Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's something that men think is impressive, but really isn't?

288 replies

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 18:22

Beep beep, come on traffic

Speaking of traffic, mine is when men (or boys, rather) rev their bloody engines on their cars that sound like they're about to explode. No, please, don't speed off, open the boot to your clapped out Corsa, I want to get in.

Also since going back to the gym, forgot how awful the men are there for showing off. There's this one in particular at my gym and idk if he's just mentally deranged or what but anytime he does any exercise he roars like a buffoon and I feel my vagina drying up a little more each time. It is so unnecessary. He will be easing his way through bicep curls, pretty much screaming and grunting for each one. Also has a horrifically embarassing habit of punching his chest, twice, every so often.

Give me your opinions and stories; what is something that men do that they think is impressive, but really, really isn't...

make my Saturday evening ✨

OP posts:
EssCarGo · 11/07/2026 23:54

Shit comedy which is written by men for men: Monty Frigging Python, Bottom, that type of shite.

brunettemic · 11/07/2026 23:47

ZanyPoet · 11/07/2026 23:06

true

but so are loads of women. It's not a man thing. Women run just as much, or cycle or do whatever sport men do.

Show quote history

Same. I love my Strava stats.

DarkchocolateAndtea · 11/07/2026 23:24

NotMyRealAccount · 11/07/2026 23:11

Endlessly quipping and wisecracking. Bonus unimpressiveness credits if it's smutty. Total turn-off if they pause for you to admire their wit. This seems to get worse with age.

I had to laugh at the "signature dish" thing. I'm always reminded of a chap I had a brief fling with who said, perfectly seriously, "People come from far and wide to eat my chips."

😂"eat my chips." I am not surprised it was brief. When I was younger I got told, "I do the best cheese toasties, renowned for my cheese toasties, nobody knows my secret." Like f* was I trying his "secret" ingredient! Honestly you'd think they were cooking a 3 course Michelin star meal, not two slices of toast with some cheese slapped in the middle!

NotMyRealAccount · 11/07/2026 23:11

Endlessly quipping and wisecracking. Bonus unimpressiveness credits if it's smutty. Total turn-off if they pause for you to admire their wit. This seems to get worse with age.

I had to laugh at the "signature dish" thing. I'm always reminded of a chap I had a brief fling with who said, perfectly seriously, "People come from far and wide to eat my chips."

ZanyPoet · 11/07/2026 23:06

Petrolitis · 11/07/2026 21:03

Loads of men are obsessed with their Strava stats

Show quote history

true

but so are loads of women. It's not a man thing. Women run just as much, or cycle or do whatever sport men do.

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 11/07/2026 22:40

brunettemic · 11/07/2026 22:29

In fairness a lot of women say they want a tall man…

Show quote history

)Myself included …)

brunettemic · 11/07/2026 22:29

HippoStraw · 11/07/2026 18:27

Being tall

In fairness a lot of women say they want a tall man…

ThisPoisedGoldGuide · 11/07/2026 22:25

Working full time and lording it over their wife who works part time but also runs the house and does everything for the kids etc. 'Working hard for my family'...by never spending any time with them 🤡

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 22:24

crackofdoom · 11/07/2026 21:52

Oh God, oh God, the ex's sad Christmas dinner! It was trailed for months...."I'm going to have to cook you Christmas Dinner with my famous roast potatoes, I'm so good at them" etc etc.

On Christmas day I made nut roast (from scratch), bread sauce (from scratch), stuffing, braised red cabbage (from scratch), cauliflower cheese (from scratch), red wine gravy (from scratch), sautéed sprouts with chestnuts, roast potatoes and parsnips, Christmas pudding (from Lidl) and home made mince pies for me and the DC.

On Boxing Day I went round XPs and with immense excitement he produced a Quorn roast and Bisto gravy, overcooked carrots and sprouts and the famous roast potatoes, which were....fine. And I had to praise it to the heavens 🙄.

I swear, one of the chief reasons I stopped dating is that I refuse to feign excitement over this kind of mediocre food offering ever again.

I want Christmas dinner at your house 😍

I can never feign excitement for food that I don't enjoy anymore. I've lost my ability to lie about it. My words say "it was the best meal I've ever had", while my face looks in pain and I may have tears in my eyes.

I hope that was the last Christmas you spent with him. A Quorn roast, for the love of God

OP posts:
Esmeraldathe3rd · 11/07/2026 22:21

Not hitting or raping their wives.
Taking their kid to the park once a year.
Not cheating on their wives.

Supporting a successful football team.

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 22:20

Shodan · 11/07/2026 22:16

Any sport/hobby that XH has a go at, apparently, is Super Impressive. At one point it was Running, and he drove quite some distance to run with a particular club, because they thought he was great.

Then he swapped to Hiking, and he wore all the gear and had a water thingy strapped to his back and everyone (women) thought he was great.

