Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel daft for thinking he liked me (no reply!)

87 replies

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:27

Without going into detail, I’ve been working on a major production over summer. I befriended several of the team including an actor.

at first I just thought lovely guy, we would walk to work together sometimes and hit it off (for the record he’s not famous yet but up and coming). I thought he might like me but I wasn’t sure until my final days on set I noticed he was putting out feelers with affection and flirting. I hadn’t seen him doing this with others.

Finally at the wrap party we were chatting and he asked if I’d wait for him while he collected his things from the dressing room. I did and we left together but I then had to catch the last train. I asked to take his details to stay in touch and he said yes he would give me his number which he then put in my phone.

I messaged something light hearted a couple of days ago and nothing! I just feel a bit silly. I usually won’t message unless I’m sure there’s something and he’s the first guy I’ve felt anything for after my break up.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 12/07/2026 11:42

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:36

@Bestfootforward11 thank you. It’s true that he’s got more productions under his belt so maybe he’s used to this. It is a very intense time then you all part ways.

Because we connected and I know he’s lives in my city I thought it was worth a try. I’ll try not to feel silly!

It's never silly to be the bold one. I hope you get a response, but even if you don't, it's no reflection on you at all. I think we should all be a bit more bold. Imagine if you were bold with three people and didn't just pin hopes on one - I know people you fancy aren't easy to come by, believe me! - but fun things can happen when you throw a bit of caution to the wind!

Foughties · 12/07/2026 11:41
  • sorry, NOT follow through.
Foughties · 12/07/2026 11:40

In my experience this can be a certain type of man who love the attention and adoration and the game. They will both follow through. Its about them taking and not giving. You're probably better off out of it. Or they have someone else.

HesterLeggatt · 12/07/2026 11:39

Honestly, this is how productions are - everyone is family, closest friends, let’s stay in touch whilst production is on, and then everyone moves on to the next thing and gets instant new besties and connections.

It’s vanishingly rare that people form genuinely lasting friendships this way. I worked in the industry for several decades and it’s just the way things are.

SaraHoliday · 12/07/2026 11:37

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:33

Yes I have my name. I also sent him a link to a documentary we were chatting about that he said he wanted to watch. It’s definitely him in the WhatsApp photo so no dummy number at least!

he’s still working flat out and I know he’s off tomorrow. So maybe I’ll still hear. But if not I don’t know what to think, makes me feel I can’t read romantic situations anymore.

See what happens tomorrow then. If there's no contact tomorrow, just move on. Don't waste your time on someone who is sub-par.

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:36

@Bestfootforward11 thank you. It’s true that he’s got more productions under his belt so maybe he’s used to this. It is a very intense time then you all part ways.

Because we connected and I know he’s lives in my city I thought it was worth a try. I’ll try not to feel silly!

OP posts:
Bestfootforward11 · 12/07/2026 11:34

Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong. You asked to stay in touch and sent a light hearted message. He may or may not reply but don’t take it personally. I imagine on productions people spend a lot of time together but then move on and it would be very hard to keep in touch with everyone. It sounds like he liked you but maybe as the production has finished feels like that chapter has closed. It doesn’t mean he didn’t feel anything for you at the time, just that life moves on. See what happens. But don’t feel embarrassed or anything.

SaraHoliday · 12/07/2026 11:34

the80sweregreat · 12/07/2026 11:32

Ahh, it is sad isn’t it when they don’t make an effort.

No effort. No date. Don't waste time.

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:33

SaraHoliday · 12/07/2026 11:30

Would he know the message was from you i.e. is your number saved on his phone? Did you sign off the message with your name? x

Yes I have my name. I also sent him a link to a documentary we were chatting about that he said he wanted to watch. It’s definitely him in the WhatsApp photo so no dummy number at least!

he’s still working flat out and I know he’s off tomorrow. So maybe I’ll still hear. But if not I don’t know what to think, makes me feel I can’t read romantic situations anymore.

OP posts:
the80sweregreat · 12/07/2026 11:32

Ahh, it is sad isn’t it when they don’t make an effort.

Arlanymor · 12/07/2026 11:30

Different people have different texting styles though. The sun is shining, the football is on, people have competing priorities. I know people come on here and say: "But if they REALLY like you, they will make the time." But in real life, people can like other people and still be busy! I hope he gets back to you soon, but I'd keep myself busy and not ruminate in the meantime.

SaraHoliday · 12/07/2026 11:30

Would he know the message was from you i.e. is your number saved on his phone? Did you sign off the message with your name? x

Swipe left for the next trending thread