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Original poster

To feel daft for thinking he liked me (no reply!)

87 replies

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:27

Without going into detail, I’ve been working on a major production over summer. I befriended several of the team including an actor.

at first I just thought lovely guy, we would walk to work together sometimes and hit it off (for the record he’s not famous yet but up and coming). I thought he might like me but I wasn’t sure until my final days on set I noticed he was putting out feelers with affection and flirting. I hadn’t seen him doing this with others.

Finally at the wrap party we were chatting and he asked if I’d wait for him while he collected his things from the dressing room. I did and we left together but I then had to catch the last train. I asked to take his details to stay in touch and he said yes he would give me his number which he then put in my phone.

I messaged something light hearted a couple of days ago and nothing! I just feel a bit silly. I usually won’t message unless I’m sure there’s something and he’s the first guy I’ve felt anything for after my break up.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 12/07/2026 12:30

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:47

Yes it’s reminded me there’s no point thinking ‘this one is different…’ until they actually prove they are!

the moment I asked for his number I just realised I’d hate to never see him again. Which may happen anyway but at least I tried.

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He would be "the different one" if he took your details and said he wanted to keep in touch, and showed he meant it.

Just putting his details in your phone is very passive and didn't indicate any motivation.

It was him saying "here's MY phone number for YOU to call me" and not "may I have YOUR details as I'd love to keep in touch". Quite a difference.

pinkdelight · 12/07/2026 12:30

Honestly, this is how productions are - everyone is family, closest friends, let’s stay in touch whilst production is on, and then everyone moves on to the next thing and gets instant new besties and connections.

This is very true, and I suspected OP was new to the industry before she said so. It's an intense time with creative folk and lots of connections can feel meaningful, but then the busy ones are off to the next shoot and do it again.

Occasionally people make more lasting connections but generally it's just part of the rush of production and things quickly fizzle, especially with actors who love to be adored and can be very disarming. It's rarely 'real' though, not in a malicious way, just in the sense that they aren't looking for a relationship.

You were wise not to sleep with him and focus on your career instead. Some good relationships form on set, but generally the better thing is to date a 'civilian' so you've got someone steady to ground you through all the ups and downs.

Original poster
ScullyD · 12/07/2026 12:22

@BillieWiper well he might. It’s not illegal as we haven’t even been on a date yet.

I’ll leave it until tomorrow and then mentally decide to move on. At least I have my spark back and was bold enough to ask, has to be a win right? 🙂

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 12/07/2026 12:11

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 12:02

see I don’t think I misread the flirting. It felt quite intentional, like ‘oh he’s trying to let me know he likes me’. Could be he’s not single but he never mentioned a partner (whereas other actors did and I met many of them at the party).

but even if he wanted to stay in touch for work that’s not going to happen either if he doesn’t reply 😂 who knows!

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Yeah I guess leave it for a bit. But he might be flirting with multiple women?

Original poster
ScullyD · 12/07/2026 12:05

OrsinoAndOlivia · 12/07/2026 12:01

Are you very young OP? You chose to catch a train instead of seeing where the night went and working out how to get home later or in the morning. He was probably after sex. Both decisions are fine but you made a decision that night and this is the outcome. Some men are like that.

I had an important work meeting in the morning so I had to be back home.

also we were filming in the middle of nowhere and every pub had just closed. I didn’t want to just go back and shag him frankly. I thought we live in the same city so if we want to get together soon we can.

im also newer to the industry and felt shagging him would be a bad look for my career then and there (but may not matter if we connected later).

OP posts:
Original poster
ScullyD · 12/07/2026 12:02

BillieWiper · 12/07/2026 11:59

You may have misread the flirting and he just wanted to keep in touch for work/possible friendship?
Or he's not single?
Or he's just busy and you'll hear from him?

I wouldn't dwell on it though.

see I don’t think I misread the flirting. It felt quite intentional, like ‘oh he’s trying to let me know he likes me’. Could be he’s not single but he never mentioned a partner (whereas other actors did and I met many of them at the party).

but even if he wanted to stay in touch for work that’s not going to happen either if he doesn’t reply 😂 who knows!

OP posts:
IThrewASnakeAtPalomaFaithsFace · 12/07/2026 12:01

RoseOliviaAu · 12/07/2026 12:00

Up and coming actor? Probably not after a commitment…

Yes. I don't think you've met him at a point in his life where he's looking to settle down OP.

OrsinoAndOlivia · 12/07/2026 12:01

Are you very young OP? You chose to catch a train instead of seeing where the night went and working out how to get home later or in the morning. He was probably after sex. Both decisions are fine but you made a decision that night and this is the outcome. Some men are like that.

RoseOliviaAu · 12/07/2026 12:00

Up and coming actor? Probably not after a commitment…

Mydahliasareshit · 12/07/2026 11:59

Some men weed themselves out right at the start, and I've come to the conclusion we should be grateful, not sad, even though in the moment of course it's disappointing. 🌻

Original poster
ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:59

Seasonofthesticks · 12/07/2026 11:55

I realise you’re not in love with this guy, but look up what Ethan hawke says on being “the one in love”. It helped me when I had more feelings for someone than they had for me!

love Ethan Hawke! Think I remember seeing f this on social media I’ll look it up properly thank you 🙂

OP posts:
SunnyRedSnail · 12/07/2026 11:59

@ScullyD some times you have to be persistent!

