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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel harassed by neighbours' children and their parents?

194 replies

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:30

Long story warning.

I've spent the past five years with my partner in our new home, and suffice to say things started well, but in recent years I feel like our sanity has been stripped away one incident after another.

It started with what some parents on this site seem to think is "the inevitable and acceptable influx of toys" of various kinds being launched into the garden which at first I politely returned and heard no, "thank you!" or "sorry!". When I saw the mother of the children literally encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden, I stopped returning them as a protest.

At that point, toys were less frequent, but balls started to be kicked at the fence and doors in their new garage conversion started to be slammed. I didn't know if they knew how thin their walls were, so I put some music on loud just to give them a hint, and the banging got worse. Some friends were visiting and were in the garden and the banging started. Our friend said "Blimey, that is loud!", and then we heard knocking. They'd heard what he said and went in the house to purposely knock on their wall. I paid them a visit later that week, as my partner was working in his study and I could hear the banging from the other end of the garden. The father just lied to my face and said he couldn't hear any banging. Gaslighting at its finest.

Lost, and not sure what else we could do, we had a conversation discussing a solicitor, and it was either a coincidence, or they heard me, but the very next day, there was some drilling and the banging stopped from then on. I did later learn that the grandfather of the children had fallen seriously ill and was now living at the house, so I don't think the banging stopped for entirely (or at all) our benefit. The bangs of balls on the fence continued, but at least the banging that rattled through our entire house had stopped.

Out the front of the house our drives are next to one another with no separation, and they've always just let the children cycle all about the place, including over our drive when it was empty, but when I bought myself a car, they continued to cycle and scooter around their own car, squeezing through the gap next to the car I now have on my drive. The parents obviously haven't thought a second about my property, or that it might not be appropriate to let them do that. I've just kept the thought in my mind that the camera I have pointing at my car would capture any incident, should it occur, but it's not the point. I'm sat waiting constantly now, instead of balls to fly over and damage my garden, for a child to dent my car.

Yesterday they were stood on a bin by the fence staring at my partner who was working at the outdoor dining table naked because it was so hot, and he told them to go away, as you would, with our privacy being so completely breached for no reason at all.

I appreciate that kids will be kids and accidents will happen, but there is a certain level of cause and effect that is often completely ignored in situations like this. I haven't imagined having to change the way I can use my space or how stressed I am with a sense of PTSD waiting for the next slam.

At what point does this stop being innocent and a misunderstanding and become harassment. The parents haven't said a word to us about anything, even though it's clear there is an issue, and they seem happy to egg the children on to be as annoying as possible. Am I missing something, because I thought that teaching a child some boundaries and to respect other people and their property would be important if you cared at all about how they will behave later in life?

OP posts:
LoudSnoringDog · 12/07/2026 09:35

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Anto2024 · 12/07/2026 09:27

CeciliaMars · 12/07/2026 06:22

They’ll be writing a post about you soon - I’d be horrified if my adult male next door neighbour worked naked in the garden! Neither me or my kids need to see that!

If you’re standing on a well placed bin to see into someone else’s garden with no reason, maybe you’re asking to see things you shouldn’t.

OP posts:
Sereine · 12/07/2026 09:26

Winefride · 12/07/2026 07:54

Interesting. When I commented on another thread about how disgusting and full of debauchery it was to be nude in public, someone called me a pearl clutching Plymouth Brethren, or something equally nonsensical. It is good to see that it's not just me who sees no good reason for someone to be nude in their garden where others can see. A grown man doing this is doing it for nefarious reasons and I don't care who disagrees.

What is nefarious about sitting working at a table naked where genitals can't be seen, and covering up with a towel when he moves around?

Anto2024 · 12/07/2026 09:22

Winefride · 12/07/2026 07:54

Interesting. When I commented on another thread about how disgusting and full of debauchery it was to be nude in public, someone called me a pearl clutching Plymouth Brethren, or something equally nonsensical. It is good to see that it's not just me who sees no good reason for someone to be nude in their garden where others can see. A grown man doing this is doing it for nefarious reasons and I don't care who disagrees.

Another one all to happy to call someone a pervert in not so many words. If you’ve read all 100 and something comments to check people agree with you, you might have seen the pictures of my beautiful garden, and how not overlooked it is. My neighbours’ children have been told if they make a habit of being peeping toms the police will be called, because, funnily enough, we don’t want them looking in our garden for any reason, and they have no reason or right to do it, either.

OP posts:
curtaintwitcher78 · 12/07/2026 08:15

"Get on the bin, folks, Billy Bollocko is swinging it about again!"

