Would this put you off sex with your husband ?

You'd have to look back to when you first stopped wanting it. Was it physical, tiredness after having your last child etc? Then did him being grumpy cut off affection and kindness and things just carried on? Why wasn't there better communication from both of you? Without physical/health reasons for sex stopping, it's usually a symptom, not the cause of a marriage that's failing.

He's a sex pest and coercive sex is rape.
This has been going on for years and now your body is physically repulsed by him.
Hardly surprising as it has been coercive sex, which is rape.

I think you need to talk to someone.
This cannot continue.
Your mental health is at risk.

I think his behaviour has caused the end of your marriage.
He sounds vile.

I am so sorry, OP. I think this sounds like a therapy/counselling problem.

It’s because nobody is turned on by a rapist.

I put yabu.

1. Unreasonable to do it at all times keep the peace.

1. To stay with this sulky man child when you deserve so much better.

He's a sex pest. And he's basically saying that your main or only value to him is providing sex on demand. So yes, that's a turnoff, but - it seems like you've been (understandably) disgusted by him for some time. Are you hoping he'll somehow revert back to whatever he was like before he was a gross misogynistic arsehole, and if so do you really believe that can happen?

I would stop having unwanted sex. You have the right to say no and not be pestered incessantly. If that ends the relationship, so be it.

YANBU. I would want zero sex with this man.
How dare he pressure and bribe and guilt-trip you. This is abusive, coercive and disrespectful. Your main function in life isn’t to be his sex toy.
also once or twice a week I would say is high average.
I would certainly be planning my exit so you can live in peace away from this pestering bastard.

absolutely this!

A sexless life is very grim , ok for some, but not for everyone. It's on him, it's not on you!

Don’t then. LTB.

Your comment about having to clench your teeth makes me so sad, you don’t owe anyone the use of your body.

This.

If nothing has changed he is being ridiculous. The way he has handled it is ridiculous anyway. But if this was how you sex life was from the start he is especially ridiculous.

If I even thought my husband could want to have sex with me when I don't want it it would kill my sex drive forever.

It's a small step from expecting sex when you are not willing to thinking it's OK to have sex with your wife when she's sleeping, to thinking well why not make sure she's sleeping then...

we all know there are more men who think this way than we ever thought possible.

Why are you putting yourself through this?

To be honest OP, the comment about not caring about you working, so long as you put out, would be the final straw to me. If he views your sole purpose in the marriage, in life perhaps, is to sexually gratify him, like a sex slave, he doesn't view you as a person in your own right.

This will carry on for years and years, if you let it. How old are you? 40? (Just guessing). So if you live till 80, you've got another 40 years of this ahead of you.

Going against the grain, you should have ended your marriage when you stopped wanting sex with him. Unless your marriage was a forced marriage there must have been a time when you did fancy him. Neither of you should have to live like this.

Honestly, doesn't sound like your relationship will stand long term. Your entitled to not want sex. He's entitled to want it. Unfortunately there's often not much changing that. One partner is often bound to feel resentful and used.

Sorry but this doesn’t sound like consensual sex. You need some professional help to unpack what’s been happening to you so you can leave.

Sorry? You had to clench your teeth and bear it? I think you need to start a life away from thus man, he doesn't like you and you despise him.
No wonder him doing sex to you feels like an assault.
When it got like this with my exh, i left, kids in tow.
Please stop putting up with this shit.

Then you should not be doing it, at all.

He’s clearlyaware that you don’t want to, hence pressuring you to do it.

There’s a word for that.

He doesn't care if you work or make money because you would become completely reliant on him and he would force you to have sex with him as often as he wanted because he pays for everything. Leave @wouldthis before your soul dies completely.

Your husband is coercive. Demanding sex and sulking when you say no is coercion.

Coercive sex will kill your enjoyment of sex and it sounds like it already has. It sounds like you dread having sex with him.

Does he know you don't enjoy sex with him yet he has it anyway? He doesn't care whether you enjoy it. That's not love. That's using you like an object.

I think you're sexually incompatible and your husband is not going to change. He'll always want more sex than you and be coercive. I'd divorce him.

Did you ever enjoy having sex with him? It sounds as if you find him physically repulsive.