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Original poster

What's something that men think is impressive, but really isn't?

288 replies

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 18:22

Beep beep, come on traffic

Speaking of traffic, mine is when men (or boys, rather) rev their bloody engines on their cars that sound like they're about to explode. No, please, don't speed off, open the boot to your clapped out Corsa, I want to get in.

Also since going back to the gym, forgot how awful the men are there for showing off. There's this one in particular at my gym and idk if he's just mentally deranged or what but anytime he does any exercise he roars like a buffoon and I feel my vagina drying up a little more each time. It is so unnecessary. He will be easing his way through bicep curls, pretty much screaming and grunting for each one. Also has a horrifically embarassing habit of punching his chest, twice, every so often.

Give me your opinions and stories; what is something that men do that they think is impressive, but really, really isn't...

make my Saturday evening ✨

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 20:04

ClearFruit · 11/07/2026 19:10

Their opinions.

They're always disappointing, aren't they

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Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 20:03

MagpiePi · 11/07/2026 19:08

When they’re doing the OTT grunting and roaring in the gym I always make a little comment to myself along the lines of ‘Keep pushing, I can see the head! Take a breath and really bear down with the next contraction…’
Like they’d ever cope with childbirth 🙄

Edited

Hahahaha if im feeling ballsy enough im gonna say that next time lmfao

Ah god most of them would probably die in childbirth, a lot of them really are wimps at their core

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Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 20:00

Isseywith2witchycats · 11/07/2026 19:08

A few years ago now but men on dating sites showing off their fishes they have caught, sorry guys but most girls don't want to sit on a muddy river bank all day while boring you does nothing but sit there being silent cos you don't want the fishes to go away definitely swipe left for me , what did attract me to my now partner was likes motorbikes, live music gigs and is actually intelligent and until retirement actually employed in a paid job

Any man holding a fish in a photo is a no for me. It's just so cringe I get secondhand embarrassment every time.

Ah I do love motorbikes tbh, idk why but they are so hot. A guy once revved his at me at a traffic light once and its the only time a revving engine has done anything for me haha. Helps that he was hot, too, so far as I could tell with his helmet on. I feel like helmets can be catfish disguises sometimes

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Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:56

MargaretThursday · 11/07/2026 19:07

Burping. Or is that just my bil? Something a new born baby can do, but he wants everyone to admire how he's done it.

Speaking of traffic, mine is when men (or boys, rather) rev their bloody engines on their cars that sound like they're about to explode.
I asked my (then 18yo) ds what the appeal of doing that was, and he said "there is no appeal - from outside the car..." which made me smile.

Burping is actually repulsive but have met a few boys who do this and think it's impressive!

Honestly I'm so relieved that not all of them do it for that reason. Some definitely do though!

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Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:54

ZanyPoet · 11/07/2026 19:04

WHY do we keep pushing the idea that sport is a "man" thing? or that boys do sport, and girls.. play with their dolls or do craft?

Strava is not a MAN thing FFS.

Sport is a not a male area, can we stop pushing us out of everything?
Peak mumsnet, men obsessed with the gym/ cycling/ running and women obsessed with dusting and laundry.

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I don't think that's what she was doing, or anyone here, she was simply stating when men do this they think it's impressive but it really isn't lol

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Lemonyyy · 11/07/2026 19:49

Or reading/carrying around some weighty book that they think makes them look clever. Think gravity's rainbow or infinite jest. I did also walk in on a (male) colleague boring another poor (female) colleague to death wanging on about Ulysses. If he'd taken 30 seconds to talk to her he'd have known she was writing a masters thesis about that very tome at the time...

daisyfallout · 11/07/2026 19:49

In2mindsss · 11/07/2026 19:42

Its also always an incredibly basic dish. Like its never "my famous beef Wellington" or "my famous sole meunière" its always my famous chilli/curry/bolognese

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100% spot on. I genuinely don't understand how someone who never cooks somehow ends up with a signature dish. My dad probably cooked fewer than ten times in his entire life outside of this. He wouldn't have known how to peel a potato or boil an egg (different generation, different culture). But every Christmas had to have "meat a la francaise" by dad (Soviet staple, known as veal Orloff otherwise, a very basic bake despite the fancy name).

EmptyInTheValley · 11/07/2026 19:48

Flexing their 'sensitive' side and pretending to be feminists. Just to impress us. You are so transparent, Nigel.

In2mindsss · 11/07/2026 19:47

Oh also: going out with someone younger.

Im currently going out with a guy 5 years younger than me but I don't see it as a reflection of my value or anything.
Men seem to think this means they're some kind of sex rock god

Lemonyyy · 11/07/2026 19:46

Some sort of hilarious story of a prank or escapade from school/college. No I am not impressed by something incredibly juvenile you did 25 years ago!

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:45

HoldingOntoMySanity · 11/07/2026 19:15

I was immediately going to say 'their penis'. Men as a sex class seem inordinately impressed by their own penises. I've never found them all that interesting- useful and fun to play with on occasion, yes. But not that interesting.

Also- being a member of a yacht club. I was invited to a birthday lunch last year and was sat by a man who brayed non-stop about being a member of this club. Right at the end as we were leaving he said 'Oh i hope you enjoyed your special visit to our little club' and I just replied 'Oh, we are members too, actually'. It's honestly just not that special- not least when we all Live By The Actual Sea.

Oooof, I want that comeback framed on my wall. What a legend you are for saying that hahaha mic drop. Yeah I find penises boring. Like yeah fun during sex but how cocky (punintended) they are over their actual cocks is ironically a turn off for me. Most definitely not impressive.

