A man asked me why I crossed the road

This

I would not have looked at him or replied in any form.

Why did the Mumsnetter cross the road?

I came onto this thread expecting a joke.

I absolutely agree. Context is everything.

In the OP's post, the context is two people who were complete strangers. In your example, the two people were next door neighbours. Very different context.

In the OP's post, the person calling out was questioning her actions. In your example, you were calling out a common greeting. Very different context.

In the OP's post, the person calling out then raised the issue of being scary. In your example, the person calling out didn't. Very different context.

Your example got the context completely wrong. In the OP's context, it is not unreasonable to think that calling out across the street is synonymous with shouting.

Could you explain the joke please?

Until I came on MN I had no idea just how many people are "unnerved" by the most trivial things. How they cope with life I don't know. This could happen to me every week and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Agree. Headphones are your friend. Just look blank.

I would have felt tempted to reply 'Don't flatter yourself'. I am so sick of over-entitled men.

You can cross a road when you want ...I wouldn't even answer or look round at someone saying that.
Or you could've said you're taking up half the road mate and ill cross over when I want .

Eugh, I hate these types of men. My 13 year old son knows to cross the road so girls and women don’t feel scared.

Phone out, filming "well now you are, right?"

I understand completely that you think that.

My point is that continuing to point it out simply makes you part of the 'cheer up, love' brigade.

So he thinks there’s nothing wrong with him while questioning a woman about why she crossed the road.

I would t have even responded.

I know you find this difficult to understand, but I and a few other posters on this thread think it was possibly a joke that didn't land 🤷‍♂️

That's the long and the short of it.

It doesn't mean anyone is dismissing anything, it doesn't mean the OP needs to suck it up, it doesn't mean anyone is downplaying anything.

It simply means that we (I) think it was possibly a joke that didn't land.

I walk a lot, and I’ve noticed men like to be near you, and have some kind of interaction with a woman. Whereas women tend to do the opposite with men.
So he’ll get offended when you cross.
I’ve noticed if a man is in the distance walking towards me, he’s looking at me the whole time and getting to ready to have some kind of contact. I’m avoiding looking at him and working out if I can cross yet or just leave maximum distance.
Men do get really offended and ego hurt by this stuff, we’re just either being polite and leaving space or being safe.

Make privilège right there.
I cross the road sometimes when I see a man coming from the other direction and I don’t feel comfortable/safe etc etc . It’s my choice. What’s it got to do with him?

What do you mean by this?

It doesn't matter if he was joking.

It was ignorant and in poor taste.

Saying to the OP 'it was just a joke that didn't land' makes it sounds like you are defending him and suggesting OP needs to suck it up because it was just a joke.

You're saying you think he's a twat so why are you downplaying what he said?

He IS a twat and it's not OK that he shouted across the road at a lone woman - EVEN if he was joking.

Even if it was meant in a lighthearted sort of way, why is he, a lone man, making a 'silly joke' which involves shouting across the road at a lone woman?

Because he's a twat.

But that doesn't mean it wasn't possibly a joke that didn't land.

Twats make jokes too.

Time for a cheery two fingured salute!

Because “not all men”

He was probs “one of the good guys”

Sorry that happened to you. Hes a dick.

The kind of man who would confront you like this is exactly the kind of man you should cross the road to avoid. Entitled twat. Ignore in future.

'A silly joke that didn't land'.

OK. I get the urge to be a bit dismissive and suggest OP may be being overly sensitive about a silly joke, but let's just pick that apart a little bit.

Even if it was meant in a lighthearted sort of way, why is he, a lone man, making a 'silly joke' which involves shouting across the road at a lone woman?

And a joke which - even in a lighthearted way - includes an insinuation that she might find him 'scary'?

The 'silly joke' (if that's what it is) is a dig at the idea that a lone woman might want to go out of her way to avoid a man walking towards her.

At best it is insensitive, extremely poor taste, and smacks of complete ignorance.

At worst it's not a 'silly joke' at all and is said to intimidate and make him feel superior, and is potentially going to stop a woman feeling safe going out without having to put up with random men shouting at her.

'Didn't land' indeed.... 🙄 You can say that again.

And arguing about the semantics of 'shouting' just distracts from the point. OP stated he called across the road - you have to raise your voice to get someone to hear you from the other side of the road.

It doesn’t really matter if he shouted, crossed the road or anything else. There was no reason for him to interact with OP. Unless he has lived in a cave for the last forty years he should know that many women feel anxious, nervous or even terrified if approached in the street by an unknown man. As someone who was attacked in the street by a man when I was fifteen I can count on one hand the amount of times I have walked alone at night and unless it’s a very busy area I wouldn’t walk alone in the day either. I am in my sixties and that fear has never left me. An interaction like this would have frightened me. It sounds ridiculous when I write this but it’s the truth. If men could just think before they act, but unfortunately some ( not all) men get a thrill from scaring women.