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Should I apologise to this mum?

259 replies

Cringecringecringecringe · 12/07/2026 13:37

I’ve recently had the scan to find out that I’m having a girl and to say I’m thrilled is an understatement as I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one.

I was talking to a Mum at my gym before the class started who I was sure also had a daughter. She asked me if I knew what I was having and I told her I was having a girl and in my excitement I did get a bit carried away in my enthusiasm about having a girl rather than a boy.

The mum didn’t say much in reply and then the class started so I didn’t think much of it until I was in the cafe after and saw her with her child who is definitely a boy.

I know feel super awkward about it as I think I might have come across a bit OTT about having a girl and I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

I was lying in bed replaying the conversation and i just keep cringing. I’m wondering if I need to apologize to her tomorrow or would it make it worse ??

There is quite a bit social side to my gym with lots of activities for mums and little ones which I know this Mum is very involved in so I really don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have any advice ?

OP posts:
Zov · 12/07/2026 13:54

Oh no, don't apologise. You should be allowed to be excited about having a girl, without being afraid of upsetting someone who has a boy. I know most women - it seems - are desperate for a daughter, but if she's not, and is happy with her son(s,) then no harm done. If she is desperate for a girl, then unfortunately, it's just one of those things. You should not be scared to celebrate your daughter for fear of offending.

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 13:53

Pickledonions12 · 12/07/2026 13:49

And it'd give everyone food poisoning 🙃

Perhaps she'll have twin girls and call them Sam and Ella 😁

Hobnobswantshernameback · 12/07/2026 13:51

If the OP comes back I'll eat my (pink) hat
has to be pink given I'm a girl

firstofallimadelight · 12/07/2026 13:50

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

firstofallimadelight · 12/07/2026 13:50

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

firstofallimadelight · 12/07/2026 13:50

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

firstofallimadelight · 12/07/2026 13:50

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

hugasaurus · 12/07/2026 13:50

What would you be rubbing in her face though? I don’t get it? Maybe she went away feeling sorry for you you were having a girl? Such a weird thread. What on earth did you say other than ‘I’m having a girl’ to then be worried about? Confused

I have two girls, never have I thought having them was superior to someone who had two boys, a girl and a boy, whatever.

Your baby isn’t even here yet anyway 🤷‍♀️

Hobnobswantshernameback · 12/07/2026 13:50

Ooh I'm so superior and made boy AND. girl babies.
Imagine being as awesome as me OP
🙄

Pickledonions12 · 12/07/2026 13:49

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 13:48

Yep.

This omelette could feed a whole village lol.

And it'd give everyone food poisoning 🙃

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 13:48

Hobnobswantshernameback · 12/07/2026 13:46

I think you may have over egged this OP

Yep.

This omelette could feed a whole village lol.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 12/07/2026 13:48

BlueMum16 · 12/07/2026 13:46

Why would she think you were being smug?

Your excited because you're having a girl. Others are excited to be pregnant.

Not sure why you would be smug or perception to be smug?

Clearly OP thinks having a boy is worse. Otherwise there is no reason to phrase it as “rubbing her face in it”. You don’t rub people’s faces in things that are good.

An apologise along the lines of “I’m sorry I rubbed it in your face that you have a boy, I didn’t mean to gloat about my superior girl” would go down like a cup of cold sick I think! And would be worse than any offence she might have taken from the original comments.

BitOutOfPractice · 12/07/2026 13:48

I have 2 girls. I remember a friend of a friend telling me how sorry she felt for me because I’d never experience the mother / son relationship. I thought she was unhinged but I wasn’t upset. I just nodded and smiled and I guess this woman will too.

Just a bit of advice on this thread, when you’re in a hole, stop digging!

Hobnobswantshernameback · 12/07/2026 13:46

I think you may have over egged this OP

fintangel · 12/07/2026 13:46

”Rubbing her face” in the fact she has a boy - like having a girl is better? Maybe she’s quite happy with her boy.

If you’d been like this to me I would’ve just written you off as one of those basic women who’s obsessed with getting her little princess mini me to take to get her nails done and dress in frilly dresses but I’m pretty sure wouldn’t have upset her.

UnwantedOpinionBelow · 12/07/2026 13:46

I would rather a boy personally and as long as you detailed it was YOUR preference, rather than girls being superior I don't see an issue.

I do find the trying multiple times until you get a girl very weird.

BeaPerry · 12/07/2026 13:46

Purpleharlow · 12/07/2026 13:43

What do you mean by you think you were rubbing her face in it? Rubbing her face in what?

There’s nothing wrong with being a mum to boys so nothing to ‘rub her face in’ 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

She’s probably highly amused at how smug you sounded.

I think OP’s behaviour was like the unpleasantness of rubbing someone’s face in their own glee / perceived good fortune !!

cringe for OP !!

Shelleyblueeyes · 12/07/2026 13:46

Alwayslurkingsometimesposting · 12/07/2026 13:41

Don't apologise; you'll make it more awkward! I love being a boy mum- smug girl mums dont affect me at all so she's probably the same. Don't worry about it. Just be normal next time you chat and stick to other, non- gender specific parenting topics

Me too. Boy mum 3 times over and the smugs don't bother me either. Just cos OP thinks having a girl is the be all and end all not everyone does.

She probably just thought you were a bit full on and didn't have time for that on that occasion.

Dont give it another thought x

loobylou10 · 12/07/2026 13:46

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Well said

BlueMum16 · 12/07/2026 13:46

Why would she think you were being smug?

Your excited because you're having a girl. Others are excited to be pregnant.

Not sure why you would be smug or perception to be smug?

Pickledonions12 · 12/07/2026 13:45

Smug to a boy mum? What the actual FUCK?

Tell you what.....this thread is weird as they come

nam3c4ang3 · 12/07/2026 13:45

wtf why would you do that - you sound really weird. She’ll prob give you a wide berth now anyway so don’t worry about it. And stop going on about having a girl in a crazy way!

SallyD00lally · 12/07/2026 13:44

Purpleharlow · 12/07/2026 13:43

What do you mean by you think you were rubbing her face in it? Rubbing her face in what?

There’s nothing wrong with being a mum to boys so nothing to ‘rub her face in’ 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

She’s probably highly amused at how smug you sounded.

Yeah exactly.

I'm cringing harder that the OP started this thread than what she actually said to the mother lol.

ChickenBananaBanana · 12/07/2026 13:44

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Betadelta · 12/07/2026 13:43

I think apologising will just draw more attention to it tbh!