AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

For the “bosses should pay for taxis” crowd - do you think the public sector workers should also have taxis paid for? Medical staff and police often start / end shifts when public transport isn’t available.

I personally think adults should be responsible for their own commuting and I particularly can’t bear the idea that women are too stupid to do this and need extra protection.

You should have had this conversation before the daughter took the job if it was going to bother you. You suspiciously refuse to divide where the aunt lives in relation to where your daughter lives and his much ball ache it is to take your daughter home. You also need to face take fact that the aunt can't just lock up and go as soon as it hits 2am and your daughter likely doesn't want to wait around.

I question whether the aunt is always on that late shift with your daughter or you expect her to drive to work at that hour just to pick her up and drive her home?

Nepotism isn't a nice thing in the workplace either and what you have to think about is what happens if something happens to another member of staff going home one day and then it gets thrown in the aunts face that she takes her niece home but leaves everyone else to get themselves home.

I get that you’re worried but she’s 18. If she were working in any other bar she’d be expected to find a way home. That’s how the world works. You have to let her grow up sometime. If she really doesn’t like it she’ll need to find another job with suitable hours

@Littlek0406 I would ring a local taxi firm and arrange for a female driver to collect her, and make it a permanent regular booking if you know the shifts she works.

Exactly what @Livpoolsaid, then 😂

Re read her comment.
She says because your DD won't be drunk (implicitly because she's on her way home from work, not a night out) she will be at less risk than all the other people there who are drunk

Just seen where it is, Concert Square will still be heaving. My cousin’s DH works that area as a police officer. Said it is the same as everywhere else in the city centre.

i get she is your daughter OP, so you’re worried but the risk is greatly reduced by her not being off her face, like a lot of the people.

I was thinking the same thing. Plus, town is going to be busy at that time so it’s not like she’s walking around empty steeets. I am 46 so my late nights out are over but when I was out until 3/4 in the morning there were also lots of police officers about too.

When I was 16-18 I worked in a little chef/Burger King (shows my age)
literally in the middle of nowhere in Somerset. (Yep, it was a dogging site!)
I used to finish 2-3am and my brother or parents would pick me up.

at 18-20 I used to work in a nightclub in a city. They supplied taxis for all staff. Usually 3-4 people sharing a taxi but all organised and paid for by them.

I guess it depends on the size of business? At 18 they’d be expected to drive themself or sort transport themselves?

if she could easily drop her home on her own way back then that’s poor form.

Are you expecting the owner of any pub she works in to give her a lift home at the end of the shift? Clearly she can’t do that! If she did it for your daughter she’d have to do it for any employee otherwise it would be seen as treating family members favourably to other employees

But she's not trying to find her way home, she's in a busy city centre, there's an abundance of taxis and Uber pick up areas within less than a 5 minute walk(down a busy street). She is not wondering aimlessly trying to figure out how to get home

But as has been pointed out many times in the thread, it's not everyone's experience, so it's not really relevant to the situation.

And again, most staff are bright enough to check before accepting the job.

Not my experience. If female staff are finishing as late as 3am then the manager/owner would normally arrange a taxi, usually with several staff members in it. They get tax relief for this.

I worked in a pub. I made my own way home. Employers don’t usually act as cabs.

She needs to work it out.

How do other young staff get home?
I wonder if she doesn't give her a lift as it seems like favouritism and then others would say that they should have transport home included.

Now she has the bar experience maybe she should look for a job elsewhere, either still in a pub or perhaps doing something else with day time hours and walking distance.

But what does any of this have to do with an employee not checking they'll be getting a lift home, before they accept the job?

I've worked in hospitality a lot with late night shifts included. The proprietor/manager would normally organise a taxi to take staff home, especially female workers. They can claim tax exemptions on the taxi fare. The Health & Safety Executive guidelines say that protocols should be discussed for night workers, in particular female ones, before they take up the job. If there is more than one night worker it would be normal for them all to share the same taxi, adding another layer of safety. It's not a good idea for a woman at 3am to be trying to find her way home alone.

I mean yabu because if this employer wasn't her Auntie surely you'd not be expecting them to give her a lift home and therefore she'd have to sort her own way home but I do understand why you feel concerned and I know that I'd not be letting my niece go home on her own when I'm there and able to give a lift.

You will either have to accept she needs to sort her own way home or you'll have to start going to get her yourself.

Well that doesn't mean the aunt should do it just because someone else somewhere can afford to.

And if it was so important to the OP's DD, she should've discussed getting home before accepting the job.

Littlek- apparently most of the people answering your question here got up on the wrong side of the bed or had a spat with the DP and çan refer to you as a CF but not him.

I think you made an assumption that isn't going to happen. Sit down with your daughter and make some plans about how transport will be handled in the future.

London kindness here. When my daughter was a student and worked at a local pub with function rooms if her shift finished after a function at say 2am the manager would always pay for ubers for all staff due to being so late and no other transport available to get them hone safely.

You say you were under the impression that her auntie would be giving her lifts home but…why? Did her auntie say that she would? Or did you just assume?

Did your daughter agree anything with her Aunt, at the time she took the job? Yes, you could say that your daughter being her niece, then it would have been nice of her Aunt to have given her a lift home considering the time.

However, once your daughter finishes, I'd imagine her Aunt has jobs that need to be done, once the bar staff leave. It may be a case, that her Aunt simply doesn't have the time to give your daughter a lift, because that would then delay her finishing too.

The issue is, if your daughter worked in any other bar/pub, she'd be expected to get herself to and from work. It wouldn't be her employer's responsibility to give her a lift home or organise a taxi for her...or pay for one.

It's unfortunate that a taxi can't pull up outside the pub, and your daughter needs to walk a short distance. Her best bet would be to order the taxi, wait inside the pub and then walk to where she needs to meet the taxi. She's then minimising the time she's outside on her own.

What sort of weirdness is this?

An employer should be paying staff the same wage as the rest of the staff doing the same job.

Whether the employee spends part of that wage on getting an Uber, a bus or running their own car is entirely down to them.

It's nothing to do with the employer.