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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did she just not want it?

89 replies

lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 17:36

I bought my mum a handheld fan for her face during this heatwave. Has a thyroid issue so finds it hard to regulate temp.

I bought it for her and she said it didn't work. I asked her to send a video and she didn't.

I got it to return to Amazon and it works fine.

She's one of those weird people who says no to everything. I also bought her a sun umbrella which she used but she said not to at the start. We were outside today which is why I wanted to make sure she was as cool as possible - she also doesn't help herself with water, fans, hats, sun creams etc

OP posts:
lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:06

....

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 11/07/2026 18:08

stop buying her things

JohnnieFedora · 11/07/2026 18:09

Just let her be and then tell her to STFU if she ever complains about being too hot.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/07/2026 18:10

She doesn’t want your help.

Leave her be.

lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:10

JohnnieFedora · 11/07/2026 18:09

Just let her be and then tell her to STFU if she ever complains about being too hot.

I didn't fancy a trip to a and e with her

OP posts:
lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:11

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/07/2026 18:10

She doesn’t want your help.

Leave her be.

Yeah and I don't want a heat exhausted elderly parent with me....

OP posts:
NormasArse · 11/07/2026 18:11

I also have a thyroid issue- I’ll take your fan!

deeahgwitch · 11/07/2026 18:11

JohnnieFedora · 11/07/2026 18:09

Just let her be and then tell her to STFU if she ever complains about being too hot.

👏🏻

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/07/2026 18:11

lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:10

I didn't fancy a trip to a and e with her

You don’t need to. Just wave as you close the ambulance door.

If people don’t want help then there’s nothing you can do.

ThirdStorm · 11/07/2026 18:18

I got my mum a Fan last year, just convinced her to use it today and she loves it. No idea why she hasn’t previously! 🤣

Naurrr · 11/07/2026 18:20

Leave her to it, no adult needs pandered to.

Rituelec · 11/07/2026 18:20

I offered my mum a spare air con unit. Brand new. She said no. She'd rather moan

Hadalifeonce · 11/07/2026 18:22

Even my mother's doctor said to me once. 'You can lead a horse to water.........'

thejelliclecats · 11/07/2026 18:24

She's a grown adult. She can buy her own fan.

JLou08 · 11/07/2026 18:25

Maybe it's her way of telling you to stop treating her like a child.

Fortheloveofpizza · 11/07/2026 18:25

My mum was like this. I stopped trying and much happier for it.

AgentPidge · 11/07/2026 18:26

She's an adult. She made decisions for you when you couldn't make them for yourself. Let her make her own choices.

HolyHannah · 11/07/2026 18:33

I hate fans! Like hate, hate, hate them. So no fans for me, yes, even in this heat. I also have thyroid issues. They don't cool me, just annoy me!

lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:34

HolyHannah · 11/07/2026 18:33

I hate fans! Like hate, hate, hate them. So no fans for me, yes, even in this heat. I also have thyroid issues. They don't cool me, just annoy me!

Then just say that....

OP posts:
lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:35

AgentPidge · 11/07/2026 18:26

She's an adult. She made decisions for you when you couldn't make them for yourself. Let her make her own choices.

She didn't have to lie

OP posts:
lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:36

Fortheloveofpizza · 11/07/2026 18:25

My mum was like this. I stopped trying and much happier for it.

Unfortantly we had a planned day out and didn't want her fuckery

OP posts:
lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:36

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/07/2026 18:10

She doesn’t want your help.

Leave her be.

Then don't lie and let me use the fan

OP posts:
lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:37

AgentPidge · 11/07/2026 18:26

She's an adult. She made decisions for you when you couldn't make them for yourself. Let her make her own choices.

I gave her the choice not to use them.

OP posts:
thejelliclecats · 11/07/2026 18:48

lloydgrossmanbol · 11/07/2026 18:35

She didn't have to lie

But why are you buying her a fan to begin with? She's not a toddler.

If she wanted a fan, she would buy her own.

WallaceinAnderland · 11/07/2026 18:58

Leave her alone, she can't do right for wrong here.

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