No party bag for DS

Was I a weird child I could not have cared less about this stuff, wasn't a fan of parties anyway.....had my own gave party gifts away, just didn't mean much to me to be honest

I’d just think family hold back. There weren’t enough bags so family goes short . Maybe she was just a bit disorganized. Couldn’t you have bought the kids sweets on the way home and made a joke about auntie nora running out. of bags? Tis not the end of the world and there’s worse things imho.

Calm down! You’re massively over-reacting. Yes what she did wasn’t great but your kids are going to grow up devoid of resilience if they follow your lead.

Talk about an overreaction.

You are supposed to be the adult here and teach your kids that sometimes mistakes are made.

Not have a ridiculous tantrum and storm off home.

You should be embarrassed by your behaviour.

I couldn’t be bothered to get angry at something like this tbh.

My DS wouldn’t have known what a party bag was at that age.

If a genuine mistake had happened for DD, I’d have just said sorry and moved on and maybe got her some sweets later or something at most.

Come on a 3yr old boy doesn’t get invited to an 11 yr old girls party! He was there because you’re family that’s all.

Im guessing the party bags were created to the taste of preteen girls hence unsuitable for your preschooler.

It's fine not to provide party bags at parties but that's not the issue here. If you decide not to give out parity bags fine it applies to everyone, if you decide to give out party bags then it makes no sense not having enough for all the kids.

Yes we can argue about OPs reaction and if it was OTT or not but if you invite x number of kids then make sure you have x number of party bags or skip them all together.

Children that age aren't going to get it when all the other children are opening party bags and they are left out

All these people saying "it's only a party bag, get a grip" are missing the point. Small things matter to kids and I've yet to meet a kid who wasn't eager to get their party bag at the end of the party. Even if it was filled with 10p items of tat from Temu.

The SIL was either thoughtless or she fucked up, but at least her partner tried to put something together at the last minute. I would have told the kids that these things happen, then taken them to a shop selling pocket money toys and let them choose something. Or failing that, bought them a ice-cream each.

I would’ve declined for both tbh and I agree with others that the SIL felt she had to invite OP’s children.

It was really kind of your SIL to extend an invite OP but a 7 and 3 year old are a bit young for a party of 10 year olds. As for the party bags you could easily have distracted them instead of asking if SIL had bags for them, she was probably stressed organising the other 11 children leaving making sure each child’s parent was there to collect them.

It’s no big deal and I think YABU by leaving, “fuming” is a complete over reaction.

I'm sure there are many things in life I could get outraged about but I can tell you with absolute certainty that my children not getting a party bag at a family birthday party is not one of them.

Absolutely.

@girlmummy25 Getting so het up over a party bag is bloody odd.

Your kids are going to face many situations in life where things aren't fair, its your job to teach them not to let things like this upset them. Not to react in anger.

If this was my sister I'd completely understand, if she'd effed up and not made enough id understand non family guests are the priority

She sounds very disorganised if she had to go out to get party bag stuff that morning. It's my GC birthday party in a week and I've put together a bag for, a baby, Halal, egg allergy, nut allergy, 30 in total. No-one should be left out. Whether you should be angry about it depends on her reaction. Is she honestly really busy and has done it all herself?

I'm sure you would be outraged if it would have been your child crying because everyone was given something and not them. So easy to be "relaxed" when it's not your child who got their feelings hurt.

If thats all you have to worry about you are a very lucky person. Yabu.

Ofcourse it's hurtful to be excluded! No matter what it was- party bag/slice of cake/whatever. No child should feel excluded. The posters saying it's "just a party bag" are disingenious- they are children and ofcourse these "small things" are important to them. Your Sil is tight or thoughtless or both. Shame on her.

Such a fuss about nothing.
Party bags are to take home anyway. Were they really all sitting on the floor looking at them? I wonder if recollections would vary.

He’ll of got a token invite because she felt obligated to to invite him
tbh I would of declined it on his behalf in the first place

Is she generally a bit mean or off with you or your kids?

I had an aunt like that.

I don’t think she bought party bags for either of your kids, she just lied.

It's not mothers who are obsessed it's kids! My DD was invited to a Build a Bear party where the bear was the party bag. But she was 3 and didn't understand that. She cried because she didn't get a party bag. Of course we parented her and explained about the bear but kids learn routines and patterns of behaviour and of course those 2 kids would be upset at other people having party bags and they don't. Kids have a very black and white idea of fairness and justice at that age.

That’s weird in itself because usually the bags are given on leaving… a motive to get out the house.

What I meant to say, really. Just let it go. It’s only a party bag.

She was thoughtless and unkind not to have enough bags for your children. But you were wrong to leave that would probably have upset your children even more.
Better just to make little of it and say something like oh dear auntie X made a mistake and didn't make enough party bags so family won't be able to have one but never mind we can have a nice treat later on. Then you could have spoken separately to your sister in law if you wanted to let her know how angry you were.

I don’t think it’s a big deal. Hosting kids parties is effort and stressful, especially in the heat.

Maybe being family, they hoped you’d be understanding about passing the goodies to less important people.

The years are going to be long if you are this upset about a bloody party bag. Chill man and get some perspective.