Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding money how much?

137 replies

narcASD · 12/07/2026 03:13

My godson is getting married and the couple have asked for money.
I rarely see him but am close to his mum who is my cousin.
4 of us going, husband, myself and my two kids (10&14).
The meal is £230 per head (my cousin told me, same price for kids).

i read that money should cover food and drinks but i don't have over £800 to give!
i was thinking £200 is that mean?

OP posts:
amylou8 · 12/07/2026 06:34

£100 is fine. £200 is generous. It's their choice to have such an expensive wedding.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 12/07/2026 06:30

Gosh thats a fancy wedding!
At £230 per head for food they must be well off so you might be better off getting them an actual gift (either something sentimental or experiential)

I think if you arent rolling it and it's just you £200 is more than fine

You'll be told on here £50 is fine (& maybe it is 🤷🏻‍♀️) My family is Irish though and we've a more generous culture i think vs brits.
Eg. My dm gave her godson £
€1k when he married 20 years ago (and shes not that wealthy). I went to my cousin wedding about 6 years ago we gave her €400 as a couple and that was fairly unremarkable ie. No one was like WOW thats insanely generous.

momager22 · 12/07/2026 06:00

I usually do £100. But only if I can afford it - it’s not upto guests to cover the cost of the wedding!
I’ve spent hundreds just going to weddings recently, with transport, hotels, clothing etc. I’d just have to say no if the expectation is to pay £250/ guest -
could go on holiday for that!

MsIceSandwich · 12/07/2026 05:57

£200 is fine. Covering your plate is absolute nonsense, it's entirely their choice to have an expensive meal and it's not for the guests to pay for it.

Tourmalines · 12/07/2026 05:49

£150 sounds just about right . £50 is measly .

SpottyPyjama · 12/07/2026 05:16

£200 is very generous, I dint even think you need to give that much. The figure you were quoted probably includes more than the meal alone, but you aren’t obliged to cover the cost of a meal that someone else has chosen for you anyway.

user1492757084 · 12/07/2026 05:06

Give only what you can afford.

200 is very generous.

Couples and their parents only spend as much as they can afford on a wedding. It is not up to guests to reimburse them the cost.

passwordpalaver · 12/07/2026 05:02

£230?? That’s a crazy amount of money, and their crazy choice.

£200 is more than generous.

Supersleepysheepy · 12/07/2026 04:58

The cost of the meal at the venue they choose is completely irrelevant, I would say £50-100 max. £200 seems too high.

iamnotalemon · 12/07/2026 04:56

I think £200 is very generous to be honest. Give what you can afford.

Bigcat25 · 12/07/2026 04:06

I agree with pp that it's their choice to have such an expensive wedding and it's not fair to expect guest to cover the cost.

That said, I know some cultures have this expectation but then they wouldn't have had such a high cost per head.

Please don't give more than you can afford.

avilsdedvocate · 12/07/2026 03:32

Absolutely insane. Its their choice to pay 230 a head. I dont know what the going rate is these days but its surely not more than 100 per adult person. 150 should be more than enough

Swipe left for the next trending thread