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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to question using spinster and old maid for single women

66 replies

Chocolatelabsarebest · 11/07/2026 17:45

AIBU to wonder why some people feel that it is ok to use the word “spinster” and “old maid” to refer to unmarried women ? What is wrong with the word “single “?
I thought those words had fallen out of use!! So why have I seen these words used with reference to Ann Widdicombe?

OP posts:

TrishM80 · 11/07/2026 19:00

So the guy had to apologise for accurate use of the English language?

FairTradeMaid · 11/07/2026 18:57

Malasana · 11/07/2026 18:14

Old Maid is a shit term but I don’t know what’s wrong with Spinster - if anyone knows, can they tell me please? Is it not similar to Bachelor?

It originates from the 14th century, when women who spun thread or yarn could earn their own income and weren’t reliant on men. I’m happy to be known as a spinster.

ACynicalDad · 11/07/2026 18:55

Spinster ok but a bit out of date, I think they still use it for marriage vows, but pointedly at someone very old seems harsh. Old maid very odd.

EmeraldRoulette · 11/07/2026 18:54

I'm all right with spinster because of the origins but it depends who's using the word I suppose.

But I thought what Adam Boulton said was just deeply unpleasant and he obviously didn't mean it in a positive way.

Generally, I thought his attitude was centuries old. His comments say a lot about him.

Old maid, I don't like, but I'm not aware of the history.

SpottyAlpaca · 11/07/2026 18:54

Widdecombe frequently used to word ‘spinster’ to describe herself. No-nonsense character that she was, I assume she regarded the word as a straightforward statement of fact. Because she was a spinster.

BiteSizedLife · 11/07/2026 18:51

I couldnt give a monkeys what people call it tbh. Genuinely.

All I know is that I am happier this way. And statistically likely to remain happier this way.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/07/2026 18:23

steff13 · 11/07/2026 17:51

I've never heard anyone use these terms IRL either. Old Maid is a card game.

Show quote history

Old maid was once a common term for an older unmarried woman.

IIRC from Jane Austen’s Emma, ‘And end an old maid? Like Miss Bates??’ (Shock horror!)

But I’d be astonished to hear anyone use it in that sense nowadays!

MrsTomRipley · 11/07/2026 18:18

I'm wrong about his job too - apparently he no longer works for Sky

MrsTomRipley · 11/07/2026 18:17

Oh apparently he has now apologised - presumably to keep his very well paid job.

MrsTomRipley · 11/07/2026 18:15

It was Adam Boulton, instead of apologising he has doubled down. At least Peter Tatchell has had the grace to delete his offensive tweet and apologise.

Malasana · 11/07/2026 18:14

Old Maid is a shit term but I don’t know what’s wrong with Spinster - if anyone knows, can they tell me please? Is it not similar to Bachelor?

nocoolnamesleft · 11/07/2026 18:13

Ver old fashioned misogynistic terms. I’m partner free.

noctilucentcloud · 11/07/2026 18:12

It's very old fashioned and I don't think many people think it's acceptable, hence the fact the journalist has issued an apology.

steff13 · 11/07/2026 17:51

Anewuser · 11/07/2026 17:47

They are old fashioned and in real life I’ve not heard people use those words.

Ann Widdicombe described herself as this.