Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse my daughter a debit card for school trips?

247 replies

Pinkflamingo98 · 12/07/2026 02:09

Daughter has 3 school trips next week, she apparently got told that the places she will be going are card only and has asked if she can take one of our debit cards. Both me and her dad are very reluctant to do so, we have said we will give her a decent packed lunch with some goodies and a few “nice drinks” but she is dead set on wanting our card. Are we being unreasonable for sticking to saying no and not sending her with any money?
we can’t get her a card as it is far too late for us to be able to set her up one

OP posts:
Pedant61 · 12/07/2026 10:45

We live in a cash-free society. She needs her own card, even if you also have access to supervise her account.

RVectensian · 12/07/2026 10:44

I would give her one, with a minimal amount of money on. Transfer the rest to another account for the day or whatever. I have done this with out kids before they were at the point of being able to have their own

notatinydancer · 12/07/2026 10:43

Jc2001 · 12/07/2026 10:42

Fit in? How many kids have a current account and a debit card? I can't think that many parents would be happy lending they debit card to a child.l, who could easily lose it and then finding some stranger making purchases with contactless payments.

Then you leave a small amount only for that day in the account. £20 ish.

notatinydancer · 12/07/2026 10:43

I opened a Revolut account, the card was in my wallet rte same day.

Jc2001 · 12/07/2026 10:42

ThatGladTiger · 12/07/2026 02:17

It’s probably about wanting to fit in with everyone. Kids don’t like to be the odd one out. I’d give it to her on this occasion - or just add it to her phone so she can tap it.

More and more places are going cashless so look into getting a kids bank account with card she can use in future.

Fit in? How many kids have a current account and a debit card? I can't think that many parents would be happy lending they debit card to a child.l, who could easily lose it and then finding some stranger making purchases with contactless payments.

BlueMum16 · 12/07/2026 10:42

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 12/07/2026 02:29

My 10 and 14 year old both have their own bank cards I don’t see the issue personally. Because your short on time if you wanted to you could open an online bank account such a revelout or starling and they give you a virtual card before the actual card arrives which can be used for Apple Pay etc on their mobile

Ths is a good idea.

Can you actually have a Google pay before 16 though? DD had a Natwest card at 14 for school trips but Google wouldn't allow her to have a wallet until 16.

Are Revolute or similar different?

notatinydancer · 12/07/2026 10:42

FunnyOrca · 12/07/2026 02:35

  1. how old is she?
  2. What does she need to pay for on the trip?

Extra cold drink if it’s hot.
Ice cream.
Souvenir.
Fit in with others ?

twohotwaterbottles · 12/07/2026 10:40

You might want to set her up with a card and put a specific limit on. The sooner kids learn about finances the better I feel.

sanityisamyth · 12/07/2026 10:39

Get her a Monzo card and she can have her pocket money etc on there.

TheBlueKoala · 12/07/2026 10:39

Soontobe60 · 12/07/2026 08:53

You’re clearly not a cool parent then… they should have a smart phone at 5, bank cards at 6, pension at 7, mortgage at 8 and be using bitcoin at 10.

😂 Def not a cool parent. But to be fair they have never asked because they have always been able to pay in cash when going somewhere.
@Lilactimes They have annual buscards. If they would need a debit card I would have gotten them one but so far they have never needed it.

I think it's better for children to pay with cash if possible because it gives them visibility of the money they are spending.

Bigwineglass · 12/07/2026 10:35

does she have a Mobile. If you set up a Monzo account you can get her a kids card which will be pretty instant to use on her phone wallet. . They arrive within 2 days too.

or something like revolute then charge it with some money. They don’t let you go overdrawn. .

Swiftie1878 · 12/07/2026 10:34

Okiedokie123 · 12/07/2026 02:11

How old is she?

Key question.

backformoreofthesame · 12/07/2026 10:32

Out of curiosity- did this really only just get announced ?

