Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not understand why I am facing disciplinary at work for such a non-issue?

107 replies

Scarlett9004 · 11/07/2026 15:01

Hello,
My situation is this. I work in a UK company where all staff are trained to perform every role, yet in practice, particular individuals are consistently assigned only physically hard or only easy tasks-sometimes for many months in a row. I am usually given the harder ones and recently started feeling burned out by the daily grind, so a few days ago, I vented to one colleague, saying that this allocation is unfair given that we all receive the same wages, and mentioned several people who exclusively perform the easier tasks, including one Polish lady (let's call her Annie).

Yesterday, Annie’s husband (let's call him Tommy) approached me during the shift and shouted angrily, "Listen carefully! It's not your business why Annie never does physically demanding jobs. Stop gossiping about this or I will report you!" Offended by his tone, I retorted that I can speak whatever I like and that freedom of speech still exists. He turned bright red, walked away and reported me to the management. They launched an investigation, which I feel might lead to disciplinary action.

Aibu to not understand why the management are taking this so seriously? Can they really punish me even though I haven't been abusive or violent, but just complained about something that is bothering me? In Poland, Tommy would be told to bugger off with such rubbish-I know because I grew up in a neighbouring country! Also, I must note that Annie cannot be pregnant now as her duties, albeit quite light, are not pregnancy-friendly and all pregnant employees are always moved to office roles; this means she is provided with easy work purely due to favouritism.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Oftenaddled · 12/07/2026 20:14

Scarlett9004 · 12/07/2026 15:48

Hi again,

Thank you all for your replies. This is gonna be quite long, so I hope you have enough patience to read. As I already said, discussing reasonable adjustments is futile because the company doesn't do them: if you bring a sick note saying 'amended duties', you are sent home until it expires, as they claim they have no alternative work for you. Annie used to do the harder tasks just... immaculately, so was moved to the easier ones as a reward. Yes, she proved the hard ones are not impossible to achieve... but they are achievable for her, not for me! I am not like her, I lack stamina, physical strength and struggle with speed and motor coordination since childhood. The management see it, but they want us all to meet the standards and are forcing me to do something I am simply not capable of.

This is why I got frustrated and resorted to whingeing to a colleague. Also, however absurd it sounds, I've even started dreaming to get pregnant just to get a long break from all the graft, because then the company will have a duty to move me to a desk job... I haven't shared it with anyone because people will think I'm bonkers! But I'm not, I'm just tired, exhausted, desperate and envious.

The industry I work in is logistics. The harder duties involve picking various goods into cages, and the lighter duties are transporting full cages to the loading areas. When picking, speed and quantity are strictly monitored, but when transporting cages, there are no performance metrics, so you don't have to constantly rush; simply not being too lazy is enough! I really dislike this unfair difference, because if you underperform in picking, they start putting you on improvement plans and can eventually dismiss you.

I think that you should join a union, OP, or get a rep involved if you are already in a union. If the workplace can make reasonable adjustments they must do so.

But - if you take them on over this, stay focused. Don't dilute your case by complaining about individuals - even a few of them - or cultural differences. Hope you get somewhere.

TheGreatDownandOut · 12/07/2026 18:52

Regardless of the nuance and whether or not it was unreasonable of you to complain to your coworker, I absolutely do not think you should received any disciplinary action for voicing your opinion at work. That’s madness.

x2boys · 12/07/2026 18:49

Freedom of speech doesnt mean you can say what you want without repercussions.

maxslice · 12/07/2026 18:47

Maybe she’s on lighter duties because, as you said yourself, she has previously excelled and proven herself valuable enough to be assigned where management thinks she’ll be best placed to meet their objectives.

Restlessdreams1994 · 12/07/2026 18:44

Picture this the other way around: you have a disability which means you cannot do physically heavy work, so your manager agrees to give you light duties as a reasonable adjustment. Understandably, you want to keep your disability private.

A colleague decides to start bitching to other colleagues behind your back about the fact that they perceive their workload to be heavier than yours. They don’t raise their concerns to a manager in the correct manner, nor do they speak directly to you.

How would you feel if you were Annie?

It sounds like your managers are being proactive in stamping out workplace bullying and for that I applaud them.

Jc2001 · 12/07/2026 18:37

Soontobe60 · 11/07/2026 16:14

She didn’t - she mentioned several of the employees who seem to have been given a lighter, more favourable job, than her.

So she mentioned individuals then.

OldCrohn · 12/07/2026 16:25

People that can meet the metrics when they're in the monitored roles progress to tasks that need less supervision.

Argue your own case but not by targeting Annie.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/07/2026 16:07

It seems a very strange place to work. You’re all paid the same wages?! Sounds like a communist company. Anyhoo, something will happen to change things.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 12/07/2026 15:49

Her health is no. Of your business. You sound awful.

Scarlett9004 · 12/07/2026 15:48

Hi again,

Thank you all for your replies. This is gonna be quite long, so I hope you have enough patience to read. As I already said, discussing reasonable adjustments is futile because the company doesn't do them: if you bring a sick note saying 'amended duties', you are sent home until it expires, as they claim they have no alternative work for you. Annie used to do the harder tasks just... immaculately, so was moved to the easier ones as a reward. Yes, she proved the hard ones are not impossible to achieve... but they are achievable for her, not for me! I am not like her, I lack stamina, physical strength and struggle with speed and motor coordination since childhood. The management see it, but they want us all to meet the standards and are forcing me to do something I am simply not capable of.

This is why I got frustrated and resorted to whingeing to a colleague. Also, however absurd it sounds, I've even started dreaming to get pregnant just to get a long break from all the graft, because then the company will have a duty to move me to a desk job... I haven't shared it with anyone because people will think I'm bonkers! But I'm not, I'm just tired, exhausted, desperate and envious.

