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AIBU?

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AIBU to not understand why I am facing disciplinary at work for such a non-issue?

107 replies

Scarlett9004 · 11/07/2026 15:01

Hello,
My situation is this. I work in a UK company where all staff are trained to perform every role, yet in practice, particular individuals are consistently assigned only physically hard or only easy tasks-sometimes for many months in a row. I am usually given the harder ones and recently started feeling burned out by the daily grind, so a few days ago, I vented to one colleague, saying that this allocation is unfair given that we all receive the same wages, and mentioned several people who exclusively perform the easier tasks, including one Polish lady (let's call her Annie).

Yesterday, Annie’s husband (let's call him Tommy) approached me during the shift and shouted angrily, "Listen carefully! It's not your business why Annie never does physically demanding jobs. Stop gossiping about this or I will report you!" Offended by his tone, I retorted that I can speak whatever I like and that freedom of speech still exists. He turned bright red, walked away and reported me to the management. They launched an investigation, which I feel might lead to disciplinary action.

Aibu to not understand why the management are taking this so seriously? Can they really punish me even though I haven't been abusive or violent, but just complained about something that is bothering me? In Poland, Tommy would be told to bugger off with such rubbish-I know because I grew up in a neighbouring country! Also, I must note that Annie cannot be pregnant now as her duties, albeit quite light, are not pregnancy-friendly and all pregnant employees are always moved to office roles; this means she is provided with easy work purely due to favouritism.

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 11/07/2026 16:27

it’s fairly toxic and unpleasant behaviour on your part.

Why Annie has lighter duties is non of your business. There could be many reasons.

At this moment though you are not facing disciplinary action just an investigation.

Now is the time to apologise and reconsider your behaviour.

Topseyt123 · 11/07/2026 16:27

Freedom of speech does not mean freedom to insult and shout at your colleagues.

You have no idea what medical issues Annie may have that might have her on lighter duties and you have no right to that private and confidential information.

Frankly, if you think that pregnancy is the only condition that could have a woman on "lighter duties" then you really don't have much imagination at all. There are plenty of others, and they might not always be visible. In fact, the majority probably aren't.

You were very silly to speak as you did, and even more silly to mouth off at Tommy about freedom of speech giving you licence to do and say whatever you liked.

Perhaps the best thing you could do now would be to apologise sincerely to Annie and Tommy for your atrocious behaviour. Via HR too.

If you are unhappy in your role and feel that you are approaching burnout then that is a totally separate issue, and one you should have raised with your manager on your own with no reference to Annie or to anyone else's nationality. You still could, though the way you have behaved doesn't really show you up in the best light I'm afraid.

BillieWiper · 11/07/2026 16:26

He's right it's not your business. Though if he doesn't work there himself he shouldn't really have got involved. But you don't know why people are on certain duties and their health is confidential.

I also don't know the reason you said what Nationality she was? What difference does that make?

Oftenaddled · 11/07/2026 16:25

IStillHearTheWaves · 11/07/2026 15:55

It sounds as though the OP comes from Eastern Europe herself, coming from 'a neighbouring country', she also mentioned other people too who were on lighter duties, but 'Annie's' husband took it upon himself to try and intimidate the OP. Stop being lazy with the 'racist' labels.

OP, if you talk about your colleagues like this, there always a chance they're going to be put out. If you have a problem with the distribution of duties, you need to raise it with your manager and it needs to be on the basis of you reaching burnout from the duties you are continually undertaking, not what other people are doing.

Edited

Not saying OP is racist, but Poland has suffered badly from racism and xenophobia from neighbouring countries over the years, and Eastern Europeans are perfectly capable of xenophobia and racism against other Eastern Europeans.

The OP would be well advised to leave nationality and culture out of this. It's not relevant. Her employer's duty of care is relevant. If she needs reasonable adjustments, they should be offered regardless of skill or seniority. That's what she should focus on.

BirthdayTrash · 11/07/2026 16:23

Scarlett9004 · 11/07/2026 15:46

Talking to the management is pointless, I tried to, but was rebuffed; they said that only top performers deserve lighter jobs and that I would get them only when I achieve certain targets on the harder ones, but I am struggling so much already and pushing even more is impossible! Yet they are refusing to listen to me and are consistently punishing me for being unable to achieve.

