AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

Well there is that …..

My sister would absolutely do this for my daughter. I’d do it for my nephew, even though he is 30. I find it strange that an auntie wouldn’t. All of these “she’s 18” “what if she worked somewhere else” comments are ridiculous. When did it become problematic to say family should help out family?

Is the DD at genuine risk or not? Is this a risk that is so high to the point that it does need to be accounted for and planned for as to not leave her alone or not?

So the aunt walks her up to the Uber because a woman apparently shouldn't be walking up to her Uber alone.

So who walks the aunt back to the pub or her car, if a woman shouldn't be walking alone?

Why did your dd take on this job if getting home via taxi at 3am is a problem?

Plus you say it's her Aunts pub - you do realise that there are jobs that the Aunt has to do when the last customer and staff have left don't you? She won't be going straight to bed!!

You say family should look out for each other - but you're not looking out for the Aunt are you!

I think we need more details here. If auntie is leaving at the same time and driving home somewhat near you, it would be reasonable to hope for / expect a lift. But it would be a very different matter if auntie hasn't finished work by then, or has to travel in a different direction.

How does your dd feel - does she feel unsafe going to get an Uber? why / anything to change that?

How about Auntie will walk up to her uber ? A compromise, after a long day for both .

That clearly doesn’t work in that scenario, but in a city centre bar which people are describing it as, I’m guessing there are more staff than just the two of them.

I was thinking more of my dd situation tbh, I don’t know the area in this case and maybe walking up to the taxi is perfectly safe as pp are saying

Concert square?

Hopefully this was at her request. I would find that smothering and stifling. Ive always travelled at night on my own to get home from late shifts or nights out.

I was always taught this was a bad thing to walk and talk on the phone- for one it gives opportunistic thieves an easy target to snatch the phone, and 2 it distracts you from your environment so you are less likely to notice someone walking behind you or waiting on a corner etc.

valuables out of sight, keys between your fingers, and stay aware of your surroundings.

her being on the phone is not going to decrease the chance of anything happing- in fact the opposite. And if it does, there’s fuck all you can do about it anyway, it’ll all be over by the time you or the police get there.

The issue here is OP clearly falls into the latter category; but expects someone else to do the keeping safe of the 18 year old, not herself.

I wonder if the 18 year old ever goes out in the evenings to bars, clubs, cinema, and manages to get herself home.

It’s so hard to get a Summer job so rather than moaning I’d be over the moon for your daughter and happy that this job is enabling her to earn money and gain independance

I still havent heard OP tell us what arrangements she is making with her daughter to get home if it bothers her so much?

I used to get the night bus home from central London at that age, on my own, I dont buy into all this 'lone woman cant travel at night' stuff. What do you think the thousands of 18 year olds are doing who are out clubbing and pubbing at that time when its time to go home?

I see threads like this and get confused. Are women safe from being attacked by a random stranger or are they not? I hear one person say "they are an adult.. they'll be fine. I managed since I was 11." And another saying they'd always want to protect their DD. What is it?

It's a very weird place if people think it's acceptable to take a job and assume you're going to get driven home at 3am without so much as asking, or having any kind of discussion whatsoever with the driver.

Auntie probably has jobs still to do when your DD clocks off. How long do you want Auntie's working days to be OP? They will already be much longer than DD's, and I imagine she works nearly every day.
You want her to add on providing regular lifts in the middle of the night?
I think you are living on another planet OP. Everything always seems "no bother" when it's not you who has to do it. Are yo utucked up in bed at 3 am?
Auntie is fulfilling her "family is family" duty by providing a job - she won't struggle for applicants.

@ThunderThunderThunderThunderCats I thought the same. I’ve been in Liverpool city centre late at night and never felt unsafe.

If it’s anything like my local, the shift manager is leaving 30-45 minutes after the bar staff because they have to close (financially) on the computer system, lock away money preparing float for next day, then turn off all systems before fully locking down the building. I was asked if I would join the team as I live 5 minutes walk away so would be perfect for this.

I think employers should take some responsibility to ensure their employees get to their taxi or car safely at 3am

So as a lone woman, the staff member's aunt should walk her to her taxi so that a lone woman doesn't have to walk to a taxi?

What then?

Who's going to walk the lone woman back to the pub or her car?

Exactly what @BitOutOfPractice said.

Mumsnet is a weird place sometimes.

I think employers should take some responsibility to ensure their employees get to their taxi or car safely at 3am, but not more than that. Dd worked in a bar in a “nice” small town and had to park around 5 min walk away, next to a park, or further away but pass the park. I used to stay on the phone to her whilst she walked, which was better than nothing but still not great. It’s too easy for people to see a pattern of employees leaving the bar alone.

My friend worked in a local pub she could walk home from. I don’t think it’s her auntys responsibility to give her a lift back. Maybe she could look for a daytime job instead? I loved shop work as I could always catch the bus back. Whereas factory and pub work had very late shifts.

I wouldn't say concert square was rough, just a couple of minutes walk down to Hanover Street, that's a pretty safe place to wait for an Uber, it'll be heaving round there, especially that early, my dd's generally don't start making their way home til 5am. I'd be more worried about them making their way home at midnight from somewhere more local.

It's not rough. It's a busy part of the city centre which has lots of bars, clubs and restaurants. It's just like the city centre in Manchester, Glasgow, Bristol...