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AIBU?

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A man asked me why I crossed the road

88 replies

berriesinthesummer · 11/07/2026 11:51

I was on a walk minding my own business. A man was walking towards me and taking up most of the pavement, so I crossed over to the other side - I would usually cross this road at some point anyway as part of my usual route.

The man then called across the road to ask why I had crossed and ‘am I that scary?’ I just looked around puzzled and said ‘no?’

AIBU to feel a bit unnerved about this? I didn’t cross because he was a man, I would have done if it was anyone taking up most of the pavement as there were parked cars everywhere so it’s a bit awkward to cross people. As I had to cross at some point, I may as well have done it at that point. I find walking close to people generally very irritating whoever they are.

OP posts:
avilsdedvocate · 12/07/2026 00:05

To get to the other side
Surely

Blackwidowsbite · 12/07/2026 00:02

Why would you even say that to a stranger in the first place? What the hell is wrong with some people 🤦🏼‍♀️

mulberrymilk · 11/07/2026 23:51

ArseSkinForAFriend · 11/07/2026 12:03

Sounds like a joke that didn't land.

I wouldn't pay it any more thought.

Yes, it's always great to joke about women beind afraid of men just because men so often rape, bash, and murder them.

SpiceDad · 11/07/2026 23:33

Sounds like he was trying to intimidate you. Awful behaviour. Any decent bloke would have crossed the road before you felt the need to.

Elsvieta · 11/07/2026 23:17

"Am I that scary?"
"No, but I am".

Accompanied by your best serial killer grin.

CoffeeCantata · 11/07/2026 21:14

Suspicioustoenails · 11/07/2026 11:56

I thought this was going to have something to do with a chicken...

Oh so did I! Disappointed now.

Bu why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens hadn't been invented.

Scarlettpixie · 11/07/2026 19:50

What a nob. My DS is 19 and he would cross the road to avoid making a lone woman uncomfortable.

Weeellokthen · 11/07/2026 18:41

A man saying something to a woman 😮
How very dare he, scumbag!

Chaarlene · 11/07/2026 18:39

What are the chances of the OP also being, actually...a man?

None. There is no chance.

For were she a bloke, there would have been no calling.

TeaIsLovely · 11/07/2026 18:32

Well he needs to keep his comic talent hidden. What a clown. Oh wait…

Italiangreyhound · 11/07/2026 18:29

It doesn't matter why you crossed the road. He was a twat.

ArseSkinForAFriend · 11/07/2026 18:26

nomas · 11/07/2026 18:23

We get it, you think the guy was joking. You seem to have buried your head in the sand, good luck.

I think in all probability he likely was, yes.

But this has nothing to do with people rewriting the OP’s words for her.

nomas · 11/07/2026 18:23

ArseSkinForAFriend · 11/07/2026 17:25

Well it's not a shout is it? As you said yourself that would be aggressive.

If you see a neighbour across the road do you shout 'Good morning' aggressively or do you just call across as the OP said this man called across with his question?

Either way, there's no point in you or anyone else posting words that the OP has not chosen to use, despite the fact she was actually there.

We get it, you think the guy was joking. You seem to have buried your head in the sand, good luck.

outerspacepotato · 11/07/2026 17:36

To get to the other side.

Duh.

ArseSkinForAFriend · 11/07/2026 17:25

nomas · 11/07/2026 17:20

What do you think a call across the road is, a whisper? Hmm

Well it's not a shout is it? As you said yourself that would be aggressive.

If you see a neighbour across the road do you shout 'Good morning' aggressively or do you just call across as the OP said this man called across with his question?

Either way, there's no point in you or anyone else posting words that the OP has not chosen to use, despite the fact she was actually there.

igelkott2026 · 11/07/2026 17:24

I do this all the time OP especially if I am running and/or the person has a dog.

Sometimes I cross back over once I've passed them, so am waiting for someone to challenge me! At which point my response will be "because you have a dog" or "because I like a pavement to myself".😎

nomas · 11/07/2026 17:20

ArseSkinForAFriend · 11/07/2026 17:03

And again, can you point out where the OP said he shouted across the road?

Because she said he 'called across' it.

Unless you know more than she does?

What do you think a call across the road is, a whisper? Hmm

HorrorPudding · 11/07/2026 17:12

If he notices a woman crossing the road away from him what he really needs to do is recognise why that might be and then get on with demonstrating she has nothing to fear by just carrying on with his day. I know you were going about your day OP and crossing the road had nothing to do with him but I can think of a few women I know who, due to previous horrible experiences with men, might well have crossed over to avoid him and would have found his questioning of their behaviour really threatening.

Decent men are aware their presence can be intimidating for some and take steps like @Mycatmax’s DS to actively show they are not a threat. This man is either hard of thinking or slightly getting off on the idea you apparently felt the need to change your behaviour. If he’s offended by the idea that a woman might cross the road to avoid close contact with him because he sees himself as a decent man then he needs to use a bit of imagination and realise it’s not about him and his feelings.

ArseSkinForAFriend · 11/07/2026 17:03

nomas · 11/07/2026 15:40

Ok shout across the road then. It’s not jokey behaviour, is it?

When did you last shout across the road to stranger? It’s confrontational.

And again, can you point out where the OP said he shouted across the road?

Because she said he 'called across' it.

Unless you know more than she does?

nomas · 11/07/2026 15:40

ArseSkinForAFriend · 11/07/2026 13:05

When did he cross the road to confront her?

I honestly feel like I'm reading a completely different thread.

Ok shout across the road then. It’s not jokey behaviour, is it?

When did you last shout across the road to stranger? It’s confrontational.

BlackSwan · 11/07/2026 13:38

"Fuck off weirdo" would have been my response.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 11/07/2026 13:15

I would have said ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’

user293948849167 · 11/07/2026 13:15

Urgh I wish these men could try being a woman for a while, then ask him why you crossed the road

BillieWiper · 11/07/2026 13:14

Mycatmax · 11/07/2026 12:57

Quite. But the male aggression apologists must try to convince themselves otherwise. Bless them!

Gawd. Yeah it's clearly ridiculously intrusive and aggressive to question why a random walked where they did on a public street?!

ChocolateCinderToffee · 11/07/2026 13:10

The fact that he questioned what you did makes him part of the problem.