Winefride · 12/07/2026 07:54

Interesting. When I commented on another thread about how disgusting and full of debauchery it was to be nude in public, someone called me a pearl clutching Plymouth Brethren, or something equally nonsensical. It is good to see that it's not just me who sees no good reason for someone to be nude in their garden where others can see. A grown man doing this is doing it for nefarious reasons and I don't care who disagrees.

coolcoldfans · 12/07/2026 06:55

Autumngirl5 · 11/07/2026 16:29

So your partner is working outside sitting at a garden table stark naked and being bombarded by balls and tiny watering cans from over the fence and this is giving you PTSD?
Sorry I can’t take this seriously 😂.

While next door’s kids are stood on a bin staring at him over a 6ft fence…😂

CeciliaMars · 12/07/2026 06:22

They’ll be writing a post about you soon - I’d be horrified if my adult male next door neighbour worked naked in the garden! Neither me or my kids need to see that!

CagedBirdInACage · 11/07/2026 23:44

I think that you need to find a way to stop fixating on them. Sitting around anxiously anticipating a noise from next door isn't healthy behaviour. Noises can't hurt you, the bang isn't a gun shot, it's a completely harmless noise, a bit irritating sure but the level that you have allowed it to wind you up to isn't right.

As someone with noisy neighbours the best way I've found to cope with it is just to tune it out. My neighbours army of grandkids also throw things into our garden on purpose, I gather them up and leave them aside then dump them over the fence every so often. I've never made a big deal out of any of it, Ive lived beside them for 15 years now and barely notice their existence anymore. Sounds wishy washy but it's a mindset, if I got worked up about everything they do I'd have gone mad long ago. Kids grow up the toys will stop being thrown, the noise will ebb and flow as their family grows and changes. None of it is worth creating bad feelings over for me, life is too short to live it grouching over neighbours.

Molluscsong · 11/07/2026 23:23

I've skimmed all the pages, but I'm still concerned about naked work in the garden. All manner of health and safety issues at play here.

I like to wear a bikini in the garden, but to be honest, I'd probably be cooler in something floatier.

Maybe your dh needs to take inspiration from the man from del monte.

Tableforjoan · 11/07/2026 23:21

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 22:47

Thank you. Balls very much put away.

Ah you could have played a trick. Hide the balls in the bushes somewhere 🤣🤣

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 23:15

Fernticket · 11/07/2026 23:02

Perhaps the OPs husbands' penis is so small they needed to get closer to see it 🤣🤣

It is quite dinky, actually. A bit like a small clitoris. 🤷🏽‍♂️ What’s it to you.

OP posts:
Fernticket · 11/07/2026 23:02

SweepSqueaks · 11/07/2026 14:43

What do you mean by ‘encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden’? People are allowed to encourage their children to play with toys if that’s what was happening.

You aren’t saying that their mother was saying ‘why don’t you throw all of your toys over the fence and then we will go to Sainsbury’s because we’ve run out of milk?’ are you?

A man say he couldn’t hear banging isn’t gaslighting at it’s finest. You said the banging was doors. How is that happening all of the time? Are they just spending their days banging doors?

They shouldn’t be cycling around your car on your drive or standing on bins to look at your husband. Can’t they just look out a window to see his penis! Seems like less effort.

Perhaps the OPs husbands' penis is so small they needed to get closer to see it 🤣🤣

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 22:47

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2026 22:43

Not the point but your garden is so pretty and the pearl clutchers will be pleased to see it's currently ballsack free 😉

Thank you. Balls very much put away.

OP posts:
AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2026 22:43

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 22:26

Luckily for them, they were never at any risk from seeing his ballsack. I can’t edit the main post for some reason, but I have explained in great detail throughout the thread below about how the garden is laid out and what can and cannot be seen. The one window can be seen on the back wall above our pergola. That’s the only window that looks in, and sight lines don’t cover the whole garden.

Not the point but your garden is so pretty and the pearl clutchers will be pleased to see it's currently ballsack free 😉

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 22:26

pootlingalong5 · 11/07/2026 20:53

Literally op it isn’t normal to be naked in your garden when you can be overlooked. It might be your property but the neighbours also have the right to look out of their window without getting confronted with your husbands ballsack.

Luckily for them, they were never at any risk from seeing his ballsack. I can’t edit the main post for some reason, but I have explained in great detail throughout the thread below about how the garden is laid out and what can and cannot be seen. The one window can be seen on the back wall above our pergola. That’s the only window that looks in, and sight lines don’t cover the whole garden.

AIBU to feel harassed by neighbours' children and their parents?
AIBU to feel harassed by neighbours' children and their parents?
OP posts:
pootlingalong5 · 11/07/2026 20:53

Literally op it isn’t normal to be naked in your garden when you can be overlooked. It might be your property but the neighbours also have the right to look out of their window without getting confronted with your husbands ballsack.

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 20:13

somanychristmaslights · 11/07/2026 19:39

Lesson learnt - never mention your partner being naked as that derails the thread.

have you actually spoken to your neighbour??