Yes, Tommy also works at the company.

I've mentioned their place of birth because I am from a country that has a border with Poland and a similar mentality; I was astounded when I found out that the management were taking action, because in our native region, you would be told not to disturb the higher ups with 'silly high school-style drama.'

Also, in cases of serious health problems, the company usually sends you home to recover instead of providing adjustments, so I suspect Annie is one of the favourites because she used to perform the harder tasks exceptionally.

I’m amazed that in whatever time you have been/worked here you haven’t figured out that we have a different working culture and our own employment law in place.

What happens in your “native region” is utterly irrelevant.

Delphiniumandlupins · 11/07/2026 16:20

You have answered your own question as to why Annie is getting lighter duties, she previously performed exceptionally on heavier tasks.

NoSausage · 11/07/2026 16:15

Yabu - you whinged about a specific person which has no positive benefits, rather than raising with your manager, who could have discussed YOUR circumstances with YOU.

How does bitching about Annie help you or the company?

Shareadog · 11/07/2026 16:15

So you’re both underperforming and moaning both to management and colleagues. No wonder you’re not a favourite!

Soontobe60 · 11/07/2026 16:14

Jc2001 · 11/07/2026 16:12

You shouldn't have targeted specific individuals in you rant. You have no idea if their personal situation. If your unhappy with your allocation then talk to your manager of find another job.

She didn’t - she mentioned several of the employees who seem to have been given a lighter, more favourable job, than her.

PeachOctopus · 11/07/2026 16:14

Samewrinklesnewname · 11/07/2026 15:07

You’re coming across as racist by bringing that the colleague and her partner are Polish-that has nothing to do with the issue…did you bring up your colleague’s nationality when you were venting?

I don’t think it is racism to say what nationality they are.

Cla7 · 11/07/2026 16:13

I think you need to focus on your situation with the company and leave colleagues out. If you’re being treated unfairly, raise it. If you’re unable to continue doing your tasks due to exhaustion, tell management very clearly. If your company is so shit that they don’t care about fairness or exhausting their staff, look for a new job.

Jc2001 · 11/07/2026 16:12

Scarlett9004 · 11/07/2026 15:01

Hello,
My situation is this. I work in a UK company where all staff are trained to perform every role, yet in practice, particular individuals are consistently assigned only physically hard or only easy tasks-sometimes for many months in a row. I am usually given the harder ones and recently started feeling burned out by the daily grind, so a few days ago, I vented to one colleague, saying that this allocation is unfair given that we all receive the same wages, and mentioned several people who exclusively perform the easier tasks, including one Polish lady (let's call her Annie).

Yesterday, Annie’s husband (let's call him Tommy) approached me during the shift and shouted angrily, "Listen carefully! It's not your business why Annie never does physically demanding jobs. Stop gossiping about this or I will report you!" Offended by his tone, I retorted that I can speak whatever I like and that freedom of speech still exists. He turned bright red, walked away and reported me to the management. They launched an investigation, which I feel might lead to disciplinary action.

Aibu to not understand why the management are taking this so seriously? Can they really punish me even though I haven't been abusive or violent, but just complained about something that is bothering me? In Poland, Tommy would be told to bugger off with such rubbish-I know because I grew up in a neighbouring country! Also, I must note that Annie cannot be pregnant now as her duties, albeit quite light, are not pregnancy-friendly and all pregnant employees are always moved to office roles; this means she is provided with easy work purely due to favouritism.

You shouldn't have targeted specific individuals in you rant. You have no idea if their personal situation. If your unhappy with your allocation then talk to your manager of find another job.

Soontobe60 · 11/07/2026 16:12

chirrupybird · 11/07/2026 15:49

Anyone can talk to anyone, freedom of speech and all that. Talking about a colleague negatively to other colleagues is not on, if you have a problem with someone at work go to management don't gossip and spread rumours.

The OP did not do what you’re suggesting. She was talking about a group of colleagues and herself, she didn’t single any one person out. That is neither gossiping nor spreading rumours, what she was talking about was a statement of fact.

