AIBU for refusing to go on a couples' holiday because my partner didn't want my son to come?

I’m a single dad with full custody of my 7-year-old son. His mum isn't in the picture, so it’s always been just the two of us against the world. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year, and while she gets along great with him, she definitely prefers our "adults-only" time when my mum babysits once a week.
For her upcoming milestone birthday, she wants to go on a two-week tropical holiday. I assumed we’d make it a family trip, but she explicitly asked that my son stay behind with my elderly parents so we could have "romantic, uninterrupted time." Two weeks is way too long for me to leave him, especially since he deals with mild separation anxiety, so I told her I could only manage a 3-day weekend alone, or we’d have to bring him along.
She is now furious, claiming I have "no identity outside of being a father," that I'm suffocating my kid, and that she deserves to be a priority for her birthday. My family thinks she's being incredibly short-sighted to expect a single parent to abandon their child for a fortnight, but she feels totally rejected. AIBU for digging my heels i
n?

How long have you been together?

I’m a single dad with full custody of my 7-year-old son. His mum isn't in the picture, so it’s always been just the two of us against the world. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year, and while she gets along great with him, she definitely prefers our "adults-only" time when my mum babysits once a week.
For her upcoming milestone birthday, she wants to go on a two-week tropical holiday. I assumed we’d make it a family trip, but she explicitly asked that my son stay behind with my elderly parents so we could have "romantic, uninterrupted time." Two weeks is way too long for me to leave him, especially since he deals with mild separation anxiety, so I told her I could only manage a 3-day weekend alone, or we’d have to bring him along.
She is now furious, claiming I have "no identity outside of being a father," that I'm suffocating my kid, and that she deserves to be a priority for her birthday. My family thinks she's being incredibly short-sighted to expect a single parent to abandon their child for a fortnight, but she feels totally rejected. AIBU for digging my heels i
n?

I’m a single dad with full custody of my 7-year-old son. His mum isn't in the picture, so it’s always been just the two of us against the world. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year, and while she gets along great with him, she definitely prefers our "adults-only" time when my mum babysits once a week.
For her upcoming milestone birthday, she wants to go on a two-week tropical holiday. I assumed we’d make it a family trip, but she explicitly asked that my son stay behind with my elderly parents so we could have "romantic, uninterrupted time." Two weeks is way too long for me to leave him, especially since he deals with mild separation anxiety, so I told her I could only manage a 3-day weekend alone, or we’d have to bring him along.
She is now furious, claiming I have "no identity outside of being a father," that I'm suffocating my kid, and that she deserves to be a priority for her birthday. My family thinks she's being incredibly short-sighted to expect a single parent to abandon their child for a fortnight, but she feels totally rejected. AIBU for digging my heels i
n?

She doesnt sound like a dick or any other of the nasty things said on here, but the amount of internalised misogyny on Mumsnet never ceases to amaze. So many women happy to condemn a woman they've never met.

Nonetheless two weeks is too long if you have a child with separation anxiety and as your partner doesn't have children she won't understand it on a visceral level. Perhaps you would be better served focusing on your child and staying single.

Also the us against the world dynamic sounds quite intense and in itself could be feeding into your son's over dependence on your presence.

She is an idiot for thinking that a single dad with no mum in the picture would leave their 7 year old for 2 weeks with elderly grandparents. Particularly when the child had separation anxiety.

Ok then… I think you’ll find if you RTFT, you’re literally the only person who thinks this is a reasonable expectation. But good for you.

6 And 9 Their dad didnt see them . .

As for " separation anxiety " well that have had to get over any signs of that years before being at nursery, childminders and school

how old was your child at the time? Is there a second parent in the picture? And was your child accustomed to being away from you for that long? OP has said DS’s mum isn’t in the picture at all, is 7, and has separation anxiety…

She isn't ready to be a stepmum to your son. She can't help how she feels, but anyone in a relationship with someone with a 7-year-old child has to understand that their needs have to be taken into account. Going away for a fortnight under these circumstances is too long. You are a father, that is a very important part of your identity now.

Hmm I'm a single parent and my child's grandmother took them away on a 2 week holiday.

I was very happy about it never mind refusing to let her have them. Certainly didn't feel like it was too long to be away from tgem

She is an idiot for thinking that a single dad with no mum in the picture would leave their 7 year old for 2 weeks with elderly grandparents. Particularly when the child had separation anxiety.

why do people say that?
You don't need to have your own child to understand the dynamic and needs of a child.

On the other hand, I have children and I would leave them (i HAVE left them) for a week at a time to have a bit of child-free time.
Fair enough 2 weeks is getting a bit long, but many parents leave their kids. By itself, it's not an outrageous idea.

I think my child-free friends are much more caring and careful of children than the rest of us parents who know the children can easily cope with normal stuff 😂

Not necessarily an idiot but not the right person for OP