children recognises some of the “niche”
ideas of pregnant first time mums 🤣 it’s like
bridezillas everyone gives them a bit of a pass

Alwayslurkingsometimesposting · 12/07/2026 13:41

Don't apologise; you'll make it more awkward! I love being a boy mum- smug girl mums dont affect me at all so she's probably the same. Don't worry about it. Just be normal next time you chat and stick to other, non- gender specific parenting topics

Decacaffeinatednow · 12/07/2026 13:38

She probably thinks you’re very strange.