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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect my daughter’s auntie to ensure she gets home safely at 3am?

208 replies

Littlek0406 · 12/07/2026 12:17

My DD who has just turned 18 is expected to get home by herself and her Auntie run pub. I’m talking about 3 o’clock finishes, in a national chain of pubs, in a rough area in city Centre Liverpool.

I was expecting her Auntie to drop her off when she had 3 o’clock finishes, but no she’s expected to walk up and get an Uber. I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

I can’t say anything because myself and her father are split up and it would end up being a massive argument. I would be saying as a father, she should be dropping her off 😡

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 11:47

Littlek0406 · 12/07/2026 14:37

@Shinyandnew1
I pay for Uber so I don’t know where you get the idea from that Auntie has to pay for the taxis!

@Passaggressfedup
No, she does not,

I’m not entitled and not a cheeky fucker and to do wait up for her weekend, I couldn’t go to sleep if my daughter wasn’t in!

Again, thank you for all your responses. Have a lovely sunny Sunday.

I wasn’t saying the aunt would pay for an Uber, I was saying you’re expecting the aunt to pay for your daughter’s transport home. Which you are-by expecting the aunt to use her time, use of car, petrol/tax/insurance to get her from work to home, whilst your daughter just sits there.

That is cheeky.

Cosyblankets · 14/07/2026 11:44

I did a few bar jobs 30odd years ago. Some did staff taxis some didn't

MrsShawnHatosy · 14/07/2026 11:40

WhateverMate · 12/07/2026 12:31

How strange that you think it's unusual not to offer this???

In all my 57 years (and many of them working in pubs) I have literally never come across it.

Do you live very rurally?

Show quote history

My DB had a summer job when he was at uni in a city centre burger place. We lived in the suburbs but not rural. They arranged staff taxis for the late shift. This would have been around 40 years ago.

Powerbungalow · 14/07/2026 11:27

Shinyandnew1 · 12/07/2026 13:15

You can get an uber to meet her at 3am. You’re not paying to run, insure and put petrol in a car, so it should be fine. Don’t assume that other people should pay to transport you or your relatives to and from work.

Yeah - OP you can take an uber, meet your DD and then come home together

Powerbungalow · 14/07/2026 11:27

Littlek0406 · 12/07/2026 13:14

@millymollymoomoo
Thank you 🌸 families are supposed to look out for one another, finally someone who agrees with me!

I’m not a cheeky fucker at all, but I would give her daughter a lift home!

But you CANT!

So why think you would offer! You literally never can! (unless rules change or your illness does!)

I'd give anyone ever who needed a lift in my helicopter, but I cannot fly a helicopter, and I dont have one, but I definitely would give anyone life anytime. So if you have a helicopter and a licence and you dont take me where ever and when ever I want to go, you are out of order

MargaretThursday · 13/07/2026 19:04

I've got an idea. The Op can volunteer to work for free on the same shifts as her dd/
That way she can walk back with her dd, or get an Uber together and she can be happy that her dd is safe.

I'm sure she won't mind working for free. After all, family is family and if it helps family out, the Op has said she would do that.

Mama2many73 · 13/07/2026 16:08

Frequency · 12/07/2026 12:26

All the pubs worked in had staff taxis for those who didn't drive. Usually, there'd be 2 taxis booked at the end of each night, and staff would arrange for themselves who got in which taxi based on where they lived.

Does the aunt not offer this? It's very unusual for a pub, ime.

When our son worked in pubs late night this was the norm.
However an fd was working in a nearby city and her uber home was a large percentage of her wage!

Arlanymor · 13/07/2026 15:32

BoredZelda · 13/07/2026 10:25

She already said she used to drive.

Show quote history

Yes but she can't now - so saying that she would do the same in a reversed situation is nonsense isn't. She can't reciprocate. I would like to be scrum half for Wales, but I am 47 with screwed sinuses, so unlikely to get the call up! I USED to play rugby - for 20 years in fact - but it doesn't make me championship material now.

Livpool · 13/07/2026 14:36

Littlek0406 · 13/07/2026 11:06

Sorry @Livpool 🙄

No worries!

