AIBU to feel upset by comments about being a one-child family?

Ask her if she’s saying yours is improper!

Ignore ignorant people. I’m an only, my mother was an only and I have an only too. It’s ridiculous how biased people are.

It depends how you are defining a proper family. If it is one where eveyone loves and supports each other and enjoys spending time together, then we with our only child are more of a 'proper' family than my two child family growing up!
Maybe they regret having that second child and have to console themselves with being a 'proper family'.

Ok …

Wtf that is so messed up. I have two and want more (probably wont happen) but never would I think this.

I’m three years in to having more than one and JUST started to not regret it everyday!

I have 4 children OP and people don’t like that either. I say fuck the lot of them wherever they sit on the snotty judgy pants scale 🖕🏻.

It's a silly thing to say

I think the half arsed and ill informed opinion of one person isn’t worth a crock of shit.

We had so many comments like this when our only DS was younger. From friends, workmates and strangers! It happened so often-maybe I’m seen as a soft touch or too nice but I’m not sure why people felt compelled to comment on our family size or ask why we stopped at one. We were out for dinner with close friends and they brought up that only children were selfish I think on three occasions-WTF? I stopped meeting up with them after that as it was so upsetting.
I mulled over the comments for far too long and it really affected the first 5 or 6 years of my DS’s childhood as in I felt sad and guilty.
Now he is 16 we haven’t had a comment for years and he is so happy to be an only. As am I!
My only advice is people are dicks and you can really only control your reaction to these comments. Don’t let them in like I did. Enjoy your small, perfectly formed family!

Of course you have a "real" family.
Sometimes I wonder if people who say that regret having more than one. Why else would they say it?

Absolutely agree with this!

Ignore silly comments OP. We are also one and done by choice and I have never regretted it. And of course some people can't have more than one, or their much loved child dies.

I don't know why people feel you need to justify only having one child. It's not like going through a pregnancy is an easy process for most of us and that's before they are even born!

I had 4 siblings. I wish id been an only child. Competing with the others for resources and parental time was awful. My mother ' gave' us siblings in her words. She wanted lots of kids none of us kids asked for them. I had to look after my younger sibling which I resented,having to go to bed really early so they'd go to sleep without a fuss. My older sibling had to look after both of us until I was older which she hated. There was so much competition and resentment. No one asked us if we wanted another sibling. We'd of all said no. Obviously theres a lot of larger families that worked brilliantly but theres a lot that didn't. My mother had to work as well as my dad to pay for us so we never saw her and my dad resented us because we " took" his money and mums time. Also there are favourites with a big family who get more than others. We aren't close either we never have been. I know this is a bigger than 2 siblings example but its rarely like the Waltons.

What a strange thing to say. I can't imagine telling someone their family isn't a proper one. Just ignore this odd character.

Ridiculous comment. Our 25 year old DD is intelligent, adventurous and sociable.
When she was smaller, she definitely wanted a sibling.
Since being about 9 she said unprompted tht she's glad she is the sole one.

I could have made my peace with having one. I certainly don’t regret having DS2 at 40, but I could have been happy with just DS1.

YABU to be upset and take personally a ridiculous statement like that. Who cares?

Some people are still banging on mothers not being real mothers if they didn't have a "real" birth (but c-section) or didn't breast-feed 😂😂. Idiots don't deserve your upset.

Younger kids need a lot more time and attention from their parents because you can't send them to play with their siblings, and you work harder to make sure they have a social life so your house is the open house for playdates and parties! It's fantastic for kids to have a friend who is a single child. Parents also tend to invite a friend to outings to entertain their child, and friends get along a lot better than many siblings.

When they grow up, they have the entire budget, and don't have to decline trips or holidays or clubs, because there's no siblings to share the pot with.

There's nothing negative in having a single child when you are an involved parent.

Yes I had those comments before we had DS2 as there is a 8 year age gap. Questions about when a sibling would be appearing began when DS1 was about 3. SIL did once say something like ‘ you don’t know what parenting is really like until you’ve got two’, and then apologised. She knew I’d had one mc, but not the other two.

We went on to have DS2, but I was thick- skinned enough to push back hard before. I started replying ‘your guess is as good as mine, I’ve just had my third mc’ or similar. I decided it would hopefully teach them never to say it to someone who might be less tough than me.

A minority of people will make idiotic comments regardless. Happily childfree? Oh, you must be so unfulfilled/you're not a proper woman.
Two of the same sex? Oh you must try for the opposite sex.
Three or more kids? How irresponsible, you are destroying the planet.
It's impossible to please all of the people, all of the time, so just ignore it.

YANBU

I briefly wanted siblings in my teens but only so I could go out with imaginary brother's hot friends.

Othee than that, not so much. A couple of my oldest friends are also only children and about the most gregarious people I know.

In the 1980s I used to get called 'spoilt" all the time and was made to feel it was a real failing of my parents to have only the one child and in their mid 30s. By the time I was at sixth form college it was much more normal or regular within the group I mixed with.

Who said it to you?

We are one and done by 💯 choice. No reason we couldn’t have more, just decided we didn’t want to Works well for our family. We are a team of 3. DD says she is glad she doesn’t have siblings. We love our « proper » little family

What a ridiculous comment.
We just have the one and it was an active decision.
We are definitely a family, why wouldn’t we be?
DS is thriving and I know that we have been able to give him far more opportunities and attention because he’s an only child.

We had only one child, who is now a 30 years old adult. I don't think I ever heard anybody making such crass comments and would have given them short shrift if I had.

I am sure our DD had a happy childhood and was well supported with a loving family, grandparents, wider family and friends. She certainly now seems to have grown into a happy, well-balanced adult and we have a great relationship.

Anyway, it seems more and more common these days for people to have just one child so you might find you are the new normal for family.