I spoke to my neighbour about the frequent banging of the doors, and they basically laughed in my face saying they hadn’t heard any banging. The reason I don’t believe that at all is because he just walked out of the house that the banging was just happening in moments before I pressed their door bell. As I said, I talked about contacting a solicitor and the very next day it stopped, so either they knew exactly what they were doing or we are living in a world of impossible coincidences.

I guess I can take the wins that we are no longer bombarded with balls and the banging mostly stopped. I will take the advice posted somewhere above about blocking the gap where the face appeared yesterday.

OP posts:
AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2026 20:10

ShutupLwren · 11/07/2026 19:03

Absolutely not the point of this thread but a few years ago (luckily a different house to the one we’re in now) a neighbour a few doors down kindly took in a parcel for me.
My eldest and I went to collect it and I thanked him, had a polite few sentences and left. My DC as we’re walking down his path says, “mum, his actual dick was out” I’m saying “shush don’t be daft”, and neighbour is in the window waving to us and I look down and yep, cock and balls all just on display. To make matters worse I’d even stroked his dog stood next to him, imagine if I’d missed and patted his bollocks or something?! Anyway sorry to derail.

If he asked you did you want to pet his cocker spaniel, I'm so glad you picked the spaniel.

lightseeker · 11/07/2026 19:40

OP, you sound mad as a brush.

somanychristmaslights · 11/07/2026 19:39

Lesson learnt - never mention your partner being naked as that derails the thread.

have you actually spoken to your neighbour??

cymruyespls · 11/07/2026 19:32

HobgoblinNorFoulFiend · 11/07/2026 14:52

If you want to be naked in the garden and not hear the neighbours move to a house in the middle of nowhere. YABU

Why is there always one person who has to make this idiotic comment on these threads? 🤣

That statement works both ways. If you want be able to throw shit around without losing it in neighbouring gardens, bang walls for no reason, send your screaming kids out into the garden at 7am, blast music at midnight (or insert any inconsiderate behaviour that these neighbour complaint threads throw up), then you need to move to the middle of nowhere.

Except that’s not a realistic option for most people, and you know it.
Like it or not, most people can’t afford to just pick up and move anywhere they like. Most people will end up living in close proximity to other people. So in order for us to rub along as best we can, we all need to have a little consideration for the people around us.

Howyoudoings · 11/07/2026 19:20

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 19:08

We are very lucky that we only have one window that overlooks part of our garden and it is their landing window. Where my partner was sitting cannot be seen from that window, and there is only a very small gap after a long expanse of their extension wall where they can see over if they try really hard, and my partner wasn’t visible at that point either because of the table. I didn’t think it would be so provocative to be honest, but I guess people only know their own spaces, and will see things from their own perspectives. I doubt my neighbours are on here, but I would rather not share pictures of my garden, beautiful as it is.

As hard as it is you just have to get on with I just ignore my neighbours they don’t exist is my would. Just go about your day use your garden and you kind of get immune to it after time .The worse thing you can do is not use your garden and quite your family down for them , as I find that just makes them take the p.ss even more .

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 19:08

Howyoudoings · 11/07/2026 18:30

They don’t seem to be anything you can actually do because when you break it down what are you complaining about ? Kids play with toys ? People closing doors . They are not playing loud music that was actually you . And your husband being naked in the garden is the strangest thing of all . Like put some boxers on . What about all other neighbours looking out their windows. Yes the kids should not be driving around your car . But unless to move to the middle of nowhere where you are likely to have the same or worse issues. And that’s coming from someone who can’t stand their neighbours , who also slams door and constantly arguing and seem incapable of having a conversation without swearing or shouting. And I live in a small village. But what can you do .

Edited

We are very lucky that we only have one window that overlooks part of our garden and it is their landing window. Where my partner was sitting cannot be seen from that window, and there is only a very small gap after a long expanse of their extension wall where they can see over if they try really hard, and my partner wasn’t visible at that point either because of the table. I didn’t think it would be so provocative to be honest, but I guess people only know their own spaces, and will see things from their own perspectives. I doubt my neighbours are on here, but I would rather not share pictures of my garden, beautiful as it is.

OP posts:
ShutupLwren · 11/07/2026 19:03

Absolutely not the point of this thread but a few years ago (luckily a different house to the one we’re in now) a neighbour a few doors down kindly took in a parcel for me.
My eldest and I went to collect it and I thanked him, had a polite few sentences and left. My DC as we’re walking down his path says, “mum, his actual dick was out” I’m saying “shush don’t be daft”, and neighbour is in the window waving to us and I look down and yep, cock and balls all just on display. To make matters worse I’d even stroked his dog stood next to him, imagine if I’d missed and patted his bollocks or something?! Anyway sorry to derail.