Livpool · 13/07/2026 14:36

Littlek0406 · 12/07/2026 20:01

@Livpool She’s working not getting off her face!

I think you have misunderstood what I said then, or I said it wrong. I know she is working.

Original poster
Littlek0406 · 13/07/2026 11:06

Sorry @Livpool 🙄

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 13/07/2026 10:48

ginasevern · 12/07/2026 16:30

Not my experience. If female staff are finishing as late as 3am then the manager/owner would normally arrange a taxi, usually with several staff members in it. They get tax relief for this.

Show quote history

Oh, well this was years ago. The club I worked in ended at 2am then clearing up. I had to get a cab home or walk.

MrsKeats · 13/07/2026 10:46

I would be worried about this too as a fellow scouser op.
Defo dodgy around Concert Square at 3am.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/07/2026 10:46

When you say ‘family is family’ op, does this go both ways? Or just in your direction? You want a weekly lift which will take X amount of time for your exsil. So do you allocate the same X amount of time to helping her out on a weekly basis with something you can do?

Followthesunshine · 13/07/2026 10:42

After just turning 18 I was living away from home at university working late in bars, as are thousands of other 18 years olds. We didn't have Mummy finding us jobs and expecting others to get us home.

WhateverMate · 13/07/2026 10:29

BoredZelda · 13/07/2026 10:25

Doesn’t answer the question.

Show quote history

It answers it very concisely.

You just aren't happy with the answer.

BoredZelda · 13/07/2026 10:27

Shinyandnew1 · 12/07/2026 22:31

Do you want the aunt to take just your daughter home, or all of the staff?

Presumably just the person who is family. If you are suggesting the Aunt treats her niece exactly the same way as every other member of staff, I’d say that’s unlikely.

BoredZelda · 13/07/2026 10:25

Arlanymor · 13/07/2026 10:09

You can't say: I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

When you can't drive! (No shade, my friend also cannot drive due to epilepsy.)

But it's bizarre to say you would do something if the situation was reversed when you physically cannot do it. Why say that? Meaningless.

She already said she used to drive.

BoredZelda · 13/07/2026 10:25

WhateverMate · 12/07/2026 14:12

When did it become problematic to say family should help out family?

As soon as the family member takes the piss and accepts a job without so much as checking with the driver if they're happy to give them a lift home.

Show quote history

Doesn’t answer the question.

SuddenLightbulb · 13/07/2026 10:13

Littlek0406 · 12/07/2026 13:39

Thank you for all your input - but we don’t seem to have the same opinion about family being family which is beyond me.

@BitOutOfPractice @millymollymoomoo
Thank you so much 🌸

So you’re saying that you wouldn’t expect your SIL to drive all her employees home at 3 am, just your daughter? And who is closing up the pub, doing the normal end of night tasks? One of the other employees who’s not getting a lift home from your SIL?

Arlanymor · 13/07/2026 10:09

You can't say: I would give her daughter a lift home without a question.

When you can't drive! (No shade, my friend also cannot drive due to epilepsy.)

But it's bizarre to say you would do something if the situation was reversed when you physically cannot do it. Why say that? Meaningless.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/07/2026 09:12

op - do you understand now how completely meaningless it is to say ‘I would if I could’ about something you firstly have zero idea if you would or not, having never been in the situation; and secondly can never offer?

also, I think when you sent out on a rant as you have done, I always think it’s wise to think through to the end result of your wants. If you get what you want and the auntie goes out of her way at 3am to lift your dd home; then the end result is your auntie realising it would be easier to get a different employee who doesn’t require a lift home. There is currently no shortage of 18 year olds anywhere in the UK looking for unskilled work. She could replace your dd in a heartbeat. So she has actually been really kind giving your dd a job.

Shinyandnew1 · 12/07/2026 22:31

Do you want the aunt to take just your daughter home, or all of the staff?

musicandmen · 12/07/2026 22:25

She’s a member of staff not her niece when at work. So she needs to sort herself getting home

HalzTangz · 12/07/2026 22:20

Why can't see ask other staff to share a cab or gift her a lift home for petrol contribution? Why do you think she's entitled to a lift just because she's related to the boss

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