To think people need to engage their brains before posting?

Remember these people's vote counts just as much as yours. Grim isn't it.

No, if they are genuinely trying to be helpful. What if the OP erroneously thought that the keys were lost between A and B? What if they keys are either in A or B? And no, the police cannot be automatically presumed to have looked at FB or Insta, no. You give more credit to the wrong people - the key losers and the police.

Every school communication ever;

Header: School Name - Year 8 x Activity FRIDAY 23rd Month Year

Year 8 will be doing x activity on next Friday 23rd Month. The activity will start after morning registration and end at 3pm. They will leave school at the usual time of 3.15pm.

They need to wear full school uniform.

They will need to bring a packed lunch and drink or if they are in receipt of Free School Meals, you can complete a short form <here> to have a packed lunch provided by the canteen. The direct link to request it is <full link rather than shortcut>.

Any further enquiries, please contact theusualenquiry@theschoolname as this email does not accept replies.

FORM (title School Name Y8 Activity FRIDAY 23rd Month Year)

Child's first name
Child's surname

Does your child have any dietary requirements or allergies/intolerances? (eg, vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, dairy free, nut and seed allergy). Please give details here;

The responses (a quarter of which are found lingering on the server because they copied the NOREPLY email address and pasted it into the To box and 45% are sent to form tutors, heads of year, admissions and the one for private hire of the sports hall)

When are they doing it?
What activity are they doing?
Do they have to wear school uniform?
Can they come in late?
Can I pick them up after lunch when it finishes?
Why aren't you providing food?
Are the packed lunches free?
We don't get FSM, can we order a free packed lunch?
Where is the form to order a lunch?
What about if we want them to have a hot meal?
What are the details?
Can they go to McDonald's?
Why haven't we been told about this activity I've heard about from another parent? (sent by replying to the email telling them about the activity)
Can they do y activity that isn't on offer instead?

And the form responses usually have at least 7 people entering their name instead of the child's, 3 aren't using the name they are recorded on the MIS for, 2 have put down their other child's name instead of the one that's actually in Year 8, 1 has done it for their 27 year old, 1 for their 4 year old, 4 have used nicknames and the allergy/intolerance/dietary requirement question has answers such as Yes, Epipen (who? You didn't give their name. And WHAT? There is no record of this allergy once we've tracked down which child it is), one tells us they're deathly allergic to vegetables and chicken with bones in and another throws in a lengthy description of why their child shouldn't have detention on Tuesday, culminating in 'this has been reported to OTFSEAD'.

Get to the day, kids turn up in shorts and crop tops at 9.30am because 'we were told it was non uniform', 4 haven't got any food, 5 FSM kids don't fancy it despite their parents requesting it but have food of their own, so the 4 are offered the FSM packed lunch, one parent calls complaining their kid isn't home yet at 2pm and 9 don't arrive at all because 'we thought you said the school was closed'.

The following Monday, there are 3 AI generated FORMAL COMPLAINT emails because we a) didn't provide free food, b) provided free food the kid didn't like, c) didn't take the kids with no food to McDonalds, d) never told anybody they were doing this activity so when the kid didn't come in they missed out and it has to be done again (and this child happens to be in Y7 anyhow).

Not forgetting the people on here who only half read a post before typing their tuppence worth. For example, people asking about whether budget is enough to fresh up a house with new kitchen cabinets and people reply saying it's not enough for an extension. Read first before you waste your time.

Yes and you make a good point. People come on social media to have a chat. Chatting often includes repetition, stating the obvious and going off on a tangent. It's not a board meeting between busy executives. Participants can't really accuse other participants of wasting their valuable time. All of it is chat.

Yep, fair point if they want a recommendation. It's the ones that seem to think the local Facebook page is like a booking service that annoy me.

I had a friend like this. She always wanted to be the first to reply even if it was to inform me she had no idea what I'm talking about

You see this on here a lot. "My DS14 is having trouble with...."

"How old is your child?"
"Boy or girl?"

Fair enough, if you're new to Mumsnet and don't know the abbreviations, but then lurk a little until you do, or look them up before jumping in to comment.

