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What's something that men think is impressive, but really isn't?

288 replies

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 18:22

Beep beep, come on traffic

Speaking of traffic, mine is when men (or boys, rather) rev their bloody engines on their cars that sound like they're about to explode. No, please, don't speed off, open the boot to your clapped out Corsa, I want to get in.

Also since going back to the gym, forgot how awful the men are there for showing off. There's this one in particular at my gym and idk if he's just mentally deranged or what but anytime he does any exercise he roars like a buffoon and I feel my vagina drying up a little more each time. It is so unnecessary. He will be easing his way through bicep curls, pretty much screaming and grunting for each one. Also has a horrifically embarassing habit of punching his chest, twice, every so often.

Give me your opinions and stories; what is something that men do that they think is impressive, but really, really isn't...

make my Saturday evening ✨

OP posts:
maxslice · 12/07/2026 19:31

Cars. If it works, beyond that, who cares?

ZanyPoet · 12/07/2026 17:01

the "signature dish" cannot be seen as a man thing?

Their bbq skills, maybe, I haven't met a woman yet who is proud or even talk about their bbq. It's great because no one cares about the bloody bbq, it's food.

But the complete bore about their Christmas diner, their roast, or whatever dish they have decided on imposing on everyone else forever are mainly woman!

pinkpony88 · 12/07/2026 16:41

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/07/2026 18:27

At the pool I use, men doing a really noisy, splashy front crawl, evidently not understanding that really good front crawlers make far less splashy noise.

Yes someone where I swim does this. He looks so pleased with himself but actually looks like a drowning seagull 😆

NotMyRealAccount · 12/07/2026 16:32

CruCru · 12/07/2026 15:45

Telling jokes. If someone (always a man) tells a joke at a party, people will step and listen and will laugh at the punchline (politely or genuinely). This is fine. What is not fine is then telling a series of jokes and expecting the audience to carry on listening.

A hobby group I'm in has a Whatsapp group that's specifically joke-free because the other Whatsapp group is overrun with jokes, riddles and trick questions. The occasional one still slips through. #notallmenbutalwaysaman

CruCru · 12/07/2026 15:45

Telling jokes. If someone (always a man) tells a joke at a party, people will step and listen and will laugh at the punchline (politely or genuinely). This is fine. What is not fine is then telling a series of jokes and expecting the audience to carry on listening.

Cheese55 · 12/07/2026 13:00

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 22:24

I want Christmas dinner at your house 😍

I can never feign excitement for food that I don't enjoy anymore. I've lost my ability to lie about it. My words say "it was the best meal I've ever had", while my face looks in pain and I may have tears in my eyes.

I hope that was the last Christmas you spent with him. A Quorn roast, for the love of God

I have a qourn roast every Xmas 😋

Cheese55 · 12/07/2026 12:56

phoenixrosehere · 12/07/2026 11:13

Tall man can easily mean taller than them vs 6ft+.

I only knew one woman that only dated men that were 6 6ft plus and she herself was 5’0. I think most couples are typically less than 5 inches apart height wise.

A lot of men also like to claim their 6 ft when they’re not and from what I’ve seen many people don’t know what 6 ft actually looks like.

Most men say 'about 6 foot' if u ask them their height, whatever their height actually is.

Cheese55 · 12/07/2026 12:54

Cutting the cord after birth, apparently this makes them the 'creator of life'. Um noooo, the women do that.

CruCru · 12/07/2026 12:40

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 11/07/2026 19:20

Tattoos. Some of the middle aged men I work with have them in lieu of a personality. The CEO got a full sleeve recently, and the tattoo love has trickled downwards.

Yep!

What's something that men think is impressive, but really isn't?
QuintadosMalvados · 12/07/2026 11:36

DarkchocolateAndtea · 11/07/2026 23:24

😂"eat my chips." I am not surprised it was brief. When I was younger I got told, "I do the best cheese toasties, renowned for my cheese toasties, nobody knows my secret." Like f* was I trying his "secret" ingredient! Honestly you'd think they were cooking a 3 course Michelin star meal, not two slices of toast with some cheese slapped in the middle!

The chips comment would have me laughing so hard if he meant it seriously I'd probably stay with him for comedy value if he came out with stuff like that.

It would be a perfect marriage: I'd be laughing and smiling at him all day, he'd be thinking I was impressed by him.