Perhaps he is a scatter brain like me who gets a message when busy, thinks "I'll reply later" then totally forgets!?

If you don't hear back, then you could always message again and be direct, ask if he would like to meet up for a drink.

If you get ignored a second time then there's your answer...

BillieWiper · 12/07/2026 11:59

You may have misread the flirting and he just wanted to keep in touch for work/possible friendship?
Or he's not single?
Or he's just busy and you'll hear from him?

I wouldn't dwell on it though.

Original poster
ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:55

IThrewASnakeAtPalomaFaithsFace · 12/07/2026 11:53

I am old and cynical so I'm going to be blunt. He probably wanted to sleep with you that night so was turning on the charm. When he realised you were looking for something more relationship-y, he dropped it.

I think that’s a possibility because he asked if I was staying the night or going home.

He wasn’t like some cad though, we did a few nature walks together between work so it did feel genuine.

i think - I’ll see if he messages on his day off then it’s a no. Already seems like a no but that would be definite to me.

OP posts:
Seasonofthesticks · 12/07/2026 11:55

I realise you’re not in love with this guy, but look up what Ethan hawke says on being “the one in love”. It helped me when I had more feelings for someone than they had for me!

Arlanymor · 12/07/2026 11:54

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:46

I’ll try to take this from it! This time a year ago my confidence was a rock bottom and I was crying every day over a break up. I’ve come a long way since then.

I just didn’t expect him to not reply. I’ll be ok in a few days but it stings in the moment.

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Oh love - just use this experience as another bit of metal for your armour! (Or should that be amour?!) Sounds like you've run a daily marathon to have got so far - I totally get the stinging, but luckily stings are only surface-level. Maybe look for a few dock leaves to alleviate the agitation... by which I mean other blokes!

AgnesX · 12/07/2026 11:53

ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:36

@Bestfootforward11 thank you. It’s true that he’s got more productions under his belt so maybe he’s used to this. It is a very intense time then you all part ways.

Because we connected and I know he’s lives in my city I thought it was worth a try. I’ll try not to feel silly!

Don't feel bad or silly, it doesn't sound as if you read it wrong (being disappointed is normal). Just put it down to experience. C'est la vie.

IThrewASnakeAtPalomaFaithsFace · 12/07/2026 11:53

I am old and cynical so I'm going to be blunt. He probably wanted to sleep with you that night so was turning on the charm. When he realised you were looking for something more relationship-y, he dropped it.

TheChosenTwo · 12/07/2026 11:51

You feel how you feel, it’s not daft to have emotions.
You may have misread the situation but equally you may not have.
You made a move and he’s not responded. That gives you all the information you need to put him out of your mind as an option.
But you’re not daft to have thought there may have been potential and now be disappointed to realise there isn’t any. 💐

Karma2023 · 12/07/2026 11:50

the moment I asked for his number I just realised I’d hate to never see him again

Did you ask for his number? Give yourself a few days but then move on. Don't dwell on him.

the80sweregreat · 12/07/2026 11:49

Years ago I’d have to wait for my landline to ring and it never did ! At least with mobiles you can get the message a lot sooner and if someone isn’t making an effort you can block and move on and have more of an idea. Some people like playing games too. Don’t let them mess you about op.

SaraHoliday · 12/07/2026 11:48

SaraHoliday · 12/07/2026 11:37

See what happens tomorrow then. If there's no contact tomorrow, just move on. Don't waste your time on someone who is sub-par.

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It's a good insight into his character. Let us know what the outcome is x

Original poster
ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:47

Bonkers1966 · 12/07/2026 11:44

You did nothing wrong. Fair play to you for keeping an open mind and heart. Men can be unreliable in matters of the heart and loins.

Yes it’s reminded me there’s no point thinking ‘this one is different…’ until they actually prove they are!

the moment I asked for his number I just realised I’d hate to never see him again. Which may happen anyway but at least I tried.

OP posts:
Original poster
ScullyD · 12/07/2026 11:46

Arlanymor · 12/07/2026 11:42

It's never silly to be the bold one. I hope you get a response, but even if you don't, it's no reflection on you at all. I think we should all be a bit more bold. Imagine if you were bold with three people and didn't just pin hopes on one - I know people you fancy aren't easy to come by, believe me! - but fun things can happen when you throw a bit of caution to the wind!

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I’ll try to take this from it! This time a year ago my confidence was a rock bottom and I was crying every day over a break up. I’ve come a long way since then.

I just didn’t expect him to not reply. I’ll be ok in a few days but it stings in the moment.

OP posts:
Bonkers1966 · 12/07/2026 11:44

You did nothing wrong. Fair play to you for keeping an open mind and heart. Men can be unreliable in matters of the heart and loins.

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