Then it was Hyrox, and everyone thought he was great.

What I find impressive is his massive ego and lack of self-awareness.

Hahahaha

Love that you're there to humble him. Keep doing gods work

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 22:18

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 11/07/2026 21:53

A male colleague was boasting at work that his 11 month old son can already swipe to expand the image on a phone and knows how to scroll through photos. Whilst this might demonstrate pretty good hand eye coordination it really isn't very impressive the child has already had that much screen exposure.

My god how was he not embarrassed to admit that. I hate nothing more than braggy parents

OP posts:
DarkchocolateAndtea · 11/07/2026 22:18

What is it with the "Go on!!" and similar sounds too?! It is like everything needs a dramatic pre announcement.

meringuenests · 11/07/2026 22:16

HAIR

Shodan · 11/07/2026 22:16

Any sport/hobby that XH has a go at, apparently, is Super Impressive. At one point it was Running, and he drove quite some distance to run with a particular club, because they thought he was great.

Then he swapped to Hiking, and he wore all the gear and had a water thingy strapped to his back and everyone (women) thought he was great.

Then it was Hyrox, and everyone thought he was great.

What I find impressive is his massive ego and lack of self-awareness.

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 22:16

powershowerforanhour · 11/07/2026 21:53

On the subject of food- fair enough to like what you like, but it's making a big show of liking
ultra dark chocolate, "Only 85% cocoa? it's far too sweet, I like 98.7% minimum"
Meat cooked rare - loudly declaiming "really blue steak, knock the horns off it, wipe its arse and slap it on the plate" (often said by some dope who would no more dehorn a bullock than fly to the moon)
Or really hot curry (amusingly reversed in the Goodness Gracious Me "Going For An English" sketch).

Omg love this comment. All of them apply to my ex. I was a pleb for eating 85% dark chocolate, a woman of no taste!

I like my steak medium rare to medium - no no no. No nutritional value, apparently. REAL steak eaters only eat it blue. 🙄

What do you mean you don't like vindaloo? What a wimp. Might put some hot sauce on mine, it isn't spicy enough. He says as he looks like he's in the most pain he's ever experienced in his life

OP posts:
DarkchocolateAndtea · 11/07/2026 22:14

Miles they've cycled/swam/any activity they've completed really. Funnily enough I can do the same thing and not feel the need to vocalise the distance!

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 11/07/2026 22:13

powershowerforanhour · 11/07/2026 22:03

"Or when they tell you
the ‘meaning’ behind each tattoo including the ones that represent their kids (usually protector lion related)kids they never/are not allowed to see !"

This is for you:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1023342263813027/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

Class lol. X

SleepingStandingUp · 11/07/2026 22:11

Their penis.

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 22:11

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 11/07/2026 22:06

Little teeny weeny ones are definitely unimpressive though..

Show quote history

Oh god yeah if they whip that out im whipping my pepper spray out. Or perhaps my electric fly swatter. Get that wiggly worm away from me

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 22:09

powershowerforanhour · 11/07/2026 21:41

"Oh god that was dh and his mums/nans famous pasta sauce."

Yep definitely recognise this although your DH does get half a point for crediting women with the recipe. The ones I have known have claimed it was "their" famous whatever. I had a brief thing with a nice chap who told me about four times in the space of a holiday fling about his famous chocolate cake that all his old flatmates used to race about apparently. He made it and presented it with that theatrical flourish and expectant look that they do. It was a perfectly serviceable basic chocolate cake. My mum's was nicer.
The best cakes I have had have been made by a couple of the female cattle vets that I work with, and when I remark on the amazingness they're always quick to say, oh thanks- it's a Mary Berry / Sally's Baking Addiction recipe and pretty easy to follow, I'll whatsapp you

Love the wholesome end to this! Coming to realise men are just incapable of modesty. Here's MY chocolate cake that I made from a recipe on BBC Good Foods. Bon appetit!

OP posts:
Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 11/07/2026 22:06

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 20:29

Realest comment on the thread tbh couldn't agree more. Massive cocks just hurt and they typically don't know what to do with it. Good oral over a big cock any day of the week

Show quote history

Little teeny weeny ones are definitely unimpressive though..

SleeplessInWherever · 11/07/2026 22:04

Having breasts.

The amount of times I’m treated like I’ve achieved some sort of personal victory when really I just… had puberty, and therefore grew boobs.

powershowerforanhour · 11/07/2026 22:03

"Or when they tell you
the ‘meaning’ behind each tattoo including the ones that represent their kids (usually protector lion related)kids they never/are not allowed to see !"

This is for you:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1023342263813027/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

106K views · 791 reactions | For the day that’s in it 🤡 | Dimple Stilskin

For the day that’s in it 🤡

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1023342263813027?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

Swipe left for the next trending thread