Also: "I asked AI for you, OP and this is what it said." As if asking AI is some special skill and the OP can't possibly do so themselves. Or like AI is more likely to have some incredible insight into OP's, more so than a poster who has lived what OP has lived.

I can understand that better if people are looking for recommendations though.

You see it here all the time. I have to remind myself that many here are less bright than people I know in the real world.

They're hilarious to be be fair.

Police asking for witnesses to e g a car theft "does anyone had cctv" - yeah, pretty sure old plod have the covered you muppet.

I love a nose on Tattle every now and then, a woman was talking about quite a serious caffeine addiction. A helpful poster had asked her if she’d tried weening herself off.

This! I get so annoyed when programmes do flashback scenes, as if we’re that dense we didn’t pickup on something so obvious, but there are those who are that dense. Drives me mad.

I can probably think of only once where someone asked "have you tried?" and it was actually helpful. I struggle with picture instructions and someone suggested looking on YouTube

I once had someone suggest that I could see better if I just wore stronger glasses. By this point I'd been under a consultant for some 25 odd years who had obviously considered that. They actually do very little to help

Depressingly, every visit and phone call with my ILs is exactly like this and has been for 15 years. I suspect they’re the ones everyone laughs at on their local FB.

We are near an airport. About 100 people a day ( seems like) ask the local FB about transfers.
There was a bad car crash in a car park near us recently in a public place.
Every Facebook detective was out in force commenting, ‘driver going too fast’ ‘ driver had a medical emergency’ ‘ have the police looked at cctv’ etc etc. stating their opinions as if they are facts.
A lot of the comments had ‘would of , should of’ in which also really annoyed me 😂

The ones which drive me mad are they "Is anyone available to bath tomorrow morning" or "Anyone know any taxi firms" Surely it would be quicker to just google the number of a plumber / local taxi than open Facebook, make a post and hang about all day waiting for the replies.

Cancel the cheque is my advice

I used to work in a university and frequently had this sort of response from students who clearly hadn't read more than the first sentence of some detailed email I had sent out (with bullet points). I just used to reply - "please read my previous email".

I've never been bothered about Facebook or social media generally, so I made the mistake of agreeing to run the Facebook page of a long-running running event I help organise in our town - basically posting info and answering questions. Never, ever again; not for all the tea in China. A fairly typical exchange would be:

[Me]'...please note that vehicular access to the market place will be restricted between midday and 3pm and you might have a bit of a wait to get through'
[Facebook moron]'Well I ned to get down Back Lane in my van at 8am I'm coming thru anyway don't try to stop me some of us have work to do'
[Me]'You'll be fine as it is the market place that is affected between midday and 3pm, not Back Lane and not at 8am'
[Facebook moron]'You can't just shut the road I pay road tax bloody govermunt'
[Me]'We have liaised with the council, the highways authority, the emergency services etc, everything has been done by the book'
[Facebook moron]'I pay road tax'

...and about another 1,000 similar examples. I now avoid local Facebook groups entirely as I don't want to be faced with such clear evidence of just how thick and nasty some of the people you see around town really are

You get it on MN threads. Someone joins a thread 15 pages in with "I haven't read the thread, but have you thought of (insert bloody obvious thing already mentioned in the OP and covered in the first three responses)"

I always thinks some of the really idiotic replies of stating the bleeding obvious is from people just desperate to see their names on posts on that day's local FB page so they look as if they are adding something relevant to what's going on.

Dimwits

I don't mind the keys scenario because people posting this sort of stuff genuinely might not have thought of actually going to have a look - but the police ones annoy me a lot.
It's like they expect the police to update like a crime series ....Jane: I wonder if the police thought of interviewing the guy running from the scene with the hatchet? Bob: Why have the said they are looking for a white male? Eric: I wonder if they have checked the riverboat where Riverboat Jack was living?

I would quite like an algorithm where if someone says exactly the same useless thing as 400 other people, that their comments were not accepted. (Or at least, they were asked "do you really want to post the same useless comment as 400 other people?")