The industry I work in is logistics. The harder duties involve picking various goods into cages, and the lighter duties are transporting full cages to the loading areas. When picking, speed and quantity are strictly monitored, but when transporting cages, there are no performance metrics, so you don't have to constantly rush; simply not being too lazy is enough! I really dislike this unfair difference, because if you underperform in picking, they start putting you on improvement plans and can eventually dismiss you.

OP posts:
pimplebum · 12/07/2026 01:56

MrsEmmelinePankhurst · 11/07/2026 15:04

Maybe she has another protected characteristic that you (rightly) don’t know about.

I’d have thought the best way to handle this would have been to speak to management respectfully about equal sharing of duties, not mouthing off to colleagues and bringing other people’s names into it without their knowledge.

Or maybe she is The Favourite and her husband is an arsehole….

*edited to add the word “thought” which I’d missed out

Edited

Tommy has freedom if speech to tell you what he thinks as much as you have freedom to gossip

you brought up a grievance in an inappropriate way you should have gone via the union

their are many reasons a person cant do heavy work not just pregnancy

maxslice · 12/07/2026 01:52

Annie may have conditions that are not visible to you. Let’s say she has fibromyalgia or lupus or anything that restricts her from heavy lifting. Tommy shouldn’t have gotten all shouty at you, but to keep talking about Annie in that way could be seen by management as contributing to a hostile work environment. They are trying to cover their own butts because the last thing the want is litigation.

Cosyblankets · 12/07/2026 00:28

Her light duties are none of your business

Tamtim · 12/07/2026 00:19

He should never have raised his voice at you but you have no idea why certain people may be put on lighter duties. If you have an issue, you should be taking it directly to management, especially if you feel you’re taking on more than your fair share.

Harrietsaunt · 12/07/2026 00:06

It’s none of your business why Annie does different work to you.

If you can’t cope with your workload you either raise it with management or leave for a different job.

Oftenaddled · 12/07/2026 00:01

IStillHearTheWaves · 11/07/2026 23:24

And what about the fact she wasn't singling out that one person?

I haven't accused her of doing that or of being racist. I agree with you that she hasn't singled this woman out at work - she was complaining about a number of people.

But here she is going on about her and her husband being Polish and that is what I'd advise her not to do during the investigation. Suggesting that someone should behave differently because they are from another culture could be seen as singling them out, if that's what she does during the investigation.

MushMonster · 11/07/2026 23:31

This is your mistake: you have moved the focus from yourself being exhausted with the same repetitive task, to Annie and her tasks.
You should have gone to management and ask when are you going to have other tasks allocated, as these are overtiring you.
Now, Annie may have health issues and her RA in the company limits her to certain tasks. None of your business.
You should have kept it all about yourself. Your colleagues are not your friends. And you have learnt the hard way.
In your meetings, just focus on your tasks and that they are making you feel burnt out.

IStillHearTheWaves · 11/07/2026 23:24

Oftenaddled · 11/07/2026 16:25

Not saying OP is racist, but Poland has suffered badly from racism and xenophobia from neighbouring countries over the years, and Eastern Europeans are perfectly capable of xenophobia and racism against other Eastern Europeans.

The OP would be well advised to leave nationality and culture out of this. It's not relevant. Her employer's duty of care is relevant. If she needs reasonable adjustments, they should be offered regardless of skill or seniority. That's what she should focus on.

And what about the fact she wasn't singling out that one person?

PenelopeJoanSterling · 11/07/2026 19:42

who leaked it to Tommy ? @Scarlett9004 but personally with other collegues everyone is their own plan with management

Jackiepumpkinhead · 11/07/2026 19:36

Ensure you make a complaint against Tommy.

somanychristmaslights · 11/07/2026 19:31

Sounds like you aren’t going to get anywhere in that company so I would look for a new job.

thesilliestgoose · 11/07/2026 19:30

the fact that you’re being investigated and still didn’t click that singling her out for being polish when you were tying this absolute tripe out says you’re the arsehole.

Morechocmorechoc · 11/07/2026 19:27

chirrupybird · 11/07/2026 15:49

Anyone can talk to anyone, freedom of speech and all that. Talking about a colleague negatively to other colleagues is not on, if you have a problem with someone at work go to management don't gossip and spread rumours.

I was questioning why the husband was at the place of work...thats not normal. Freedom of speech doesnt mean shouting at someone.

Glad to know you are perfect and never gossiped about anyone...good for you.

Soontobe60 · 11/07/2026 17:58

chirrupybird · 11/07/2026 16:59

Hardly misogyny if he is defending a woman the op abused. And when she said I can say whatever I like (about your wife), he was probably furious but just walked away and reported her quite rightly.

Good grief! The op mentioned ‘annie’ along with other colleagues when discussing the unfairness of some colleagues seemingly having a more cushy job than others. If you think that constitutes ‘abuse’ then you’re clearly not very resilient. It was a private conversation that she’s entitled to have which her colleague then went spreading round the workplace.

Soontobe60 · 11/07/2026 17:55

Hatty65 · 11/07/2026 16:36

In Poland, Tommy would be told to bugger off with such rubbish-I know because I grew up in a neighbouring country!

That probably explains why you seem to think 'freedom of speech' exists in England. It doesn't. There is no legal right to freedom of speech and there are actually stringent laws about what you can and can't say about others.

You are facing a disciplinary for making comments about co workers that are not your place to make.

Article 10 of the Human Rights Act allows for ‘freedom of expression’ which in effect is freedom of speech.
Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. This right shall include freedom to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference by public authority and regardless of frontiers

Swipe left for the next trending thread