Can't say I know anyone who owns a yacht, or is a member of a yacht club, and now I'm so deeply glad that I don't lmao

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In2mindsss · 11/07/2026 19:42

daisyfallout · 11/07/2026 19:40

It must be incredibly common. My dad had his signature dish, and so did every husband I've had. Different recipes, I should add. The funny part is that, beyond that one masterpiece, they were completely hopeless in the kitchen.

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Its also always an incredibly basic dish. Like its never "my famous beef Wellington" or "my famous sole meunière" its always my famous chilli/curry/bolognese

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:41

SkirlingGirl · 11/07/2026 19:03

My most satisfying moment was when a group of lycra clad men wandered into a cafe we were in. They were so impressed with themselves that they were almost braying as they sat there in their padded lycra and cleated cycling shoes. The gobbiest one of them all tried to walk upstairs in his cleats . He slipped and slid all the way back down on his scrawny (but fortunately for him, padded) bum. We fell about laughing.

They've always got legs that look like an albino pepperami in a string vest.

Edited

Omg I am dying to see the CCTV footage of this that is actually golden 😭😭😂

"Albino pepperami in a string vest" ffs hahaha I want to have a roll of stickers with this printed on, and covertly gift them to the public as I see fit

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Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 11/07/2026 19:41

I know of a Billy Big Bollocks who was a tory councillor who really rated himself, Ousted by a newbie wannabe Reform councillor. in that last local elections. Billy has somewhat shrunk in statue and looks like the pathetic, sad old git that he really is as a result.

daisyfallout · 11/07/2026 19:40

OneHangryHiker · 11/07/2026 19:36

Oh god that was dh and his mums/nans famous pasta sauce.

It was just olive oil, garlic, passatta and mixed herbs.

He talked about it in front of his flatmates, said aren’t I amazing, isn’t my pasta sauce the best! They all nodded enthusiastically.
then one of the girls pulled me aside and said someone said it was just okay once and he had the hump for days, just go along with it and he shuts up.

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It must be incredibly common. My dad had his signature dish, and so did every husband I've had. Different recipes, I should add. The funny part is that, beyond that one masterpiece, they were completely hopeless in the kitchen.

Snorlaxo · 11/07/2026 19:37

Dick pics.

The first answer is spot on. It’s amazing how many crappy men have very high self esteem.

daisyfallout · 11/07/2026 19:37

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:36

I'm creasing hahahahaha

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Right? Mate, I have eyes too.

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:36

daisyfallout · 11/07/2026 19:33

How every young waitress or sales assistant they meet, without fail, supposedly guesses they're 20+ years younger than they actually are.

I'm creasing hahahahaha

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OneHangryHiker · 11/07/2026 19:36

daisyfallout · 11/07/2026 19:22

Oh yes. My famous mac and cheese. Apparently everyone who's ever tried it has been raving about it for years afterwards. I must have had COVID when I tasted it, because to me it was just flavoured cardboard.

Show quote history

Oh god that was dh and his mums/nans famous pasta sauce.

It was just olive oil, garlic, passatta and mixed herbs.

He talked about it in front of his flatmates, said aren’t I amazing, isn’t my pasta sauce the best! They all nodded enthusiastically.
then one of the girls pulled me aside and said someone said it was just okay once and he had the hump for days, just go along with it and he shuts up.

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:35

AnAudacityofinlaws · 11/07/2026 19:15

Anything they do in the kitchen. Toast, washing up, boiling kettle, heating up anything from a tin. All of it, more impressive than conducting the Berlin Philharmonic.

Lmfao my abusive ex once said to me, after I refused to have sex with him, "well fuck being a housemaid then!" Because he had done the dishes, once, in an attempt to get me to sleep with him.

I'm physically cringing remembering it 😬

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Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 19:33

OneHangryHiker · 11/07/2026 19:02

Playing a bit of guitar and singing, usually badly.

Their taste in films which they must press on you, “oh my god, you haven’t seen the godfather! It’s amazing, here, let’s watch it!” They think you lived under a rock and didn’t know of the film’s existence and don’t like it when you say of course you did, it’s just not your thing so you’ve never wanted to see it.

The Barbie movie had me howling for things like that, they got it bang on with the Kens.dh was less impressed as it was all the shit he did.

Oh man that and if you have ever had the displeasure of having a boy rap to you and he's an absolute abomination and is actually serious about it. dear sweet baby jesus its the stuff of nightmares

Yes to the films bit!!! Apparently I had no idea how great LOTR is, despite having watched it!! Told him it's not my thing, I don't really like fantasy, but lo and behold 3 hours later we've just watched it again and... it's still shit! sorry buddy.

OP posts:
Treacletreacle · 11/07/2026 19:33

Breathing

Itsalittlebitwarm · 11/07/2026 19:33

From the likes of programmes such as Geordie shore, TOWIE, love island etc (not that I've seen any)...

False boobs
Fake tan
False eyelashes
Revealing every crevice and butt cheeks
No sense or knowledge of the world
An easy lay

???????

daisyfallout · 11/07/2026 19:33

How every young waitress or sales assistant they meet, without fail, supposedly guesses they're 20+ years younger than they actually are.

MoistVonL · 11/07/2026 19:31

Definitely their penises. Mate, nobody wants a photo of that.

How they cook meat. BBQ or roast - so what? I can slam out a dinner for 6 in 35 minutes taking in ARFID, allergies, vegan and kosher and not leave the kitchen a bomb site. Your grilled chicken wings are not all that.

Catching fish.

Power tools. We can use them too. They literally take the effort out of a manual job.

Their 'seed'.
Absolutely not. It's a sperm, a tiny gamete. If it's a 'seed' then women are the soil. That's VERY MUCH not how it works.