ToffeePennie · 12/07/2026 11:17

Taking the bins out. Apparently it deserves no less than a massive round of applause, a magnum of champagne on ice and a fanfare!

phoenixrosehere · 12/07/2026 11:13

brunettemic · 11/07/2026 22:29

In fairness a lot of women say they want a tall man…

Tall man can easily mean taller than them vs 6ft+.

I only knew one woman that only dated men that were 6 6ft plus and she herself was 5’0. I think most couples are typically less than 5 inches apart height wise.

A lot of men also like to claim their 6 ft when they’re not and from what I’ve seen many people don’t know what 6 ft actually looks like.

worldshottestmom · 12/07/2026 10:03

NotMyRealAccount · 11/07/2026 23:11

Endlessly quipping and wisecracking. Bonus unimpressiveness credits if it's smutty. Total turn-off if they pause for you to admire their wit. This seems to get worse with age.

I had to laugh at the "signature dish" thing. I'm always reminded of a chap I had a brief fling with who said, perfectly seriously, "People come from far and wide to eat my chips."

"Are the people in the room with us now"

OP posts:
worldshottestmom · 12/07/2026 10:02

EssCarGo · 11/07/2026 23:54

Shit comedy which is written by men for men: Monty Frigging Python, Bottom, that type of shite.

Hate all of em

OP posts:
worldshottestmom · 12/07/2026 10:02

LejlaKapovic · 12/07/2026 08:45

Who cares what men think? Seriously...

Nobody asked if anyone cares what men think?

OP posts:
worldshottestmom · 12/07/2026 10:00

BeachTimeIsBliss · 12/07/2026 09:37

I don't use soap powder. It just seems a waste of money.

Soap powder saved my life

OP posts:
worldshottestmom · 12/07/2026 09:59

Newname71 · 12/07/2026 09:42

My boss is a nightmare for this kind if shite. He’s 67 and has recently really got into going to the gym. Every morning he tells me how many calories he’s burned, how many points he’s earned and where he is in the leaderboard. I’ve actually said the words “I don’t care” to him but still… every morning! 🙄🤣

Gotta admire their persistence

OP posts:
worldshottestmom · 12/07/2026 09:59

Telemicus · 12/07/2026 09:52

This is a shitty thing to say. Do you ever wear exercise clothes to exercise in? They are often made for practicality rather than style.

Aw I was only joking, don't get upset

OP posts:
Telemicus · 12/07/2026 09:52

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 21:22

I always wear normal clothes when riding my bike because I'm not a wanker

This is a shitty thing to say. Do you ever wear exercise clothes to exercise in? They are often made for practicality rather than style.

Newname71 · 12/07/2026 09:42

Evaka · 11/07/2026 18:33

Their running stats. Fuck strava. Their cycling gear, particularly lycra padded arses, stupid shoes and reflective sunnies. Their boring leg muscles.

My boss is a nightmare for this kind if shite. He’s 67 and has recently really got into going to the gym. Every morning he tells me how many calories he’s burned, how many points he’s earned and where he is in the leaderboard. I’ve actually said the words “I don’t care” to him but still… every morning! 🙄🤣

Bertiebiscuit · 12/07/2026 09:42

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/07/2026 18:27

At the pool I use, men doing a really noisy, splashy front crawl, evidently not understanding that really good front crawlers make far less splashy noise.

Yes! As Victoria said men in swimming pools are "hairy torpedoes"

BeachTimeIsBliss · 12/07/2026 09:37

worldshottestmom · 11/07/2026 20:45

"I do everything round here", he says, as he puts his clothes on a 90 degree wash with no soap powder.

I don't use soap powder. It just seems a waste of money.

LejlaKapovic · 12/07/2026 08:45

Who cares what men think? Seriously...

MellowRedHiker · 12/07/2026 07:54

GreenFootstool · 11/07/2026 18:25

Windmilling their penis.

Oh NO. I completely detest that. Immature morons

Downunderduchess · 12/07/2026 01:23

CurdinHenry · 11/07/2026 18:27

A nice man at work is always trying to be impressive with knowledge re things I already know and I do actually find it cute, like he's a little boy wanting applause, but also it's getting exhausting having to think up ways to respond that aren't a lie but also aren't snapping "I already knew that obviously" because he is nice at the end of the day.

I will often reply to this sort of thing saying - yes exactly it’s common knowledge isn’t it? See everyone knows that!