LuckyHazelFox · 11/07/2026 16:10

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WinterAconite · 11/07/2026 16:10

It sounds like you were having a moan to a colleague when feeling under pressure and then the colleague has dropped you in it by gossiping. Then Tommy has shouted aggressively at you which isn't acceptable

Soontobe60 · 11/07/2026 16:09

Hankunamatata · 11/07/2026 15:29

You are maliciously gossiping of course your going to be disciplined.

Surely your not daft enough to not realise Annie may be disabled.

Having a conversation about the fairness of task allocations isn’t gossiping. The OP mentioned several employees who have a lighter workload, and specifically mentioned one in her post because that employees husband shouted at her and put in a complaint.
OP, yes, you should have gone straight to your employer about this rather than vent to a colleague - primarily because this colleague clearly doesn’t have your back as they told others what you’d said. However, I would put in a complaint about being shouted at in the workplace by another employee.
It is only fair that if someone perceives that they are being treated less favourably than colleagues on the same pay scale who are employed to do the same job then of course they’ll feel aggrieved. Perhaps the OP should be given a pay rise seeing as her job is physically more demanding.

Larrythecatforpm · 11/07/2026 16:07

Be very surprised if your not sacked over this.

Ipsevenenabibas · 11/07/2026 16:07

Arltan · 11/07/2026 16:02

Go off sick immediately stating you were intimidated by Tommy and you're too scared to go into work.

I hope this is a joke.

Octavia64 · 11/07/2026 16:05

Freedom of speech means that the government won’t act against you for things you say (and England does not have it and never has - the government can act against you for speech intended to incite violence, racist speech etc).

your company absolutely can take action against you for what you say

Arltan · 11/07/2026 16:02

Go off sick immediately stating you were intimidated by Tommy and you're too scared to go into work.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/07/2026 16:01

None of your business re Annie. You should complain if your duties are too much for you.

dizzydizzydizzy · 11/07/2026 15:59

Yes, you have the freedom to say (most of) what you want. But don’t be surprised if people get offended and you get criticized. It doesn’t sound like you said anything terrible to be fair but I’m still not surprised that you have rocked the boat.

JustMyView13 · 11/07/2026 15:55

It’s not your business as to why someone may have reasonable adjustments in the workplace. Nor do you need to be notified if they do not involve you. You should mind your business about these things, if you’re finding the work to be too hard then raise this with your manager and suggest some changes that would help you.

Ipsevenenabibas · 11/07/2026 15:55

Scarlett9004 · 11/07/2026 15:46

Talking to the management is pointless, I tried to, but was rebuffed; they said that only top performers deserve lighter jobs and that I would get them only when I achieve certain targets on the harder ones, but I am struggling so much already and pushing even more is impossible! Yet they are refusing to listen to me and are consistently punishing me for being unable to achieve.

Yes, Tommy also works at the company.

I've mentioned their place of birth because I am from a country that has a border with Poland and a similar mentality; I was astounded when I found out that the management were taking action, because in our native region, you would be told not to disturb the higher ups with 'silly high school-style drama.'

Also, in cases of serious health problems, the company usually sends you home to recover instead of providing adjustments, so I suspect Annie is one of the favourites because she used to perform the harder tasks exceptionally.

It isn't impossible though is it, as Annie has demonstrated. Your attitude isn't coming across well on this thread. If the managers have said light duties are for the best performers you have a couple of options:- become one of the best performers or find another job.

IStillHearTheWaves · 11/07/2026 15:55

Samewrinklesnewname · 11/07/2026 15:07

You’re coming across as racist by bringing that the colleague and her partner are Polish-that has nothing to do with the issue…did you bring up your colleague’s nationality when you were venting?

It sounds as though the OP comes from Eastern Europe herself, coming from 'a neighbouring country', she also mentioned other people too who were on lighter duties, but 'Annie's' husband took it upon himself to try and intimidate the OP. Stop being lazy with the 'racist' labels.

OP, if you talk about your colleagues like this, there always a chance they're going to be put out. If you have a problem with the distribution of duties, you need to raise it with your manager and it needs to be on the basis of you reaching burnout from the duties you are continually undertaking, not what other people are doing.