No party bag for DS

Its a party bag I am sorry a 3 year old is devastated and you cant cope with this but no i dont think this will stay with him his entire life and no a 3yo did not need to be there

Whoever started this whole party bag lark has a long to answer for! They’re such a waste of time and money, not to mention bad for the planet: only benefit is handing them out the door helps to persuade kids to leave :)
Can understand why the kids might have been a bit upset because for some reason, kids love party bags no matter how underwhelming …but no doubt the kids were over it half an hour later.
But you’re an adult. You know party bags are total nonsense. Your job is to model resilience and compassion. If you had just said “ooops, that’s a pity, oh well let’s go for icecream/ another bounce on the castle/go see Nana who always has X treat just for grandkids”, they would have been over it in 3 mins rather than 30 mins.

Your children are crying over party bags?

This is insane to me.

It is your job to teach children how to manage disappointment. You made a difficult situation worse for them by storming out instead of helping them frame it.

"Aunty X made a mistake with party bag numbers, we're going to get something later. I know you're disappointed but we've had a lovely time and we get to play for longer than everyone else if you want to, you just need to wait a little while."

Job done. If they're not able to get past it then I would take them home but not as a victim of a crime but because they're not handling the situation.

With that age gap I really wouldn’t expect a party bag - your son wasn’t a full guest invited to participate along with the others. He was a family member tag-along. Which is lovely. But the party bags were for 10 year
olds - it’s mad to think he should have got one. What a lucky boy getting to enjoy the slide etc should have been your tone, and if absolutely necessary some kind of fun treat on the way home. Being really angry about this is OTT. Let it go….

Ps I disagree with people acting like it’s a big deal your kids were there, relatives coming to a party of kids a different age is normal, they just fade into the background but get to take part where it’s possible!

This kids are sponges they follow their parents lead

The kids who see their parents get het up and storm off as opposed to hearing ‘sorry everyone, but there just weren’t enough, we’ll make it up by doing or getting this or this’ are the kids who will expect everything to always go right in life and won’t be able to handle anything not going perfect.

Your sil couldn’t not give school invitees a bag, the kids would all be talking about it in school!

I agree with others that your son was only there because she felt she had to invite you all. Same with your daughter really.
I partly wonder if you were meant to decline going to the party but then visit after but she didn't make this clear and you missed any signals that this would be appropriate. I don't really get why having your children at a 10 years party would be their choice.

Plus if all the kids are sat opening and playing with their party bags it would be easy to see who took 2

Party bags are full of cheap tat. I'd be glad they didn't get one, all the tat ends up in the bin. She's given him cake so that's fine.

Party bag tat pisses me off no end, it's all just plastic rubbish, why we cant just cut the cake up and put it in a bag to take home like it's the 1980s (😆) I will never know. I have to bin the contents of party bags weekly (3 primary aged children averaging 2 partys a weekend throughout the year, we have had 5 this weekend!!!).

If your 3 year old is at a 10 year olds they'd end up having to buy stuff suitable to go in a 3 year old's party bag, I usually order those bulk buy things off amazon according to the age/sex of the kids invited, so if there was just 1 x 3 year old you'd need to order stuff just for them. I'm not sure why a 10 year old would have a 3 year old nephew at their party anyway (I have a 10 year old and a 3 year old nephew, he definitely isn't invited to their partys, we didn't even have my 5 year old at my 8 year old's party last week, he wasn't old enough to join the activity).

Mine would have been upset but it’s your job as a parent to try and smooth that over so they feel better. Not have a tantrum and storm off yourself

Exactly, the children are literally being ushered out the door.

I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Might be mildly relieved some more plastic tat wasn’t coming home. We never did them, just some cake.

so what if it's family?

Most families don't let their 3yo in the middle of their older sibling party!
Surely no one would think a 3yo was included in the party? Or the party bags?

I would have had spare sweets, it's weird not to, but the OP is reacting strangely. And kids sitting down to look at the party bags? Is that usual? I have never heard of that, party bags are the way to say "bye, thank you for coming but off you go" 😂

I wonder if the people voting YABU have children who are a similar age to yours OP, or if they're not there yet/way past it and forgotten what it's like!

My kids would feel very upset and left out if all the other children got a party bag and they didn't. Even if the other kids weren't playing with the contents in front of them, kids just know that party bags are a thing at the end of a party.

Your poor kids are probably wondering if they did something wrong to not deserve a party bag. Poor things.

You’re overly angry so assuming a back story to this

She wss a bit thoughtless not to have enough but what was she meant to do? She couldn’t magic them out of nowhere. I’m sure your son will soon recover from not having a bag of crap that will end up in the bin soon.

"Who's taking a 3yo to a 10yo birthday party in the first place?"

It's family, fgs. 🤦‍♀️
Neither here, nor there.

I think SiL was short bags and didn't intend to give one to the 3 year old anyway.
It's not worth being furious about but definitely annoyed. I'd have left as well and made it up to my kids with a treat on the way home.
I'd tell SiL that it wasn't nice to exclude my kids and leave it at that.

it's a bit shit, but your over-reaction is ridiculous. You stormed out and you are still angry?

Who's taking a 3yo to a 10yo birthday party in the first place?

I can't tell you why she didn't have a few spare sweets, but you probably didn't help by showing such upset to your child instead of making it light

Awww but she was so angry. So livid.

Why were they sitting round opening party bags? Surely you give them at the end of the party as the kids are leaving.
A few sweets (which you say the kids did get) and a bit of plastic tat isn't worth storming out over. Yes, your children might have been upset but I'm sure they'd be over it by tomorrow. Or if you were that worried you could have got them something on the way home.

Oh give over. It’s a party bag. He’s 3 years old! She didn’t leave him out because he’s a boy. It’s because he shouldn’t be at a 10yr olds party - and if he was invited as a favour, you, as a mum, shouldn’t expect a special party bag. The party girl is almost in senior school and your kids is a toddler