Would this put you off sex with your husband ?

Agree if it is only your husband you don't want to have sex with- but i don't think that is what the OP said.

Your are missing the point entirely.

It is not about sex in general it is about her current partner: it is perfectly normal not to want to have sex with a man who is a whinging, entitled, manipulative sex pest who you just don't fancy anymore.

OP, it sounds like it is time to end this relationship

I think you need to address why you never want sex- that's not normal if you are young(ish) and healthy.

It would not only put me off sex with him, it would put me off marriage to him as well.

This is so scarily similar to my marriage - even the screaming inside my head. The thought that I could buy a few days’ peace if I just let him do it. I even cried some times during it, every part of me was rejecting him. I also thought it was me, maybe I just had a low sex drive etc. I came to learn he was controlling and abusive in other ways, too. I divorced him. And once I was over it all and started dating I realised that I definitely did have a sex drive. When the pressure is not on, I’ll rarely say no to be honest! I’ve even found myself in the position of being disappointed at not having it! Not that I would say anything because I am not an arsehole.

Your husband is a cunt. I’d think clearly about how he is with you in this marriage and consider leaving. Your body and mind don’t feel safe around him.

Do you think he likes her?

Yes. His words are hardly a turn on, more self entitlement. I would not want to have sex with him either.

You don’t really like him do you?

Gosh. Where to start. A husband raping his wife isn't necessarily going to be "beat up, physically hold her down or physically force her" but it is still rape. Not all rapes happen down a dark alley by a stranger.

It's consensual sex or it is rape. End of.

I have absolutely no idea why you are still with this disgusting man.

Is he any good at it? Maybe you’re not up for it because it hasn’t been that fulfilling in the past. If this is the case, I’d recommend letting him know sooner rather than later.

Your relationship is dead OP and it sounds like it's been dead for years. The question is really how many years of your life you're prepared to waste in this dead relationship just because getting divorced is hard and this stinking smoker who you hate having sex with will be 'disappointed in you'?

And???

There is no way I would stay married to a man like this - unless he’d changed pretty quickly after I gave him the mother of verbal onslaughts about how he behaves towards me.

There’s nothing surprising about why you feel this way - it’s perfectly understandable because he’s a selfish, entitled bastard.

Why would someone who loves you want / expect you to have sex with him even if you didn’t want to? And will happily have sex with you regardless of your pleasure. I’d say your lack of desire is less about your libido and more about the fact that your dh behaviours in a way that is deeply unattractive.

Yeah, same here. The sexual "obligation" that many women face in marriage is a big part of the reason I never want to marry again.

Given my previous post on this thread on enthusiastic consent, I'd say I do.

We don't actually know what he knows. OP might have hidden her disgust quite well. We just don't know. And I'm uncomfortable with calling this rape, because then what do we call the experiences of women who have been beaten up, physically held down, and physically forced? I feel that calling this rape takes away from the horror of their experiences in making the two things equivalent.

That said, it sounds coercive. It really depends if OP felt able to say no. Did she go along for a quiet life (hardly ideal, but still a choice) or go along because she was scared not to? (Not a choice.)

What crap. Have you read the op posts. I’m guessing you’re male

Yeah your husbands a fucking pig 🙃

😆

OP you haven’t said if things are different now to when you first got together.

He sounds awful op.

“Females”

”Man”.

Whenever I think I need to find a partner it’s nice to realise I never feel any pressure to have sex I don’t want to have.

Oh he knows. And it is.

Do you understand what enthusiastic consent means?