StressedLP1 · 12/07/2026 10:32

As others have said - Monzo is the way and they are so quick. So easy to limit the amount she can have on it and can use it on her phone before the card even arrives if she has a phone.

she probably wants to feel more independent and I wouldn’t deny her that in this instance as any risk can be minimised.

Tryagain26 · 12/07/2026 10:30

It might be too late now but get her one of those cards designed for children where you can load money and she can only spend what's on there.
I would be reluctant to give her my debit card too In case she lost it but also you are not supposed to share your bank card with anyone.

Sartre · 12/07/2026 10:28

Need the context of age. My DC are teens and have their own Monzo accounts so use Apple Pay wherever they go.

Campervanadventures · 12/07/2026 10:26

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 12/07/2026 02:29

My 10 and 14 year old both have their own bank cards I don’t see the issue personally. Because your short on time if you wanted to you could open an online bank account such a revelout or starling and they give you a virtual card before the actual card arrives which can be used for Apple Pay etc on their mobile

That is an excellent suggestion

oustedbymymate · 12/07/2026 10:21

Get her a monzo card?

Keepoffmyartichokes · 12/07/2026 10:18

chocoluv · 12/07/2026 09:50

How would they know this though?

If DD loses it in Alton Towers then OP can just claim she was there.

If she transfers most of her money out of it and then it’s stolen then she won’t have lost much money anyway and it would be no different to losing cash on the street which used to happen a lot.

You would be surprised what banks look at to determine if a case is fraud and if the card holder has done anything wrong. They don't just take your word for it. If the card holder uses their card in Tesco via Google pay or whatever on the same day they are then claiming they lost it in Alton Towers it would be flagged up. If you are caught in the lie not only would the bank not reimburse lost funds, they could also exit you as a customer for misuse of facilities. Banks share fraud systems and talk to each other this could then make it more difficult to get an account elsewhere. It's just not worth the risk.

PrincessofWills · 12/07/2026 10:15

Just get a pre loaded card for her like revolute. Or the PO do one I think.

JohnofWessex · 12/07/2026 10:05

I found a dropped 'Go Henry' card last year

I rang them and not only did I get through very quickly but they seemed very 'on the ball' about sorting it.

redskyAtNigh · 12/07/2026 10:00

This is a ridiculously frustrating thread because there isn't really anything to debate.
Of course OP should not give her DD her (OP's) debit card - she should also explain why she can't do this (it will validate the Ts & Cs).

If DD is old enough to have a debit card of her own, then she should have one.
If she's not then she should have a pre-payment card.

If OP was prepared to give her cash, then she goes with one of these options. If she doesn't want DD to spend any money, then she gives her nothing.

Glowingup · 12/07/2026 09:52

Pinkchickenwine · 12/07/2026 09:50

I’d also give it you child and definitely did! A random stranger…no!

Again I’ll risk assess!

The bank would not know who lost the card, if it got lost?

Do they ask for proof of movements?

They’d ask stuff about where you were and when you realised it was gone if you’re trying to claim money back from them. If you’re not trying to claim anything they won’t care. But fine if you’re happy to pretend you were at Longleat or whatever. Hopefully you won’t have used your phone version of the card 50 miles away at the same time.

euff · 12/07/2026 09:51

As pp have said it’s not too late to get her one in her own name. My kids have had their own debit cards for years but when going on a trip abroad I got Monzo set up quickly on the phone. You can set limits etc, you get notifications as they spend and can view all the activity when you want.

Glowingup · 12/07/2026 09:50

Pinkchickenwine · 12/07/2026 09:45

I trust my DH of 40 years and it’s joint money, so if he commits fraud it’s against himself.

Presumably a joint account. But I wouldn’t actually give my debit card for a sole account to my DP unless a complete emergency- definitely not routinely.
I can’t believe that people seem to think the worst thing that can happen to a child is not being able to buy an ice cream. Smh.