Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not understand why I am facing disciplinary at work for such a non-issue?

107 replies

Scarlett9004 · 11/07/2026 15:01

Hello,
My situation is this. I work in a UK company where all staff are trained to perform every role, yet in practice, particular individuals are consistently assigned only physically hard or only easy tasks-sometimes for many months in a row. I am usually given the harder ones and recently started feeling burned out by the daily grind, so a few days ago, I vented to one colleague, saying that this allocation is unfair given that we all receive the same wages, and mentioned several people who exclusively perform the easier tasks, including one Polish lady (let's call her Annie).

Yesterday, Annie’s husband (let's call him Tommy) approached me during the shift and shouted angrily, "Listen carefully! It's not your business why Annie never does physically demanding jobs. Stop gossiping about this or I will report you!" Offended by his tone, I retorted that I can speak whatever I like and that freedom of speech still exists. He turned bright red, walked away and reported me to the management. They launched an investigation, which I feel might lead to disciplinary action.

Aibu to not understand why the management are taking this so seriously? Can they really punish me even though I haven't been abusive or violent, but just complained about something that is bothering me? In Poland, Tommy would be told to bugger off with such rubbish-I know because I grew up in a neighbouring country! Also, I must note that Annie cannot be pregnant now as her duties, albeit quite light, are not pregnancy-friendly and all pregnant employees are always moved to office roles; this means she is provided with easy work purely due to favouritism.

OP posts:
NormasArse · 11/07/2026 15:07

Should Annie have to declare to any nosy randomer why she can’t do the more physically demanding roles, or should her dignity and privacy be respected?

Stop gossiping, and talk to your bosses about your own burnout.

Samewrinklesnewname · 11/07/2026 15:07

You’re coming across as racist by bringing that the colleague and her partner are Polish-that has nothing to do with the issue…did you bring up your colleague’s nationality when you were venting?

Morechocmorechoc · 11/07/2026 15:06

Does Tommy work there? If not he shouldn't be talking to you at all.

Just ask management why you never get the easier tasks. Tell them youre burnt out and a more even rota would be beneficial for everyone.

Dearg · 11/07/2026 15:06

Annie may be on light duties due to a health issue, which is none of your business.

Gossiping, speculating why Annie appears to work only easier tasks, and generally creating rumours about a co-worker is an HR issue, and that is why management are involved.

If you have a problem , address it to your supervisor.

Totaldramallama · 11/07/2026 15:05

Well you're not facing disciplinary yet, it's an investigation that might find no further action. Also, is this about your gossiping or about how you spoke to Tommy? The reasons people do certain work are really none of your business and if it is negatively impacting you then raise it via proper channels

MrsEmmelinePankhurst · 11/07/2026 15:04

Maybe she has another protected characteristic that you (rightly) don’t know about.

I’d have thought the best way to handle this would have been to speak to management respectfully about equal sharing of duties, not mouthing off to colleagues and bringing other people’s names into it without their knowledge.

Or maybe she is The Favourite and her husband is an arsehole….

*edited to add the word “thought” which I’d missed out

Ipsevenenabibas · 11/07/2026 15:04

You are speculating. You have no idea why Annie is doing lighter duties. You have no right to know either. Freedom of speech is all good and well and that includes Tommy coming to you and responding as he did. If you don't like how it is at work raise it with management.